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Give Dad a Heart Attack


Subdeacon Joe

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The stuff kids come up with can be incredibly funny.  When my oldest grandson was about five I asked him what he wanted for Christmas.  He thought about it and said he wanted a "Screwdriver Football Thing".  Well, that stumped me and everyone else until about a month or so later until I was wandering around in a toy store AND I SAW ONE!  It looked like a football field and the players operated the game by turning levers that had screwdriver handles.  "A FOOSBALL TABLE"

He did not know the name of the game but had described the thing perfectly.  He got it!

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One never knows when the baby sitter is there alone.
My (long dead) friend in Colorado Springs had Cassandra Petersen as his kids' babysitter.. long before she went on to become Elvira.

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Didn't have a heart attack, but it qualified as a Cardiac Stress Test!
Her name is Abigail, she's crowding her mid twenties now, a fine young woman withal.

I remember her best when she was twelve, all legs and giggle, and remember her well indeed when she was first brought home from the Horse Pistol as an incredibly wee thing.

Her father sent me a photo of his darlin' daughter on her tenth birthday.

She'd just made the delightful discovery that her Mama's shoes fit her, she strapped on her Mama's stiletto ankle straps, and was dancing in the living room.

The photo was perfectly timed: she was in mid-step and turn, her skirt flared, her hair floating, one leg up, a look of utter delight on her face ...

TEN YEARS OLD ...

... and she looked like an eighteen year old out clubbing!
He told me later he saved me the cost of a cardiac stress test: if I didn't fall over dead after looking at that picture, my heart must be in pretty good shape!

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Babysitters can mess your mind up.

 

Me and the wife have been off somewhere. We get home and we send the babysitters on their way - couple that lived down the street. The youngest girl - 4 - is in the tub getting a bath, and I noticed a double row of bruises going down alongside of her spine.

 

WHAT THE HELL??!?!?!!?

 

I asked her if anybody hit her. She said no. I asked the other kids if John or Jenny had done anything to her. They said no.

 

Then I bend over and pick her up out of the tub. Same way I always pick her up. Around the rib cage. My thumbs on her breastbone and my fingers along her back. And my fingers covered up every one of those bruises. Oops. Apparently the child bruised easily. I guess the babysitters did not beat her.

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On 7/17/2021 at 11:49 PM, bgavin said:

One never knows when the baby sitter is there alone.
My (long dead) friend in Colorado Springs had Cassandra Petersen as his kids' babysitter.. long before she went on to become Elvira.

 

Coolest baby sitter ever.

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  • 2 weeks later...
20 hours ago, Domino Fats 109182 said:

I loved that game. Used to play for hours.

 

Babysitter or Operation?

 

:D

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