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Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?


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I don't remember where I saw this - probably the Reader's Digest - but I do recall it WAS many many years back. The guy had a pet cheetah. And he would exercise it by tying some toy the cat like to play with to the back of his car and speed off down the road.

 

He gets pulled for 70 in a 60, and the cop did the standard, "what's your hurry?"

 

He told the cop he was TAKING HIS CAT FOR A RUN {just exercising his cheetah}. (Went into deep meditation and sank deeply into my memories, and pulled up the actual line from the story - the correct phrase is in all caps)Then he points back down the road and says, "There he comes".

Edited by Alpo
almost managed to get a post by otto
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A kid speeding down a rural highway in Alabama gets pulled over.

The policeman approaches the car shaking his head.

He tips his "Smokey Bear" hat back and lowers his mirrored sunglasses and says "Boy, I have been waitin' for you all day."

The kid says "Well Officer, I got here as  quick as I could."

 

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Guy I went to high school with got a brand new Dodge pick up for his 16th birthday, so he didn't have to ride the bus any more.  One day, he's back on the bus and I asked him why.

 

He had decided to find out how fast it would go, so he went up the 4 lane several miles, turned around and floored it when he hit a straight and level  stretch of road that runs for the better part of 2 miles.  At the end of the straightaway, there's a fairly steep hill where the 4 lane climbs the ridge that forms the west side of the river valley. 

 

When he topped the hill, the Alabama State Trooper headed the other way said that he clocked him at 116.

 

Jamie saw the Trooper turn on the gumball machine and start to turn around, so he pulled over on the side of the road and was sitting on his tailgate with his license and paperwork in his hand when the Trooper slid to a stop behind him.

 

The Trooper asked him why he had pulled over and was told that Jamie had seen the Trooper turn on the light and had figured that there was no reason to add to his problems (which included his dad killing him for getting a speeding ticket) by trying to out run the law, so he had pulled over and waited for him.

 

The Trooper wrote him up for 19 over instead of hauling him to jail- and followed him home and had a talk with his dad about how he was impressed by how Jamie had handled the situation.

 

It didn't keep Jamie off of the Cheese Wagon for the next 3 months but his dad also didn't sell the truck either.

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True Story

I was a fairly new copper and pulled a lady over for speeding. I walked up to her window where she slid down her sunglasses, slid down the top of her dress saying if I wanted more of that, then tossed out a piece of paper taking off. I just turned around walked back to my car and did a "U" turn. Nope, not me, wanted nothing to do with that. Happily married. Nope not me. Worked for her though.

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3 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Just so everybody knows, "Because you were lonely and wanted someone to talk to," is NOT the proper response either.<_<

Also, the proper answer is not "Because you saw me before I saw you"

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Cop: "Tell me one I have not heard before, and I will let you go."
Guy: "My wife ran off with a cop.  When I saw the red lights, I thought he was trying to bring her back."

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2 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Guy I went to high school with got a brand new Dodge pick up for his 16th birthday, so he didn't have to ride the bus any more.  One day, he's back on the bus and I asked him why.

 

He had decided to find out how fast it would go, so he went up the 4 lane several miles, turned around and floored it when he hit a straight and level  stretch of road that runs for the better part of 2 miles.  At the end of the straightaway, there's a fairly steep hill where the 4 lane climbs the ridge that forms the west side of the river valley. 

 

When he topped the hill, the Alabama State Trooper headed the other way said that he clocked him at 116.

 

Jamie saw the Trooper turn on the gumball machine and start to turn around, so he pulled over on the side of the road and was sitting on his tailgate with his license and paperwork in his hand when the Trooper slid to a stop behind him.

 

The Trooper asked him why he had pulled over and was told that Jamie had seen the Trooper turn on the light and had figured that there was no reason to add to his problems (which included his dad killing him for getting a speeding ticket) by trying to out run the law, so he had pulled over and waited for him.

 

The Trooper wrote him up for 19 over instead of hauling him to jail- and followed him home and had a talk with his dad about how he was impressed by how Jamie had handled the situation.

 

It didn't keep Jamie off of the Cheese Wagon for the next 3 months but his dad also didn't sell the truck either.

 

I had nearly the exact thing happen to me when I was 17; I only got my S-10 up to 94 though. 

