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Friday Humor - jump in and add some


Pat Riot

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7 hours ago, Alpo said:

 

One day, a Master Chief went to the Officer's Club with his Captain to eat lunch. When they entered the main dining room, they found the place was quite crowded.

 

They did notice three Lieutenants sitting at a table with two empty chairs, so the Captain asked them if they could join them. The Lieutenants promptly invited them to join them. They ordered lunch and joined them in conversation as they ate. At one point, the Master Chief mentioned that he had observed characteristics about many officers from which he could determine the sources of their commissioning. The Lieutenants were eager to hear about this and asked if he could tell how each of them had been commissioned.

 

The Master Chief turned to the Lieutenant on his left and said he went through NROTC. The Lieutenant confirmed that was correct and asked how he had noted this. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant, through his conversation, seemed to have a strong academic background but limited military experience.

 

The Master Chief then told the Lieutenant on his right that he had gone through OCS with previous enlisted service. The Lieutenant confirmed that this was correct and also asked how he had determined this. The Master Chief said, again through his conversation, that the Lieutenant seemed to have a firm military background and a lot of common sense.

 

The Lieutenant across the table from the Master Chief asked if he had determined his source of commission. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant had graduated from the United States Naval Academy. The Lieutenant stated that was correct and asked if he had noticed his high level of intelligence, precise military bearing, or other superior qualities acquired at the United States Naval Academy. The Master Chief replied that it was none of these that led to his determination.

 

He had simply observed the Lieutenant's class ring while he was picking his nose.

Something similar to that happened in the O Club at Tan Son Nhut (SP?) AFB in March, 1966.  Some West Point Captain was putting down ROTC, OCS, and Field Commissioned officers when a Colonel said something similar to that to him.  The kid apologized and left the club....which likely saved his life.

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9 hours ago, Alpo said:

 

One day, a Master Chief went to the Officer's Club with his Captain to eat lunch. When they entered the main dining room, they found the place was quite crowded.

 

They did notice three Lieutenants sitting at a table with two empty chairs, so the Captain asked them if they could join them. The Lieutenants promptly invited them to join them. They ordered lunch and joined them in conversation as they ate. At one point, the Master Chief mentioned that he had observed characteristics about many officers from which he could determine the sources of their commissioning. The Lieutenants were eager to hear about this and asked if he could tell how each of them had been commissioned.

 

The Master Chief turned to the Lieutenant on his left and said he went through NROTC. The Lieutenant confirmed that was correct and asked how he had noted this. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant, through his conversation, seemed to have a strong academic background but limited military experience.

 

The Master Chief then told the Lieutenant on his right that he had gone through OCS with previous enlisted service. The Lieutenant confirmed that this was correct and also asked how he had determined this. The Master Chief said, again through his conversation, that the Lieutenant seemed to have a firm military background and a lot of common sense.

 

The Lieutenant across the table from the Master Chief asked if he had determined his source of commission. The Master Chief replied that the Lieutenant had graduated from the United States Naval Academy. The Lieutenant stated that was correct and asked if he had noticed his high level of intelligence, precise military bearing, or other superior qualities acquired at the United States Naval Academy. The Master Chief replied that it was none of these that led to his determination.

 

He had simply observed the Lieutenant's class ring while he was picking his nose.

I am a 'Boat School grad and I giggle every time I see or hear this or its variants. I do have thick skin and enjoy a laugh, so if anyone has any USNA (boat school, canoe u, small boat and barge school) jokes, ones about Marines, aviators or the Irish, lay them on me. 

 

PF

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I'll never pick on the Army, Marine Corps, or the Navy.  We all declared war on Japan and Germany at the same time.

 

I do pick on the Air Force because they are just children in the time line, but they can't help it.....and they did bail me out once.

 

The Coast Guard gets my respect because they've been in the fray since the beginning, too.

 

And then there's the Space Force.  They were born a joke and I expect they'll be a target for years to come.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German were all standing at the back of a crowd watching a street performer engaged in some juggling.  The juggler noticed that they were craning their necks trying to see him better.

