One more Saint Pat's Memory ~ Sassparilla Kid and the Leprechaun

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967]

Sassparilla Kid and the Leprechaun

 

     “Hey, Dad!  You know what next Friday is, don’tcha?”

 

      “Sure do, Ry!  So who’s coming this year?”

 

      “Kevin, James, and Tyler.  It’s gonna be fun and this year we’re gonna CATCH him!”

 

     And with that it was ON!  Eight year old Ryan - the Sassparilla Kid - was going to be hosting his third annual St Patrick’s Day sleepover and Leprechaun Hunt.  But this one was going to be different.  Ry and his buddies were much older, wiser, more worldly, and had undoubtedly honed their predatory skills to a level that would give them an excellent chance of finally catching the wily leprechaun.

 

     Twice before, at ages six and seven, Ry’s buddies had done a St Patrick’s sleepover and “Leprechaun Hunt.”  But not on the Saint’s day itself.  March 17 had fallen those years on a Tuesday and a Wednesday; the “gathering of the lads” was of necessity on the weekend following.  And of course, as the day had passed, there was evidently too little of the special “magic” remaining for the boys success.

 

     Mind you, they did try!  The boys had constructed simple traps in the hopes of catching one of the little scamps.  Alas; they had been unsuccessful.  Nevertheless, fun was had… games, cartoons, treats, and of course the possibility of snagging one of the li’l fairy dudes brought it’s own excitement.  The morning after, there was often indication that a “visit” had happened; little baskets of treats.  However… no gold. 

 

     But this year… this year could be very special indeed.  As it was a leap year, we got a jump of a day and the holiday celebrating the banishment of snakes from the Emerald Isle was going to be on Friday.  Friday!  No school the next day!  Sleepover and leprechaun hunt on the Magic Day Itself!  Perfect!

 

     The day finally arrived.  After school, the boys were all to go home, and would be dropped off by a parent at around six pm.

 

     The plan was dinner – hot dogs and chips for the boys, a scoop of green pistachio ice cream for dessert, popcorn for the movie, and a variety of other treats.  Preferred over corned beef and cabbage, which I was going to have with two of the dads, who were going to stay just long enough to eat – Kevin’s dad, Bobby, and James’ dad, Mark – and maybe a green beer or two.  Milk for the youngsters, of course!

 

     The meal was fun, with tales of Irish lore, a few [clean!] Irish jokes, and tales of the capricious nature of the Little People.  At one point, there was mention of the well-known fact that if a Leprechaun was in the vicinity, something could unexpectedly turn green.  None of us had ever experienced this phenomenon, but by Golly, everyone knew it to be true!

 

     After dinner, the movie – Darby O’Gill and the Little People, a delightful tale revolving about the loving animosity between an aging Irish caretaker and King Brian of the Leprechauns.  Much better fare than the later leprechaun movies that presented them as horrible creatures.  But I will admit, when I first saw Darby O’Gill I was Ryan’s age and I did have nightmares about banshees.

 

     Anyway, after the movie, the kids were to design and construct the official leprechaun trap.  And, having become so much more seasoned and sophisticated over the past year, the boys were quite confident. 

 

     Movie treats were to be popcorn and M&M’s for the boys, and the drink of the evening was 7-Up or Sprite.  Clear liquid, served in clear plastic cups.  Poured by one of the guys.  All unaware of the three drops of green food coloring discreetly placed in the bottoms of the cups much earlier.

 

     So, of course, when Tyler poured the first cup, the liquid poured crystal-clear and immediately transformed into a gorgeous, vibrant green.

 

      “OMIGAWD!  Lookit, you guys!!”

 

     The boys crowded around and marveled… their astonishment increasing as each successive cup of soda was transformed.

 

      “Yup.  That confirms it.  There’s a leprechaun in the vicinity!” Ryan declared.  The boys all looked about nervously as they settled in for the film.

 

     After the movie, they set about in earnest to construct an effective trap.  I have to admit, it was ingenious.  I was startled, however, when Ryan asked to borrow my “gold” Wells Fargo pocket watch. 

 

      “Uh… whaddaya want my watch for, son?”

 

      “BAIT!  We’re gonna bait our trap with it, Dad!  No leprechaun can resist the opportunity to steal gold!  And your watch looks like it’s gold!”

 

      “Yeah, but Dude… I don’t wanna lose my watch!”

 

      “Aw, don’t worry, Dad… after we catch the leprechaun, we’ll take it away from him and give it back!”

 

     Okay.  Surely sounds like a plan to me.  I guess!

 

     So.  The trap was constructed thusly:

 

     First, they took the spaniel-sized portable dog kennel and hauled it into Ryan’s bedroom and placed it in the middle of the floor.

 

     They then found a small pulley, and affixed it to the inside rear of the kennel.  A stout cord was routed through the pulley, one end secured to the crate door and the other to my watch.

 

      “Watch this, Mr Curmudgeon!” commanded one of the boys.

 

      “See?  When the leprechaun enters the open door, he’ll snatch the watch and haul bananas to get away.  But the cord will slam the door in his face!  If he drops the watch to open the door, it’ll scoot back to the rear of the kennel… he’ll run back, grab it, and the door will slam again!  Either he’ll get tired out or won’t let go of the watch and we’ll HAVE him!”

 

     And then, just to make sure, they took a large, lightweight piece of fabric about eight feet square and, using dowels, propped it up as a canopy over the dog crate.  A string tied to the kennel door and one of the dowels ensured that with the first door closing, the canopy would collapse and cover the crate, further confusing the captured leprechaun.