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Had a '67 390 GTA Mustang along with a new driver's license. A couple girls and I were over in a nearby town in another county. I was at a stop sign on top of a hill in the middle of town getting ready to turn right on to the highway. After I started to pull on the highway, I saw a large green Buick coming up the hill like a bat out of hell so I gunned it to get in front of him and out of his way. This resulted in a "little" fishtail. Oh, I forgot to mention that it had just rained and the roads were wet. Also, there was no other traffic. Anyway, as I got to the edge of town, the Buick hit a siren and red lights in its grill!

 

The fat (think Buford T.) town sheriff got out, came up to my car and wrote me a ticket for reckless driving, speeding and evading arrest! (Those of you from rural areas know how out of towners from nearby communities are treated when there is a little rivalry (think basketball)).

 

So, my father and I go to the judge in the county seat at the appointed time. Well, the two counties are separated by time zones where for six months we are an hour different and the time changed that weekend so we were an hour late!

 

After telling the judge my side of the story, he responded - "That SOB. He's always pulling crap like this. Case dismissed"!

 

Come to find out the sheriff and judge were from different sides of the political tracks and were not fond of each other.

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Howdy,

So I ask the cop if he has a shovel in his squad car.

He says  No. why?

I said I know you have a gun and if you have a shovel we can

shoot this car and bury it right here.

Best

CR

 

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A cop pulls a man over for speeding

Cop - "Why are you in such a hurry"

Man -  "I'm on my way to my job at the hospital".

Cop -  "Oh really, what do you do"?

Man - "I'm a proctologists assistant".

Cop - "A proctologists assistant, what is that"?

Man - "Well, for the proctologist to work, I have to enlarge the rectum".

Cop - "How do you do that"?

Man - "I work it back and forth until it is the size needed for the procedure". "One time I got one to 6 feet".

Cop - "What on earth do you do with a 6 foot a$$hole"?

Man - "Give him a badge and a radar gun".

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1 minute ago, Cypress Sun said:

A cop pulls a man over for speeding

Cop - "Why are you in such a hurry"

Man -  "I'm on my way to my job at the hospital".

Cop -  "Oh really, what do you do"?

Man - "I'm a proctologists assistant".

Cop - "A proctologists assistant, what is that"?

Man - "Well, for the proctologist to work, I have to enlarge the rectum".

Cop - "How do you do that"?

Man - "I work it back and forth until it is the size needed for the procedure". "One time I got one to 6 feet".

Cop - "What on earth do you do with a 6 foot a$$hole"?

Man - "Give him a badge and a radar gun".

.... And that's when he Tazed me, Your Honor.;)

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"Mister Hardpan, I pulled you over 'cuz you have a trailer hitch ball on yore bumper!"  :rolleyes:

 

                                        130108422_TruckLicensePlate.jpg.5d971ce1bae5b4cd5c6533622aec3c38.jpg

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Texas Law Dog Joke

 

Trooper pulls an older woman over for speeding

Trooper: need your DL proof of insurance, etc

               Have any weapons in the car mam?

Woman: Yes I have my Glock in my purse.

Trooper: You have a CHL mam?

Woman: Why Yes I do , OH and I have my 1911 in the glove box.

Trooper a Glock in your purse  AND a 1911 in the glove box ?

Woman: Yes I keep a shotgun in the trunk just in case.

Trooper: a Glock, a 1911 and a shotgun....Lady what are you afraid of?

Woman: Sonnny, not a damn thing!!

 

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I had two cars when I was 20: a new Gran Prix date car and a 1970 Gran Prix with a 400 c.i. out-with-the-guys car.

Plate on my 1970 was IXLR8NXS.

I did until I had to stop.

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On 7/16/2021 at 10:35 AM, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Guy I went to high school with got a brand new Dodge pick up for his 16th birthday, so he didn't have to ride the bus any more.  One day, he's back on the bus and I asked him why.

 

He had decided to find out how fast it would go, so he went up the 4 lane several miles, turned around and floored it when he hit a straight and level  stretch of road that runs for the better part of 2 miles.  At the end of the straightaway, there's a fairly steep hill where the 4 lane climbs the ridge that forms the west side of the river valley. 

 

When he topped the hill, the Alabama State Trooper headed the other way said that he clocked him at 116.

 

Jamie saw the Trooper turn on the gumball machine and start to turn around, so he pulled over on the side of the road and was sitting on his tailgate with his license and paperwork in his hand when the Trooper slid to a stop behind him.

 

The Trooper asked him why he had pulled over and was told that Jamie had seen the Trooper turn on the light and had figured that there was no reason to add to his problems (which included his dad killing him for getting a speeding ticket) by trying to out run the law, so he had pulled over and waited for him.

