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May be an image of text that says 'A NEW STUDY FOUND THAT PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR COFFEE BLACK ARE MORE LIKELY to EXHIBIT PSYCHOPATHIC TRAITS. AND PEOPLE WHO ORDER A QUAD SHOT, NON-FAT, VANILLA SOY, EXTRA FOAM, LIGHT WHIP WITH CARAMEL DRIZZLE ARE MORE LIKELY to BE THEIR VICTIMS.'

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11 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

Name:  30067C21-981D-4C36-9A1E-11DCC4885B0B.jpg Views: 674 Size:  39.4 KB

 

11 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

attachment.php?attachmentid=87366&stc=1&

 

11 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

Name:  King.jpg Views: 831 Size:  24.8 KB

1424337028_Screenshot2022-02-08160342.jpg.84bb37d9ab468f1d74fc71196c0d3c65.jpg

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3 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

:rolleyes::blush::rolleyes:

I've found my share of those special trees in my day! :P

And I've walked many miles of ground marking them to prevent it! Still happens though!

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Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty. 

Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.

The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.

Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you has da normal GI insurans an' you goes to Afghanistan an' gets youself killed, da govment' pays you benefishery $20,000. If you takes out da suppmental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollars a munt, den da governmen' gots at pay you benefishery $400,000! 

"Now," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch you tink dey gonna send at Afghanistan first?”

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An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.' She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.' The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.' 

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Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried

chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right,

everyone else in the class laughed.

 

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried

chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and

he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love

animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

 

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what

happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

 

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal

was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd

asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make

them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office

again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

 

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher

doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what

famous person we admire most.

 

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

 

Guess where I am now??...

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