Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

Friday Humor - jump in and add some


Recommended Posts

A strange man had been sent to polish the floors. His manner was anything but energetic, and the lady feared he would not polish them properly.


“Are you quite sure that you understand the work?” she asked.


His indignation was tremendous.


“You know the Browns, two houses over?” he said. “Well, I refer you to them. On the polished floor of their dining-room, five persons broke their legs last winter, and a lady slipped clear down the grand staircase. I polished all their floors.”

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One day a number of men were discussing peculiarities.


“Yes,” said one of them, “I believe I am as free from peculiarities as anybody on earth. Now some people do a thing one way and some another; as for me, I can do things any way.”


“Is that so?” said an interested member of the party. “How do you stir your coffee?”


“Why,” answered the gentleman, “I stir it with my right hand at times, and then again I stir it with my left hand; it makes little difference which.”


“Oh,” answered the other, calmly, “how peculiar! Most people stir theirs with a spoon."

  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Am English foreman in one of the Kensington textile factories is in the habit of having an apprentice heat his luncheon for him. The other day he called a new apprentice.


“Go downstairs and ’eat up my lunch for me,” ordered the foreman.


The boy, a typical young American with no knowledge of cockney English, obeyed with alacrity. He was hungry.
Ten minutes later the foreman came down. He also was hungry.


“Where’s my lunch?” he demanded.


The boy gazed at him in amazement.


“You told me to eat it up, and I eat it.”


“I didn’t tell you to heat it up,” roared the irate foreman. “I told you to ’eat it up.”


“Well, I didn’t heat it up,” maintained the youngster, stoutly; “I eat it cold.”

  • Like 1
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Once in Banbury,” says a writer in the Baltimore Sun, “I dined with an English farmer. We had ham for dinner—a most delicious ham, baked.

The farmer’s son soon finished his portion and passed his plate again. ‘More ’am, father,’ he said. The farmer frowned. ‘Don’t say ’am, son; say ’am.’ ‘I did say ’am,’ the lad protested, in an injured tone. ‘You said ’am,’ cried the father, fiercely. ‘’Am’s what it should be. ’Am, not ’am.’ In the midst of the controversy the farmer’s wife turned to me with a little deprecatory smile. ‘They both think they’re saying ’am!’ she said.”

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

.

There is a story, in connection with a certain paper, which tells how it referred to two learned gentlemen as “bibulous old flies,” instead of “bibliophiles.” Next morning the editor received a very wrathful protest. In his correction and apology, however, he said something about “the learned gentlemen are too fastidious.” To the editor’s horror, the printer again distinguished himself, and the statement appeared, “The learned gentlemen are two fast idiots.”

  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

say-no-to-gasoling-go-100-electric-electric-cars-47061141.png

 

Ok.  So he planned ahead in case he didn't make it to a charge station and does that twice on a 1000 mile trip, each time having to burn a half gallon of fuel to get enough charge to get to an actual charger.  WOW!!!  The horror's!  The hypocrisy!  Burning a whole gallon of fuel on a 1000 mile trip!

 

These memes imply that carrying a charger like that is the ONLY way electric vehicles are ever charged.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Ok.  So he planned ahead in case he didn't make it to a charge station and does that twice on a 1000 mile trip, each time having to burn a half gallon of fuel to get enough charge to get to an actual charger.  WOW!!!  The horror's!  The hypocrisy!  Burning a whole gallon of fuel on a 1000 mile trip!

 

These memes imply that carrying a charger like that is the ONLY way electric vehicles are ever charged.

Most times they are charged from a coal burning power plant, using more resources that if they ran on gas. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Most times they are charged from a coal burning power plant, using more resources that if they ran on gas. 

So?   It cost me $80 every two weeks back in March to get too and from work. That would be over a hundred bucks every two weeks now. I needed over five grand in work done on that 20 year old truck.  Our leased Nissan Leaf, if I charge at a commercial fast charger costs me about $20 every two weeks. If I put it on the slow charger at home, Level 1 that plugs into the 110, that drops to less than $10 per month.  The savings in fuel basically make the lease payment. Doesn't sound more expensive to me.  

 

Yes, it does take a bit more planning.  Yes, even the "fast" chargers take about 45 minutes to take it from "under a quarter of a tank" to full.  I may have to throw it on the home 110 overnight once during the week (mostly from my own paranoia), but Fridays after dinner the wife, the dog, and I go to one of the fast chargers in town, plug in, browse a store, or maybe walk the dog, or just sit and listen to music and chat.  Then go for a half hour or hour drive, and top off at home so I'm ready for the next week.  Or we do the pleasure drive first then stop and charge.

 

Did we go electric because it's "green?". No.  We did it became for us, at this time, it made economic sense. Do we think that EVs are a magic panacea that will solve all our problems?  No.  No more so than everyone switching to F250s (or pick your preferred equivalent) would solve all our problems.  

 

But the lies, distortions, and half truths put out by the anti-everything electric does as much harm to reason and discussion as the anti-coal, anti-internal combustion engine "green" propaganda does.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

An Engineer dies but lands in Hell.

He’s talking with Satan & says, “What a terrible place! It’s very hot, dark, smoky”

Satan says, “Well, what did you expect? this IS Hell!”

The engineer says “Do you have a compressor, some tubing, and wire?

Satan says, “Yeah, we might have some of that stuff around, I’ll check and see what I can find for you.”

Satan finds the stuff & the engineer starts designing improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, iced water, good lighting, flush toilets & escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular!

One day God calls and tells Satan, “Say, we had a mix-up. I was checking records & discovered that by error an engineer got sent down to you. He should have come to Heaven. All engineers go to Heaven. You need to transfer him up here.”

Satan says, "Why, things are going great. We've now got air conditioning, iced water, flush toilets, great lighting, and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. We like him! We’re going to keep him.”

God is horrified. "That's clearly a mistake! He should never have gone down there in the first place! Send him up here immediately!"

Satan says, "No way! I really like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I'll sue you!”

Satan laughs, “Yeah, right, Good luck on that. n where do you expect to find a Lawyer?!"

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

I really didn’t think that was going to end well. I wonder what they did with it…

 

The look on the garbage mans face when it landed in the back of the truck would have been priceless.

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, John Kloehr said:

 

 

11 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

I really didn’t think that was going to end well. I wonder what they did with it…

It would be great if they could figure out a way to get some "porch pirates' to steal the box! Open that sucker in your car!

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I posted this some time ago; however, seems appropriate at this time.

 

2021_09_29_02_14_32.jpg.761b3975ec666421b77d61e0d6b7eb6b.jpg

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.