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Subdeacon Joe

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5 minutes ago, Four-Eyed Buck,SASS #14795 said:

I can relate to a LOT of them:lol::blush:

Same here. I just picked my favorite that I would like to do. Looking forward to it. ;)

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#8, My former boss once told a parolee we were taking back to prison "Shut up, the only reason you are still sucking air is Collier [me] had decaf..."

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Number 18 proves that the author has never been in the South and gotten directions.

 

It's all landmarks 'Turn left at...', Take a right at....', 'It's right past....'.  No mention of cardinal points. 

 

On the other hand, the landmarks are often things like 'Go past the intersection where those 2 Mustangs collided back in '87' or 'Take the 1st right past where the Jones twins used to live', so north, south, east and west would probably work out better.

 

Locally, they added county road numbers to all the roads back in '90 when 911 started.  The problem is, I moved away about the same time.  I know where to go and how to get there- I just can't tell anybody else how to do it because I have never bothered to learn the county road numbers.  I think I know all of 5 road numbers/ road name combinations- and 2 of them are the roads immediately adjacent to the road I live on (which represents #3).

 

The funny thing is that the local municipal government headed by Mayor Bubba (he really answers to Bubba and has his whole life) have suddenly decided to go back to road names after 30 years of County Road numbers.  :huh:

 

Considering how they gerrymandered what's in and not in town when they held the incorporation vote (a quarter of my Dad's place is in town, the rest is still in the county, as an example), this ought to be amusing.  NOBODY really knows where town ends or begins since they drew the town limits lines based on potential tax revenue and the location of stronghold subdivisions of supporters and there's a few little pockets of incorporated town surrounded by the county here and there. 

 

On top of that, I'm sure some of the newcomers are going to start hanging new names on roads that have been named in use for 150 years- just to add to the confusion- because they haven't lived here long enough to know what they were called before '90.

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22 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Number 18 proves that the author has never been in the South and gotten directions.

 

It's all landmarks 'Turn left at...', Take a right at....', 'It's right past....'.  No mention of cardinal points. 

 

On the other hand, the landmarks are often things like 'Go past the intersection where those 2 Mustangs collided back in '87' or 'Take the 1st right past where the Jones twins used to live', so north, south, east and west would probably work out better.

 

Locally, they added county road numbers to all the roads back in '90 when 911 started.  The problem is, I moved away about the same time.  I know where to go and how to get there- I just can't tell anybody else how to do it because I have never bothered to learn the county road numbers.  I think I know all of 5 road numbers/ road name combinations- and 2 of them are the roads immediately adjacent to the road I live on (which represents #3).

 

The funny thing is that the local municipal government headed by Mayor Bubba (he really answers to Bubba and has his whole life) have suddenly decided to go back to road names after 30 years of County Road numbers.  :huh:

 

Considering how they gerrymandered what's in and not in town when they held the incorporation vote (a quarter of my Dad's place is in town, the rest is still in the county, as an example), this ought to be amusing.  NOBODY really knows where town ends or begins since they drew the town limits lines based on potential tax revenue and the location of stronghold subdivisions of supporters and there's a few little pockets of incorporated town surrounded by the county here and there. 

 

On top of that, I'm sure some of the newcomers are going to start hanging new names on roads that have been named in use for 150 years- just to add to the confusion- because they haven't lived here long enough to know what they were called before '90.

 

Best directions I ever heard were to "go straight down this road and take a left at the last stop light in town."  I looked down the road and only saw one stop light so I asked "how do I know when I get to the last one?"  She told me "it's the one just before the last stoplight."  "Huh?  I thought you said I wanted the last stoplight."  "No, you want the last stoplight in town, the last stoplight is outside of town."  I asked, "do these streets have names?"  "No don't worry you can't miss it."

 

Dems is some local directions right there. 

 

In Austin there's a road called Mopac.  Everyone calls it mopac.  Thing is, no map or road sign I ever saw while I was living there said mopac, Officially it was loop 1.  If you called it loop 1 when talking to someone, they'd look at you funny. 

 

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I’m thinking numbers eight and nineteen!!  Those are the two that most fit my outlook and thinking process!!

 

I usually want to get done with what I’m involved in and I have difficulty keeping from saying, “Cut to the chase!”  I don’t suffer fools at all and despise stupid, even in myself!!

 

As far as 30 seconds in my head?  That’s probably 20 seconds too long!! :ph34r: :ph34r: :lol:

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