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Trigger Mike

Mom is on her way

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When my dad was sick and nearing the end my mom moved near my youngest sister so she could help her care for my dad and her when he left.  She also did so because my younger brother that she lived near had a wife that didn't like him seeing her much.

 

When my dad got pneumonia my sister would not go near him for fear she would get sick.  Then when the virus hit she refused to let me mom see her unless she had been quarantined 14 days first and then outside and mask except for one occasion she could come inside but not stay long.  

 

My mom got depressed,  felt unwanted and questioned why bother living if no one loves her.  She grew lonely even though she did see friends sometimes which meant restarting quarantine again if she wanted to see my sister and her children.   When she had to go to the hospital my sister refused to pick her up as she might get the virus and "die instantly".  

 

My mom had enough,  and about that time a house I had bought and repaired and rented out at the end of my 3 tenth miles driveway came open when my tenants bought their own house. 

 

My mom sold her house that was a few blocks from my sister and is moving into my rental house.   She lived in a col de sac in Missouri where cops made drug arrest sometimes to a house with woods , deer, my house and 1 next door neighbor.   My children are looking forward to spending time with grandma here in GA.   My oldest is taking dual enrollment classes so some are on line so she plans to go to grandma where she has faster internet to do school since she is up the hill from my house and has better signal.  My other ones plan to ride their atv to see grandma.   A much different scenario than she us used to.

 

I did, in fun, tell her she has to quarantine in the local cheapest nursing home for a couple of weeks first .  

Edited by Trigger Mike
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I forgot to add, when she went to tell them goodbye they stood on the other end of the porch with mask on and she wanted a picture and asked them to take their mask off, they did but the 9 year old son hid behind his mom, and then when the wind blew he got scared and ran inside. 

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I'll bet when mom passes your sister will be there asap to claim her share of any assets your mom has.

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Glad you're taking care of your Mom. :)

 

Your sister needs something special....rhymes with flap.

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Yes, they hate the president and any who support him and bloke my mom from the family chats when she praises the president.  

 

 

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Your Mom needs to update her will RIGHT NOW.

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You’re a good man, Trigger Mike.  Love to you and your Mom.

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12 minutes ago, MizPete said:

Your Mom needs to update her will RIGHT NOW.

I told her to change her will to not give anything to her children and give it to the grandchildren instead since her children treat her like we do

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What is it about "honor your father, and your mother", that she doesn't get? 

 

T.M., you did the right thing. Good for you!

 

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel". 1 Timothy 5:6

 

"...it runs in the blood of a man that he should care for womenfolk. It's a need in him, deep as motherhood to a woman.....If he's to feel of any purpose to himself, he's got to feel that he's needed, feel he stands between somebody and any trouble." Louis L'Amour - The Sky-Liners.

 

 

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Well done Sir! Praying fro you all here.

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My 9 year old daughter is beside herself with excitement she is coming.   

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Take how your 9 year old daughter feels, and multiply the rest of you, and your family, to the equation, that will welcome her, and that's likely how she is feeling.

 

Not too many things are better than the feeling of being wanted. 

 

I love stories with a happy ending.

 

W.K.  

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She got here late this afternoon.   I was out driving the school bus when she got here.  She stopped by her new home and emptied her car with a friend who drove her.   Then we took them to our fishing cabin since her home is in disarray and my wife made supper and after a while let them rest.  She seemed really happy but tired.  Kids hated to leave her to rest but understood.   They keep mentioning things they want to do with her, like make her a milkshake my son likes to make or have her go to his football game.   

 

Matter of fact I was at a meeting with the headmaster today and mentioned my mom coming and my 11 year old wanting her to come to his last game and the school said if she is too tired to sit in the bleachers then tell them and they will let her park her car by the ambulance on the edge of the field to watch it there.  I thought that was really nice.

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Trigger Mike, we lost all 4 parents in the last 6 years. This has really hit home, take care and may God bless you all.

Edited by DeaconKC
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how fortuitous that you were able to accommodate in her time of need , most of us have been through this or are in it now some still approaching it im sure , we all go through it and its good to know of these successes - this covid crap is turning some of us into nazis right before our eyes and it seems we are as unwilling to react as we were in the late 30s , hope your mother enjoys her new digs and family around her for all the years she has left - our parents gave us better lives than they had , they deserve better as well in the last of theirs 

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I'm getting concerned already as she does not seem as sharp as she did the last time I saw her a year ago.   She seems to get overwhelmed easily.   She has a somewhat lost look on her face even though she has visited here and spent days at a time here before.  Maybe see how she does as she gets settled in 

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If some older folks are alone too much, they may tend to be quieter. They (and all of us) need lots of interaction with family and friends. They need something to look forward to. The mind can get sharper the more it is used, and challenged. There are also natural supplements that can be taken to help.

Also this is all new, and different. No one adjusts at the same rate to new surroundings. Visiting you before, is one thing...moving there to live is another.

Perhaps, given some time, and some more physical, mental, and emotional stimulus, things will be better.

Humans, for the most part, do not like change...especially if the change is rapid.

Sometimes humans resist change, to a greater or lessor extent, because they get used to a place, and change represents the unknown.

I have found that sometimes, the known...even though it may not be very good, is less scary than the unknown...even if the unknown is potentially going to be lots better. 

Time, perhaps, will tell.

 

 

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After the treatment she received from your sis, she may be recovering. That and relocating is hard on older loved ones.

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Educate your kids to call and ask Grandma if it is OK to come by before they knock on her door. Be sure they stress to her that another time is perfectly acceptable answer and that their feelings will not be hurt by it.

 

Your mom has done a pretty stressful thing by moving from Missouri to Georgia. Just traveling in a car for a couple of days can be hard. Five her the space to sort everything out including some alone time to gather her thoughts.

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On 10/20/2020 at 6:50 PM, Trigger Mike said:

I told her to change her will to not give anything to her children and give it to the grandchildren instead since her children treat her like we do

Your sister's children probably don't appreciate her any more than your sister does.  I'd leave everything I had to the ones who loved me.

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She keeps posting pictures on Facebook for her children to see of her playing with my children and pictures of her house and pecans she picked to make a pie and stories of things she is doing.   She is having a ball, but did get a sinus infection,  likely from stress and climate change from Missouri.   

 

We did give her a good bit or rest today.   My son and I took her supper and fixed a table for her and left.  She feels better now. 

 

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