Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted December 29, 2021 Share Posted December 29, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted December 30, 2021 Share Posted December 30, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted December 30, 2021 Share Posted December 30, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted December 30, 2021 Share Posted December 30, 2021 3 minutes ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said: ................ or any warp-capable StarTrek vessel ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted December 30, 2021 Share Posted December 30, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted December 30, 2021 Share Posted December 30, 2021 8 minutes ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said: ............. did they all step on a Lego brick ....... ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted January 1, 2022 Share Posted January 1, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 1, 2022 Share Posted January 1, 2022 1 hour ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 1, 2022 Share Posted January 1, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 1, 2022 Share Posted January 1, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted January 3, 2022 Share Posted January 3, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 3, 2022 Author Share Posted January 3, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 3, 2022 Author Share Posted January 3, 2022 Might be safe to answer…then again… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 3, 2022 Author Share Posted January 3, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 4, 2022 Author Share Posted January 4, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 4, 2022 Author Share Posted January 4, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. 2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. 3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. 4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles. 5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late. 6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. 7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. 8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative. 9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers. 10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?" 11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing. 12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever. 13. I run like the winded. 14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on. 15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?" 16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery? 17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited. 18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east." 19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out. 20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops. 21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 A man wakes up after a heavy night of drinking, his head pounding. On the nightstand he sees a glass of water and two aspirin, and a note from his wife, saying "I had to be at work early, but breakfast is warming in the oven." Drinking the water and taking the aspirin, he slowly gets to his feet, seeing his bedroom door hanging from one hinge. His hand on his head, he staggers into the living room to see the glass coffee table broken. When he gets into the kitchen, he sees a rose on the table with another note, saying, "I'll make your favorite dinner when I get home, I love you." Confused, he looks around and sees his son with an amused look on his face. He asks for an explanation of last night when he arrived home. "You stumbled through the door, tripped over the chair and fell through the table and broke it. Mom helped you up and tried to get you to the bedroom, where you fell again, breaking the door. Then she put you to bed." The man looks stunned. "Jesus! So then why did she get me aspirin, make me breakfast and leave these notes?" His son shrugged, "When she tried to take your pants off, you started struggling and yelling, 'Get your hands off me! I'm a married man!'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 Jewish Quarterback The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.KABOOM!He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.KA-BLOOEY!Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.BULLS-EYE!"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother."Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!""I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says. "You are no longer my son!""I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans.""No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 5, 2022 Author Share Posted January 5, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 5, 2022 Author Share Posted January 5, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 6, 2022 Author Share Posted January 6, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted January 6, 2022 Author Share Posted January 6, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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