Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

Let's suppose you are Jane


Alpo

Recommended Posts

Tarzan has come to save you from the lions. He and the lion are rolling around on the ground. He is trying to stab the lion while the lion is trying to chew and claw him to pieces.

 

You have a rifle. Unfortunately you have no ammunition.

 

You wish to help Tarzan.

 

Would you hold the rifle by the barrel and swing it like it was a club at the lion? Or would you hold it by the pistol grip and the forearm and stab with the barrel, like it had a bayonet on it?

 

I just got through watching Tarzan and His Mate, and Jane could not make up her mind. She would hold it one way and take a step towards the fight. Then she would back up and change her grip and now she had it the other way. Fortunately Tarzan won the fight without her help.

 

But it got me to wondering. If I wanted to help somebody who was in a fight, and I had an empty rifle, how would I use it?

 

How would you?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A straight butt stroke might be the most effective!! Not as likely to break the stock, which will allow a repeat if needed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Remembering how Jane is usually depicted, the mag is likely full.

If not, the only ammo at our local gun store is likely in those African cartridges that end with Rigby, Jeffreys and Lott.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, this is for Jane!

 

Toss that rifle aside, grab Mister Lion by the tail and have at it!!  :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In that movie, so far, Jane and Tarzan went swimming. She got up on the bank while he continued to swim. She was attacked by a lioness. HELP ME TARZAN! Tarzan came up out of the river to kill the lioness.

 

Little bit later Tarzan was off gathering food and she was attacked by a rhinoceros. HELP ME TARZAN! Cheetah played rodeo clown and got gored. Then Tarzan arrived and killed the rhino.

 

While Tarzan was burying Cheetah, she was attacked by a leopard. She was up in a tree, and the leopard climbed the tree after her. she was able to successfully avoid the leopard by diving into the river. Where she was attacked by a crocodile. HELP ME TARZAN!

 

And now she's being attacked by two lions, and he had to show up and save her AGAIN.

 

Talk about your high maintenance woman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

26 minutes ago, Alpo said:

In that movie, so far, Jane and Tarzan went swimming. She got up on the bank while he continued to swim. She was attacked by a lioness. HELP ME TARZAN! Tarzan came up out of the river to kill the lioness.

 

Little bit later Tarzan was off gathering food and she was attacked by a rhinoceros. HELP ME TARZAN! Cheetah played rodeo clown and got gored. Then Tarzan arrived and killed the rhino.

 

While Tarzan was burying Cheetah, she was attacked by a leopard. She was up in a tree, and the leopard climbed the tree after her. she was able to successfully avoid the leopard by diving into the river. Where she was attacked by a crocodile. HELP ME TARZAN!

 

And now she's being attacked by two lions, and he had to show up and save her AGAIN.

 

Talk about your high maintenance woman.

 

Which movie is this...?  :huh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

9 minutes ago, Alpo said:

That would be the second Johnny/Maureen movie.

 

So is that the one?  "Tarzan the Ape Man" or "Tarzan and his Mate?"  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's the second one. The first one, Tarzan the Ape Man, Jane's father goes on safari looking for the elephant graveyard. She goes along. Meets and falls for Tarzan. They get to the graveyard, and daddy carks. They bury him there with the dead elephants, and the one other surviving member, besides Jane, of the safari goes back.

 

Tarzan and his Mate, the guy that went back makes another safari to go back and get the ivory from the graveyard. Jane and Tarzan go skinny-dipping. When Tarzan decides he is not going to show them how to get to the graveyard, one of the ivory hunters shoots an elephant, so they can follow it to the graveyard. Then he shoots Tarzan. Tells Jane he saw Tarzan get eaten by a crocodile. With Tarzan gone she had no reason to stay in Africa, so she was going out with the safari and the ivory. Ran into a hostile tribe. Lions were involved.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dangit, Alps... watching it now - don't tell me the butler did it!  :lol:

 

Some pretty remarkable effects and cinematography for 1932~!  ^_^

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

Dangit, Alps... watching it now - don't tell me the butler did it!  

Oh come on now. You mean to tell me that you have not seen this movie forty eleven times, and know how it ends?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

1934, Tarzan and His Mate, Olympic Swimmer Josephine McKim replaces Maureen O’Hara for the nude underwater scenes?

That might notta been Maureen swimming around nekkid, but it was sure her changing clothes in the lit up tent, were the two dirty old men were watching her silhouette on the walls.

Screenshot_20210106-084157~2.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Back in the day, my parents thought the Anette Funicello beach movies too risqué for this adolescent to see. Yet they didn’t seem to mind (or notice) me staring at Jane in her halter top and loin cloth on tv. Yes, back in those days the censors weren’t on the ball with old movies. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I never understood why in the heck Tarzan kept saving Jane. He should have let the Crocks have her. Jane just too much trouble.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

That movie would not fill theaters.

 

Sure it would. All the people to see Jane finally get it. And a new Jane could be introduced to continue the series.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.