Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

Stanley French Press review -- funny


Alpo

Recommended Posts

Found this on Amazon. I think the guy likes the press.

 

 

We had been on the road for nearly a week, touring Amish country and had finally made our way out of Wisconsin. For the entire week we had been on a cooking magazine sponsored trip to sample cheeses, little did my employer know that I was in fact lactose-intolerant. The cheese had wrecked my system like a drunk oil tanker captain in Alaska. I was paying for the cheese curds and cheddar with some serious constipation. No hope was in sight and driving around/camping in a tear drop trailer meant that only public commodes were my sanctuary. We stopped over in a campsite, nestled amongst tall aspen birch and beyond that, snow topped mountains where you could hear the sound of werewolves howling in the distance. A camp site over was an old man, sitting on a stump smoking a long pipe. His long white beard hide much of his face but you could tell, this guy had ridden stallions over rainbows and swam with piranha. Our gaze met and he beckoned to me with his hand. I walked over and though I only remember one stump, another one appeared for me to place my puckered butt. When i sat down, I smelled a sweet earthiness, floating on the breeze. He looked at me, and for the first time I noticed that one of this eyes, was scared, turned a milky white, but as if it worked without flaw, he stared deeper, reaching the celestial dust that settled on the bottom recesses of my soul. From out a nebulous fog that was our cerebrial connection, he broke the conduit that bonded us. He said, “you need what is lingering on the breeze my boy”. He pointed his staff and told me to fetch the French press. I made my way to the casual looking van and found a Stanley French press waiting, the water was hot, the coffee had been steeping and the smell of earth, fire, wind triggered in me a feeling of freedom. We poured cup after cup and swigged the blackness down. Hotter than the lake of fire where el Diablo himself skinny dips, smoother than the coat of a centaur, nuttier than my great uncle Percivil, stronger than dragons glass. The press perfectly filtered out all the grounds leaving us with only the nectar of Odin. All of sudden, I felt a stirring. A dam was being taken down, the Berlin was was crumbling, the foundations of the earth quivered. It was time and again the old man, from motioned me but this time to a small building. I stood up and began running, when I could hear him laugh from behind his long white beard. It echoed throughout the aspens and thundered amongst the hills. A wind began to swirl the leaves around me, the sky grew pink and as I glanced over my shoulder, the old man had vanished. When I got to the building, I found that it was a bathroom, empty, clean and ready for me to do my duty. A weeks worth of cheese exited me quicker than a company of airborne infantrymen from a C-130 . Had I not met the old man and his Stanley French press, I might have gone on living life of a dying man. I went on to master the art of ninjitsu and paint a masterpiece that now resides in the louvre. I ordered my own Stanley French press, I use it to make coffee everyday and everyday I grow stronger.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I couldn't laugh and thank you at the same time, but that was awesome! I've been wanting one for camping for some time. I have three others of different sizes already. All but one are gifts. However, glass in the great outdoors isn't always a great idea.

 

11 minutes ago, Alpo said:

quicker than a company of airborne infantrymen from a C-130

 

:lol::lol::lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is funny! :lol:
Heck, after reading that I might buy one. The line “The press perfectly filtered out all the grounds leaving  us with only the nectar of Odin.“ definitely got my attention. I have tried 3 different French Presses and all 3 left me with coffee that was full of “fiber”. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Howdy,

Starbucks coffee press made of stainless steel.

It comes with a filter screen.

Its up to the cook to grind beans the proper size.

And I use a little timer to get the flavor right.

Six to eight minutes works for me.

Up to 20 min still tastes fine to me.

With a one burner gas stove coffee can be made in remote locations.

Try 2 am the dark woods waiting for PressONRegardless rally cars.

Best

CR

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

That is funny! :lol:
Heck, after reading that I might buy one. The line “The press perfectly filtered out all the grounds leaving  us with only the nectar of Odin.“ definitely got my attention. I have tried 3 different French Presses and all 3 left me with coffee that was full of “fiber”. 

The problem is over grinding the coffee. A course grind is necessary with a French press because the mesh filter will not catch tiny grounds. The better presses have very fine mesh but if the coffee is ground too fine there will still be debris. Took me a while to realize this and get my bring just right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The best coffee I ever drank was from a French press in a little roadside place in the backwoods of Japan not too far from Iwakuni.  A tiny little old Japanese lady made it and in very good English thanked me for coming in and asked me to come again.  I did that several times until I was returned stateside.

 

Never found its like since, but I'm still looking.

 

Thanks.  For the reminder and  the responses and hints from your "students", and the laughs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Howdy,

Ive had good luck with Cuisinart burr grinder.

It has a hopper that holds beans. A lid keeps em fresh.

Every few months it does need a cleaning out.

Coffee at the diner is now 2.19 a cup plus tax.

I figgure a quart pot of dunkin runs me 37 cents.

A good thermos keeps coffee good all day.

Heat up with the microwave if needed????

YMMV

Best

CR

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IKEA UPPHETTA bout 8 bucks. Also folders french press at wally world less than 20 if I recall

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Howdy.

Somewhere I got a press mug for making one cup.

Bought it used it and stored it for years.

Works well for making different kinds of coffee during the day.

More of a novelty.....

Best

CR

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

37 minutes ago, Chili Ron said:

Howdy.

Somewhere I got a press mug for making one cup.

Bought it used it and stored it for years.

Works well for making different kinds of coffee during the day.

More of a novelty.....

Best

CR

 

 

I forgot, my daughter got me one of those that I use on occasion. I guess I have four French presses...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Clumsy oaf that I am, I broke so many French Press carafes that I finally bought a stainless steel one. :)

 

 

Screenshot 2021-06-20 at 08-17-43 Amazon com Thermos NCI1000SS4 Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Gourmet Coffee Press, 34-O[...].png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have one that we used before we got moved to our new home. It is very nice, clean up is a pain, but a good cup of coffee is worth it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I use a Bunn coffee pot for morning coffee before going to work.  Ready in three minutes and gets me out the door.

 

Of a larger issue is when we travel.  Not much worse than various hotel dirty water mixtures vaguely referred to as "coffee".  All these various "pod" coffee makers also create abominations.

 

I bought an Espro P6 double-walled, stainless steel, 32 oz French press.  We took that, an electric kettle, a small electric coffee grinder and a bag of BRCC Just Black coffee beans on a road trip a few weekends ago.  Nectar of Odin?  I don't know about that.  Heaven in a cup?  Absolutely.

 

The only drawback is rinsing the press in a hotel sink or bathtub.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm a fan of Bunn makers myself. Have gone through three of them. We are self admitted coffee-holics here. Using an inexpensive Mr. Coffee at the moment. Eight o'clock Columbian is our "fix" and we run through a LOT of it! We usually get the pre ground, but do have a burr grinder to utilize the whole bean if we have to. It can be set for different grinds.:blush:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

Clumsy oaf that I am, I broke so many French Press carafes that I finally bought a stainless steel one. :)

 

 

Screenshot 2021-06-20 at 08-17-43 Amazon com Thermos NCI1000SS4 Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Gourmet Coffee Press, 34-O[...].png

I bought a plastic near indestructible one a few years ago in Colo. at a gourmet shop. Our son always set up coffee the night before. Problem was his looked more like tea, and Salty Sarah and I both like it strong enough to float a fence staple. Problem solved. Has been on quite a few cruises as well. Cruise ship coffee ranges from barely tolerable to outright SUX. Yeah, it's a bit of a PITA to clean up but worth it. Made a few friends in the smoking section when I brought some coffee fittin' to drink.

JHC

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.