 

He stepped up onto a box and called out to them, "Can you see me now?"

 

Yes!

Oui!

Si!

Ja!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What?

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20 hours ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

I'll never pick on the Army, Marine Corps, or the Navy.  We all declared war on Japan and Germany at the same time.

 

I do pick on the Air Force because they are just children in the time line, but they can't help it.....and they did bail me out once.

 

The Coast Guard gets my respect because they've been in the fray since the beginning, too.

 

And then there's the Space Force.  They were born a joke and I expect they'll be a target for years to come.

 

I enjoy some good inter-service rivalry. Just don't let someone without a DD214 butt in and try to add to the humor. It's like teasing your siblings. You can tease them, but let the kid down the street throw a rock and hit one...

Everything you need to know about the four branches of the military (sorry Coasties) can be learned from how the members respond to one command: "SECURE THAT BUILDING!"

 

MARINES: Will send in an infantry squad using well executed CQB tactics "neutralizing" all threats inside.
ARMY: Will set up concertina wire, place sandbags and firing positions, emplace crew served weapons and coordinate with artillery.
NAVY: Will make sure all the lights are off and the doors are locked.
AIR FORCE: Will take out a ten year lease with an option to buy.

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3 hours ago, DocWard said:

Everything you need to know about the four branches of the military (sorry Coasties) can be learned from how the members respond to one command: "SECURE THAT BUILDING!"

 

MARINES: Will send in an infantry squad using well executed CQB tactics "neutralizing" all threats inside.
ARMY: Will set up concertina wire, place sandbags and firing positions, emplace crew served weapons and coordinate with artillery.
NAVY: Will make sure all the lights are off and the doors are locked.
AIR FORCE: Will take out a ten year lease with an option to buy

 

 

Every time I see that joke I think of the Rodney King Riots.

 

Marines from Camp Pendleton were seconded to the Los Angeles law enforcement agencies as back up and security.  Not long after they arrived some LEOs needed to enter a building, I don't recall if it was reported that a person was shooting from inside the building or if a man with a gun had gone into it, and told the Marines with them to cover them as they went in. Well....

after about ten seconds of suppressing fire it was explained to the Marines that the term has a slightly different meaning in law enforcement.

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34 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

Every time I see that joke I think of the Rodney King Riots.

 

Marines from Camp Pendleton were seconded to the Los Angeles law enforcement agencies as back up and security.  Not long after they arrived some LEOs needed to enter a building, I don't recall if it was reported that a person was shooting from inside the building or if a man with a gun had gone into it, and told the Marines with them to cover them as they went in. Well....

after about ten seconds of suppressing fire it was explained to the Marines that the term has a slightly different meaning in law enforcement.

I might be wrong, and there is no trace of it online, but the National Guard Commander in Buffalo had Jeep mounted Browning M2 Machineguns.  He told his troops to return fire with them if fired on by a sniper.  Purportedly took just once to send the message. 

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2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

Every time I see that joke I think of the Rodney King Riots.

 

Marines from Camp Pendleton were seconded to the Los Angeles law enforcement agencies as back up and security.  Not long after they arrived some LEOs needed to enter a building, I don't recall if it was reported that a person was shooting from inside the building or if a man with a gun had gone into it, and told the Marines with them to cover them as they went in. Well....

after about ten seconds of suppressing fire it was explained to the Marines that the term has a slightly different meaning in law enforcement.

 

1 hour ago, Rip Snorter said:

I might be wrong, and there is no trace of it online, but the National Guard Commander in Buffalo had Jeep mounted Browning M2 Machineguns.  He told his troops to return fire with them if fired on by a sniper.  Purportedly took just once to send the message. 


The National Guard in LA to help quash the riots had NO ammunition. True story. Turner’s Outdoorsman and B&B Sales offered them 30,000 rounds but they wouldn’t take it because they were not approved suppliers. 
 

 

Now on with the funny stuff. As if that isn’t funny enough. 

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