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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear

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2 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

My wife has a cousin in Tucson Arizona. She says you need to lift the sheets before getting in bed as there may be a scorpion under the covers. My question is, "What the hell makes you think one won't crawl in after you fall asleep?" I wouldn't sleep! She says the  same about shoes in the morning!

Folks who are freaked about it have the bed legs set in bowls of water!  Apparently, there is only one really bad one here, the bark scorpion, which I never even heard of.  I ran into them in the southwest a couple of times, usually on patios of entertainment venues in the evening - these boots are made for stompin.

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1 minute ago, Eyesa Horg said:

I guess it's like anything, ya get used to it.

 

Ticks are something that I've never gotten used to Eyesa...hate 'em, over here on the East Coast we have paralysis ticks that kill dogs and cats. They aren't great for humans either and will knock a horse or cow about badly. The native wildlife are immune to their poison.

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1 minute ago, Rip Snorter said:

Folks who are freaked about it have the bed legs set in bowls of water!  Apparently, there is only one really bad one here, the bark scorpion, which I never even heard of.  I ran into them in the southwest a couple of times, usually on patios of entertainment venues in the evening - these boots are made for stompin.

 

When the mouse plagues come out West (the ground literally moves with millions of mice) people try things like that to stop mice climbing up bed legs.

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2 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Ticks are something that I've never gotten used to Eyesa...hate 'em, over here on the East Coast we have paralysis ticks that kill dogs and cats. They aren't great for humans either and will knock a horse or cow about badly. The native wildlife are immune to their poison.

I don't like ticks either, had 2 on me already this spring. They make me feel crawly the rest of the day.

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8 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

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Yep spiders don't work for me at all, especially the big ones! I send Ellie to stomp !

Edited by Eyesa Horg
Otto
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Just now, Eyesa Horg said:

I don't like ticks either, had 2 on me already this spring. They make me feel crawly the rest of the day.

I can buy pills that keep fleas, ticks, and mites off my dogs for several months at a time.  You'd think with Lymes, they'd have them for people!

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5 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

I can buy pills that keep fleas, ticks, and mites off my dogs for several months at a time.  You'd think with Lymes, they'd have them for people!

You're absolutely right, but nooooo! They do a number on moose up here, many die over the winter because they will accumulate 50 thousand or more on them and they rub all their fur off and starve as well. It's a shame.

Edited by Eyesa Horg
Otto
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5 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

I can buy pills that keep fleas, ticks, and mites off my dogs for several months at a time.  You'd think with Lymes, they'd have them for people!

 

Yep all our dogs are on them now. My vet used to joke (in the days before the chews) that he used to put some of the then liquid drops on the back of his neck....could never work out if he was serious or not.

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1 minute ago, Rip Snorter said:

I don't miss the drops, tho I probably got a bit through my fingertips!

 

Parting hair and trying to apply it the stuff went everywhere!

 

One of our dogs is such a glutton she loves the chews....our other dog I have to push them down his throat.

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4 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Parting hair and trying to apply it the stuff went everywhere!

 

One of our dogs is such a glutton she loves the chews....our other dog I have to push them down his throat.

Ours didn't like the liquid, it make her flip over and squirm all over the carpet trying to get it off. I presume it may have burned. She liked the chewables until this year, now we have to break them up and slip em in her food. 

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1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Parting hair and trying to apply it the stuff went everywhere!

 

One of our dogs is such a glutton she loves the chews....our other dog I have to push them down his throat.

Liverwurst or hotdog pieces solves that, tho your fondness for those will seriously diminish!

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2 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Ours didn't like the liquid, it make her flip over and squirm all over the carpet trying to get it off. I presume it may have burned. She liked the chewables until this year, now we have to break them up and slip em in her food. 

 

 

Gotta rely on her baser nature to out smart her.  Dogs are greedy, so use her greed against her.

 

Tear a slice of ham into 3 pieces.  Wrap the chew around one of them. 

 

Show her a piece of ham without the chew in it and give it to her. 

 

As soon as she has it, let her taste then show her the piece with the chew wrapped in it.  She'll gobble the 1st piece down to get the 2nd piece. 

 

As soon as she takes it, show her the 3rd piece.  She'll swallow the ham and the chew to get the another piece of ham.

 

Cheese works well, too.

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On 4/20/2022 at 11:55 AM, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

 

 

Gotta rely on her baser nature to out smart her.  Dogs are greedy, so use her greed against her.

 

Tear a slice of ham into 3 pieces.  Wrap the chew around one of them. 

 

Show her a piece of ham without the chew in it and give it to her. 

 

As soon as she has it, let her taste then show her the piece with the chew wrapped in it.  She'll gobble the 1st piece down to get the 2nd piece. 

 

As soon as she takes it, show her the 3rd piece.  She'll swallow the ham and the chew to get the another piece of ham.

 

Cheese works well, too.

 

This is our Australian Silky Terrier.....she is such a glutton she would jump through a flaming hoop for 1/4 of a grain of rice! She's no problem giving tablets too -

 

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On 4/20/2022 at 11:55 AM, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

 

 

Gotta rely on her baser nature to out smart her.  Dogs are greedy, so use her greed against her.

 

Tear a slice of ham into 3 pieces.  Wrap the chew around one of them. 

 

Show her a piece of ham without the chew in it and give it to her. 

 

As soon as she has it, let her taste then show her the piece with the chew wrapped in it.  She'll gobble the 1st piece down to get the 2nd piece. 

 

As soon as she takes it, show her the 3rd piece.  She'll swallow the ham and the chew to get the another piece of ham.

 

Cheese works well, too.

 

This is our Australian Cattle Dog (Blue Heeler) he, regardless of how a tablet is hidden in any type of food will eat whatever surrounds a tablet or what a tablet is in and leave/spit out said tablet :( 

 

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Our previous Rottweiler was like that. She ate her supper like someone was gonna steal it. But hide a pill in it...... She'd woof the food in 3.2 seconds and the pill would be left in the bott of a sparkling bowl. I don't know how they do it!

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What does an article about Johnny Depp getting divorced have to do with dogs? I noticed it said that he smuggled his dogs into Australia (I presume y'all have a quarantine, like England does?), but his being drunk and stoned for most of his life doesn't seem to have much to do with dogs.

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1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

The box jellyfish?

 

Isn't this the dog thread?

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42 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

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 ....... he can check on the condition of the propeller while he's down there ...... 

            ....... and have a look for them boxing jellyfish too ......... ;)

 

 

 

Edited by Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062
left out an important bit ....
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26 minutes ago, Alpo said:

The box jellyfish?

 

Isn't this the dog thread?

No, it's "The Aussie Humour Thread" !

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He posted the picture of a long haired rat dog, and then another picture of a blue dog. Then you talked about a Rottweiler. Then he said "these are fun to swim with".

 

I thought it was going to be another type of dog. That's why I was confused with Johnny Depp - what did he have to do with dogs?

 

I was lost.

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Uncle Alpo,

 

  .... Mister depp-stick and his Significant Other came to Australia and brought their 2 dogs with them.

This was against our Quarantine Laws.

The dogs were impounded and almost "put down", .... per our Quarantine Laws.

 

 Big-ish hoohaa about it all.

I don't think they will be allowed back here.

 

:excl:

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