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Friday Humor - jump in and add some


Pat Riot

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1 hour ago, Null N. Void said:

 

Biden finally breaks down and visits a remote northern native village. With news crews following him around as they tour the place, Biden asks the chief if there was anything the people need.

"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor."

Biden whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days. Now what was the second problem?"

"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive."

Once again, Biden dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed for setting up a purification plant for your people.

Now what was that third problem?"

"We have no cellphone reception up here," the chief says.

Biden had a satellite phone.

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7 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Packages of meat are becomig smaller 53_n.jpg

Good for your cholesterol!

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50 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

This is joke #112 but many have not heard it.

 

A woman had identical twin boys, Juan and Amal.  She only carries one picture with her because if you seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

image.png.113ce7556b64f59aa6a97c2cedf8f529.png

 

 

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Yup,  "shared a lot of those"       Not fond memories       GW

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7 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

FB_IMG_1638415168097.jpg

It appears to be in a restaurant or specialty shop based on the blackboard menu on the back wall.

Hopefully it's an Ice Cream Parlor. ;)

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A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The young man answered, "Yeah, heaps mate, I was a salesman back in Oz."
The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you make today?"
The Aussie said "One."
The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Here in Harrods, our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"£108,637.64", the Aussie replied.
The manager choked and exclaimed "£108,637.64? What the hell did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so took him down to Harrods car sales and I sold him a Cayenne "The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4wheeldrive?"
"No, no, no...he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said..."Well, since your weekend's not gonna' be much, you might as well go fishing.

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