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Clever One-Liners


bgavin

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23 hours ago, Hendo said:

Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. 

 

Considering how few episodes actually aired, the show has an amazing number of one liners and the like.

"Ten percent of nothin' is ... let me do the math here ... nothin' into nothin' ... carry the nothin' ... "

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14 hours ago, DocWard said:

 

Considering how few episodes actually aired, the show has an amazing number of one liners and the like.

"Ten percent of nothin' is ... let me do the math here ... nothin' into nothin' ... carry the nothin' ... "

I've actually used Mal's line that followed that a few times. 

"Your mouth is talking. Might wanna look to that." :lol:

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"The only reason why some people seem to get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory"

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Lady Astor - Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

Churchill - Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

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There are two kinds of people in this world, those that think there are two kinds of people and those that know better.

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Lets flip a coin, heads I win, tails you lose.

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17 minutes ago, Finagler 6853 Life said:

I started out with nothing and have most of it left.

 

I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

 

Reminds me of what I would occasionally say many years ago:

 

"I thought I was wrong, once, but I was mistaken.  I'm not conceited.  Conceitedness is a fault and I have no faults."  :D

 

Angus

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1 hour ago, Raylan said:

Lady Astor - Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

Churchill - Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

 

Churchill - I'm having trouble deciding what costume to wear for the Halloween ball.

 

Lady Astor - Why don't you just go sober? Nobody will recognize you.

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On 5/16/2021 at 3:06 PM, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Character is doing the right thing when nobody can see you.  


Similarly: “A gentleman is someone who uses ice tongs when no one is looking.”

 

Seamus

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I am not responsible for what I can’t remember.

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We grow too soon old and too late smart.

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In my defense, I was left unsupervised       GW

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Two lines, but....

 

If you have integrity nothing else matters.

 

If you don't have integrity nothing else matters.

                   

                                            U. S. Senator Alan K. Simpson,  Rep., Wyoming

 

It hangs on my den wall.

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They had to rename Chuck Norris BLVD, because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. 

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“Common sense isn’t so common”

 

“Diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the brain”

 

”Sharp as a marble!”

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"That was more fun than should be legally allowed or morally permissible."

                                                                                                          CK              

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The difference between a weed and a flower is a judgement.

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You sure stand out in this crowd. You know. "Like a turd in a punchbowl".

 

 

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The mighty oak was once just a nut who held his ground. 

 

Let me show you how the guards used to do it.  (this one gets lots of wide eyed looks)

 

Let me show you something I learned from a monkey in a zoo.  (this one gets a good reaction too.)

 

I told my daughter to tell any boy who flirted with her that I'm not afraid to go back to prison.  That was apparently very effective because the rumors were still going strong around the school when she graduated.  I know because one of them had the courage to ask me about it.  I told him I've learned ways to stay out of prison.  And no, I haven't been to prison yet.  They didn't need to know that though. 

 

 

 

 

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I heard this the other day on the radio and decided it may come in handy someday. Probably best used in a meeting or conference room setting. 
 

“Well, I don’t like to point fingers, but I did it!”

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