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Friday Humor - jump in and add some


Pat Riot

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40 minutes ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

 

Their cousin is the moron who buys a home next to a public gun range, then complains about the noise and posts their "safety concerns" to the city council to get it shut down. :angry:

We actually had a Real Estate Broker do that in Illinois to us at the Williamson County Gun Club. Bought her house, then tried to get it shut down for noise pollution. Thankfully, it was Southern Illinois and the Judge threw her case out and chewed her out for being wither stupid or arrogant!

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6 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

 

Their cousin is the moron who buys a home next to a public gun range, then complains about the noise and posts their "safety concerns" to the city council to get it shut down. :angry:

 

6 hours ago, DeaconKC said:

We actually had a Real Estate Broker do that in Illinois to us at the Williamson County Gun Club. Bought her house, then tried to get it shut down for noise pollution. Thankfully, it was Southern Illinois and the Judge threw her case out and chewed her out for being wither stupid or arrogant!


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I had a couple of confusions with that flight attendant story.

 

First one is the crazy guy had a pack of Marlboro cigarettes, four shots of everclear alcohol, and - regret???

 

The second question is where did the role ROLL of duct tape come from? Do flight attendants generally carry a roll of duct tape?

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14 minutes ago, Alpo said:

The second question is where did the role ROLL of duct tape come from? Do flight attendants generally carry a roll of duct tape?

 

Based on some of the "real" news I have read lately zip tie handcuffs and a roll of tape are carried on all flights for the crew to use on unruly passengers.

 

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Moshe was sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig and menacingly says,

“Thanks Jew Boy, whatcha going to do about it?"

Moshe burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying.

What’s your problem?"

"This is the worst day of my life," Moshe says. "I'm a complete failure. “I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. “When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. "I left my wallet in the cab I took home. “I found my wife in bed with the postman and then my dog bit me. “So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

“I buy a drink; drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve;
 

 

 

 

then you show up and drink the whole thing!



“But enough about me, how's your day going?"

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Some of y'all may want to share this with the preacher this mornin...
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I’d feed him.”
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, “Well, I’m not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn’t feed him all the hay.”
~Robert~
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