 

The Trooper wrote him up for 19 over instead of hauling him to jail- and followed him home and had a talk with his dad about how he was impressed by how Jamie had handled the situation.

 

It didn't keep Jamie off of the Cheese Wagon for the next 3 months but his dad also didn't sell the truck either.

A guy that I went to high school was ticketed for 140 on a 71 (or thereabouts) Corvette 454. Someone asked him why he was going so fast   he said "Fast! I was slowing down". He had a couple of big block cars. A Dodge with 440 Wedge and a Chevelle with 454. I think his family had money? 

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True story..

One Arm Bill Wilson a Cowboy shooter sadly has since passed away...

Coming back from a big shoot some 300 miles away, rounds a corner & loses control only a few hundred yards from an earlier accident that happened a couple of hours before, which Bill wasn't aware of.

After crashing thru all the bush & coming to rest in an open field a cop races to Bills car...

Are you alright mate he says..

Bill replies..''Geez give us a minute I only just got here me self  !

 

Just on a side note Bill was a true inspiration..an accident when he was a young boy , he had a stick in his mouth, fell over & it went thru his upper mouth causing severe damage..his left arm &  leg were locked solid, the hand was also facing the wrong way & there were other problems yet he overcame these & designed & built a chair for a deep sea  game fishing boat, raced cars  & to see him achieve being able to shoot Cowboy was just unbelievable, the things he made & did to shoot those guns was truly an inspiration.

The old saying of don't sweat the little things is certainly true...

Sadly Bill left us in 2010..I will never forget him .

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Cop pulled a fellow over.  Walks up to the window.  Gets the drivers paperwork and as the officer is writing out the ticket, the driver says, I suppose you expect me to buy tickets to the policeman's ball.  The officer replies, policemen don't have ,,,,,,,,,, .   The officer thought for a moment, stopped writing the ticket, tore it up and wished the driver a nice day.

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State Trooper: You were going awfully fast.

Driver: I was just trying to keep up with traffic.

Trooper: There isn't any traffic.

Driver:  I know! That's how far behind I am!

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A State Trooper in PA pulled over a elderly lady just past the junction of I-78 and I-81.  The State Trooper asked, "Madam, I just clocked you doing 81 miles per hour.  What were you thinking?"

 

The lady replied, "Well Officer, the last road I was on had a sign that said 78, so I set the cruise control to 78.  Then I came to this road and saw a sign that said 81, so I set the cruise control up to 81."

 

With that the State Trooper busts a gut laughing.  The lady asked, "What's so funny, Officer?"

 

The State Trooper replied, "Madam, I'm just glad I stopped you before you got to Route 322."

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On 7/20/2021 at 12:25 AM, Dustin Checotah said:

A guy that I went to high school was ticketed for 140 on a 71 (or thereabouts) Corvette 454. Someone asked him why he was going so fast   he said "Fast! I was slowing down". He had a couple of big block cars. A Dodge with 440 Wedge and a Chevelle with 454. I think his family had money? 

Folks have failed to note that the Trooper clocked him doing 116 at the top of the hill. 

 

Heaven only knows how fast he was doing at the bottom of the ridge because that hill is fairly substantial for the area and it's steep enough to drop his speed pretty good.  Personally, I always have figgered he was doin' 125-130ish before he started uphill.  Even with all of that momentum, the run up the hill is long enough to bleed off at least 10-15 mph.

 

Not too shabby for a bone stock 318 and two barrel in a pick up.

Edited by Smuteye John SASS#24774
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1973
 

I was driving through town in a torrential downpour one afternoon, when I saw a local police officer that I’d had several run is with, sitting, somewhat hidden, at an intersection controlled by a stop sign. He had harrassed me and several of my buddies at every turn.  He was only a year or two older than I was and was basically a bully.  I drove down the street, turned around, and eased through the intersection again, this time doing a rolling stop.

 

My buddy, sitting in the passenger seat, is throwing a fit! The cop pulls us over. My buddy sits there giving me a look like I’ve lost my mind.  The cop walks up to the window and I roll it down slowly. He asks if I know why he stopped me and asks for my credentials, water pouring off of his hat. 


As I slowly retrieved and profered the requested documents, I looked skyward and asked, “Do you know why I ran the stop sign?”  

 

Fine for running stop sign: $10.00

 

Seeing a smartassed cop soaked to the skin:  PRICELESS 

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