 

     A terrific plan – bound to work! the boys declared.

 

     Eventually, with Ryan’s room closed up and the trap set, the boys settled in for a good night’s sleep in the living room. 

 

     After I was sure the kids were soundly asleep, I had one more task to complete, then off to bed.

 

     About two AM, there was a knocking on my bedroom door.

 

      “Dad!”  “Rod!”  “Mister Curmudgeon!” quiet, but insistent voices called through the closed door.

 

     I got up and opened the door, finding four sets of VERY wide eyes set in semi-terrified faces staring at me.  I sleepily asked “What’s up, guys?”

 

      “WE GOT ‘IM!” four voices anxiously declared in unison.

 

      “Huh?  What?  You got who?  What’re you talking about?” I asked, still groggy from my sudden awakening.

 

      “WE CAUGHT THE LEPRECHAUN!!”

 

      “Huh?  What??”

 

      “C’mere!” they said.  “Listen!” as they pushed me toward Ryan’s bedroom door.

 

     I put an ear to the door, and sure enough, could hear something…

 

      “Let’s look!” I said, reaching for the knob.

 

      “Nuh uh…!  YOU look!” they said as they stepped back.

 

     I cracked the door.  “O Wow!  Look at that!”

 

     The boys cautiously crowded about and peeked.

 

     The canopy was collapsed, and had settled over the closed kennel.

 

     And from beneath the fabric came the awfullest sounds… grumbling, snarling, muttering, soft cursing, spitting…

 

      “What’s he saying?” asked one of the boys.  “I can sure hear ‘im, but can’t understand ‘im!”

 

      “Dunno… mebbe he’s talking in Gaelic.  But he sure is MAD!”

 

      “What’re we gonna do?  Can you grab ‘im, Mister Curmudgeon…?”

 

      “Oh HECK no!  I ain’t goin’ in there!  He’d probl’y turn me into a toad or somethin’!”

 

      “So what’re we gonna DO??” they demanded.

 

     I pondered for a moment, then closed the door…

 

      “Tell ya what, guys!  Remember the movie?  He loses his magical powers when the sun comes up… so, let’s all go back to bed, and when we get up in the morning, we’ll have him!  Then we can make him give us his gold and three wishes!” 

 

     The guys instantly agreed that it was a most capital scheme, and charged down the hallway toward their sleeping bags.  I returned to my bed, and set my alarm for eight AM.

 

     The sun was up.  Birds were chirping.  In the distance geese were honking… but what woke me was an insistent tapping at my bedroom door.

 

      “Dad!”  “Mister Curmudgeon!”  “Rod!”

 

     I dragged my weary carcass out of bed, and opened the door…

 

      “What’s up, guys?”  I asked, as I ground fists into my eyes.

 

      “C’mon!  We gotta check on the leprechaun!”

 

     Oh… that!

 

     Well… I insisted on coffee first, to fortify my nerves.  The boys had some now non-greening soda.

 

     Then… we crept back down the hallway.  Gathered about Ryan’s bedroom door.

 

     I carefully opened the door (none of those young men were quite brave enough yet), and peered within.

 

      “Oh, My!” I declared.

 

     Curiosity overcoming caution, the lads all gathered around and peeked around me… then burst past.

 

      “He’s GONE!  But LOOK!”

 

     Indeed, he was gone! 

 

     The fabric cover was piled against the far wall, and the supporting dowels scattered. 

 

     The dog crate was open, lying on its side several feet from its original position.

 

     The window was open, and the screen tossed into a bush outside.

 

     The leprechaun was gone.  He must have escaped the kennel just before sunrise.

 

     But!

 

     Leading from the crate to the window was a trail of about twenty-five or more of the brand-new, golden Sacajewea dollar coins. 

 

     And a much larger number of gold-foil covered chocolate coins.

 

      “Well boys, he got away… but he lost his treasure.  Have at it – and give me my watch back!”

 

     So I had a less-than-restful night.

 

     The boys had a wonderful adventure.

 

     And for her service, Rosemary, the half-Manx cat, was rewarded with a can of tuna.

 

 

 

[Alpo]

California leprechauns bring goodies? Like the Easter Bunny?

 

Florida leprechauns don't do that.

[Dantankerous]

This story should be published. Great short! Well done and super enjoyable!

[Four-Eyed Buck,SASS #14795]

Wonderful, Hardpan! Maybe you should start a second career

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

10 hours ago, Dantankerous said:

This story should be published. Great short! Well done and super enjoyable!

 

 ..... ALL Mr. Curmudgeons' stories should be published; or, at least, compiled in one place .... for general access   

[Subdeacon Joe]

"See Here, Mr. Hardpan!"  The perfect title for The Book!  

 

[watab kid]

gotta admit i enjoyed that read 

[WOLFY]

great story!  perfect timing, too.

[Cactus Jack Calder]

The Sassparilla Kid is one fortunate young man. His childhood seems to have been one amazing adventure after another. 
 

I heartily agree, these stories should be published. I also like Joe’s tittle for the collection.

 

CJ

[Alpo]

On 3/18/2021 at 3:28 AM, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

Clear liquid, served in clear plastic cups.  Poured by one of the guys.  All unaware of the three drops of green food coloring discreetly placed in the bottoms of the cups much earlier.

 

     So, of course, when Tyler poured the first cup, the liquid poured crystal-clear and immediately transformed into a gorgeous, vibrant green

 

[Pat Riot]

A most excellent story, Hardpan. Thank you. I finally took the time to read it. Glad I did.