Good advice

[Utah Bob #35998]

[Waxahachie Kid #17017 L]

When I would lead discussion groups, back in the day, and the topics/subjects of the discussion were, perhaps, controversial,, I would warn everyone that there will be no name calling, or put downs. I told them they need to be on a truth quest, and not a happiness quest. I told them let's try to discover the truth, and then, let the truth take us where it points, regardless if the truth may, or may not, agree with our present stance.

I told them I would shut down the discussion, and we would all go our merry ways, if any name calling, or disrespect, began.

Depending on the subject of the discussion, I had to shut it down more often than I wanted to.

 

I found that when someone was extremely adamant about a subject, and would not listen to any other viewpoint, then that may indicate their position on the subject was weak, and they were actually afraid that they might be faced with the "unthinkable"...that they might be wrong, and might be persuaded to think otherwise. Seemingly, those with the most acid attitudes, and comments, had the weakest arguments. Ego? Yes, that could be one reason.

 

You know, the worst thing anyone can do is be rude to someone, especially those we don't know, or know only slightly, or have just met. Now if they know us, and we know them, and they know we care about them, then we can tell them almost anything without hurting their feelings, or turning them "off", because they know our motives. If they believe we have insulted them, we totally lose any influence, that we may have had, to at least persuade them to listen to our point-of-view. It is called "tact"...or perhaps the lack thereof. How difficult is it to say..."well, in my own personal experience here is what I came to conclude", and go from there. Saying "you're wrong, you stupid idiot", won't get you anywhere. They tune you out, from then on, even if what you say makes sense to them, they won't listen.

 

Can humanity disagree without being disagreeable? I hope so, but from looking around, and from personal experience, I mostly tend to not think so.

 

 

 

[Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619]

A long life and 45 years of the practice of law, mostly in trial practice, led me to formulate the following--

 

Red Gauntlet's Ineluctable Maxims:

 

1. All indignation is false indignation;

2. All outrage is mock outrage;

3. All offense is feigned;

4. All threats are empty.

 

(These apply as fully to oneself, as to others.)

 

If you recognise these precepts you never get angry any more, and you can turn all arguments on their heads. Dissension vanishes, novel facts emerge, digestion flows like a wide river...

 

 

[Smokin Gator SASS #29736]

I like that quote. Also have started really enjoying Tom Hardy movies (pictured with quote).

[Ozark Huckleberry]

16 hours ago, Waxahachie Kid #17017 L said:

I found that when someone was extremely adamant about a subject, and would not listen to any other viewpoint, then that may indicate their position on the subject was weak, and they were actually afraid that they might be faced with the "unthinkable"...that they might be wrong, and might be persuaded to think otherwise.

 

To borrow from Jonathon Swift, reasoning will rarely change someone's belief if it wasn't based on reasoning to begin with.

 

That doesn't mean, 'don't try,' it means don't expect it to work right off.