The Aussie Humour Thread

[Alpo]

Not really Aussie, but I thought of y'all and your killer birds when I saw it.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Alpo]

I have always preferred this term, since I was listening to a comic on a record one time. He said he fed his dog a garlic clove, which gave him the runny dribbles.

 

I've used that term ever since.

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

LUNCH IN THE BUSH - Warwick -1893

 

[Eyesa Horg]

19 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

LUNCH IN THE BUSH - Warwick -1893

 

They look pretty excited about their picnic! 🤠

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

3 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

They look pretty excited about their picnic! 🤠

 

    ...... yeah, the beer was warm.

[Buckshot Bear]

Slim Dusty

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

Nui Dat, Vietnam, 1967. Lieutenant Peter McGuiness of Broken Hill, New South Wales (left), a platoon commander with B Company, 7th Battalion, the Royal Australian Regiment (7RAR), points out the features of the F1 Sub-Machine Gun to Malcolm Fraser, Minister for the Army.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

Rayene Stewart Simpson was forty-three. It was his fourth war. The province was Kontum, in the Central Highlands of South Vietnam. The date was 6 May 1969.

His company had been heavily engaged from deeply entrenched bunker positions, and a fellow Australian advisor, Warrant Officer Gill, lay seriously wounded in the open ground forward of the line.

Simpson moved out under concentrated fire.

He drew the enemy attention onto his own position, reached Gill, and carried him back to safety.

He then crawled forward to within ten metres of the bunkers and threw grenades at the enemy positions.

As darkness fell he ordered a tactical withdrawal under smoke, carrying out a wounded platoon leader.

He had grown up at Redfern, in inner Sydney. His father Robert was a labourer. His mother Olga deserted the family during the Depression.

At the age of five he was placed in the Church of England Home for Boys at Carlingford. He was educated there and then at Dumaresq Island Public School near Taree.

He had cut sugar cane in Queensland. He had worked as a builder’s labourer. He had sailed the routes around Papua New Guinea. He had collected fares on the running boards of the Sydney trams.

He enlisted in the AIF on 15 March 1944, aged eighteen. On 5 August he manned the number one Vickers machine-gun at the Cowra POW camp during the mass breakout of Japanese prisoners.

He served with the 2/3rd Pioneer Battalion at Morotai, Tarakan and Rabaul. He was demobilised in January 1947. He re-enlisted in January 1951 and went to Korea with the 3rd Battalion, Royal Australian Regiment. He fought at the Imjin River.

On leave in Tokyo he met Shoko Sakai. They were married at Kure on 16 January 1953. Shoko stayed in Japan to care for her mother, and the marriage ran for the rest of his life across the routes between Australia, Southeast Asia and Tokyo.

He served in Malaya from 1955 with 2 RAR. He was posted to the newly formed 1st Special Air Service Company at Perth in November 1957. In July 1962, promoted to Warrant Officer Class 2, he was selected for the original thirty-man contingent of the Australian Army Training Team Vietnam.

On 16 September 1964, near the village of Ta Ko, his patrol was ambushed by a numerically superior Viet Cong force. The South Vietnamese patrol leader was killed in the opening volley. A rifle round broke Simpson’s right leg. He took command, rallied the men, and refused medical evacuation until the position was secure. He spent eight months recovering in a hospital in Tokyo. He was awarded the Distinguished Conduct Medal.

He discharged in May 1966. The discharge did not last. By May 1967 he had re-enlisted and returned to Vietnam for a third AATTV tour.

That brought him to Kontum in May 1969. Five days after the action of 6 May, on 11 May, his battalion was ambushed at close range.

The American commander, Captain Herb Green, was killed trying to reach a wounded Australian, Warrant Officer A.M. Kelly. Kelly and a group of indigenous soldiers were pinned down.

Simpson led two platoons forward. The indigenous troops fell back under the fire. Simpson kept going alone. He made repeated attempts to reach Captain Green’s body and was driven back each time.

So he placed himself in the open ground between the advancing enemy and the wounded, and held the fire on his own position until Kelly and the casualties were lifted out by helicopter.

For the actions of 6 May and 11 May 1969 he was awarded the Victoria Cross. Queen Elizabeth II invested him at Government House in Sydney on 1 May 1970.

He discharged from the Army on 4 May 1970 and went to Japan to live permanently with Shoko. In 1972 he took a position as an administrative officer at the Australian Embassy in Tokyo. He gave no memoirs and few interviews. He kept a small life.

He died at the University of Tokyo medical clinic on 18 October 1978. He was fifty-two years old. His ashes are interred in the post-war section of the Yokohama War Cemetery.

It was his fourth war. He came home to Shoko.

 

 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

18 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Slim Dusty

 

 

Australian Country Music icon and a worthy hero

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

18 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

BTDT

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

On 4/27/2026 at 3:19 PM, Eyesa Horg said:

They do it with Bison in the States!🤣

And bears, moose, elk, deer, goats and sheep, buffalo and every  other dang thing.  If you don't believe it  just spend a week or two up at Yellowstone.

 

"Hey,Marge, take the kids over by the (take  your  pick) and I'll get a picture.  Don't worry.  They're tame."

 

No dumbass, they are NOT TAME! 

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

On 4/27/2026 at 4:01 PM, Buckshot Bear said:

 

 

 

 

 

And YET tourists wonder why they end up in hospital in intensive care!!!!!!!!!! Picking up a dingo pup will get you a ride in an ambulance!

 

 

 

But they're soooo cute.  Heard that up at Yellowstone, too.

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

On 4/30/2026 at 5:48 PM, Buckshot Bear said:

Are you certain they didn't?....or don't.

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Alpo]

57 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Because if you also love the sheep, they laugh at you and call you a kiwi.

[Sedalia Dave]

57 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Because if you also love the sheep, they laugh at you and call you a kiwi.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

Because if you also love the sheep, they laugh at you and call you a kiwi.

 

And that's why kiwi's like gumboots  

[Buckshot Bear]

Australian farmer Ben Jackson couldn't attend his aunt's funeral, so instead he laid out grain for his sheep in the shape of a heart so that "she could see it through the clouds"

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Subdeacon Joe]

On 5/8/2026 at 8:44 PM, Buckshot Bear said:

 

And that's why kiwi's like gumboots  

 

Also known as Tupperware. 

[Subdeacon Joe]

2 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Lately we've been binging on HFY (Humans  F Yeah!) fiction on YouTube. Basically SiFi short stories, Humans and Aliens. Not actually a video,  but audio book. Great background.

 

There's a big subset of it about Aliens landing in or invading Australia. 

 

Yes ... AI voices, sometimes good,  sometimes irritating,  sometimes mispronounced words that leave you hurting from laughing (listened to one yesterday about a human teaching Aliens about Mexican food).

One example:

 

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

"the translator couldn't decide what Vegemite was. Food? Weapon? Religion?"

I say, all three at once.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

"the translator couldn't decide what Vegemite was. Food? Weapon? Religion?"

I say, all three at once.

 

 You, sir, are not incorrect

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

9 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

"the translator couldn't decide what Vegemite was. Food? Weapon? Religion?"

I say, all three at once.

 NASTY 

[Subdeacon Joe]

20 minutes ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said:

 NASTY 

 

I treat it like Better Than Bouillon.

Try mixing it with some sour cream and cream cheese for a spread.