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Guess I got the coach mad


Trigger Mike

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As you know i have not been happy about the football coach keeping the team sometimes an hour late for practice repeatedly.   He says I am to get my oldest there at 550am Thursday morning but will have time to get him home for a shower only he wanted to keep him an extra 15 minutes to give a biscuit but if he does that he can't get him and shower and back for school.   He let a symptomatic student play and the team got quarantined.  

 

I had enough and went to get my son from practice and 20 minutes past the time he gave in his weekly email they showed no signs of stopping.  

 

I walked onto the back end of the practice field and asked a coach how much longer and he curtly replied they were not done yet.  My son came up and the main coach and I told him he was late and how much longer. He said a while but I could have my son if I needed him.   I said I do.  

 

As I walked away he called.to me and said parents are not allowed on the practice field.  Said I didn't know.  It was in the orientation I missed and the packet.  Then he began to address how he requires him to stay for breakfast,  I said your text didn't mention that.  He went on about the family needs to be committed to football and decide if we were going to be and he keeps him as long as he needs him or he will miss playing time.  

 

I said I am operating on your email,  whether 530 pm or 550 pm , once your time is up, its up.  So he said he won't send an end time anymore then.  

 

I then told him that this Thursday which is  a school holiday he will not be there for the 550 am.  He didn’t turn in 4 homework assignments.   The coach said some.more that missed practice means missed playing time.  He added in a couple more times hiw we need to be committed as a family.   

 

I later sent a follow-up email and told him again I didn't know about not being allowed on the field and that it won't happen again unless warranted by an emergency.   I added i was glad he told my son missing practice means missing play time as it might motivate him to do better with his school work.  

 

Meanwhile a teammate was on the sidelines of practice with his neck in a brace from being hurt in the neck the second time in football.   I thought the kid should stay home.   Since.my son got hurt himself in the same game from the same play of a block in the back, I don't care if he ever plays.

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I have to say, unless there was some compelling reason, I would simply pull my son. Once school work starts suffering, injuries start happening, and the coach shows no respect for players or parents, then it is time to play the trump card.

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26 minutes ago, DocWard said:

I have to say, unless there was some compelling reason, I would simply pull my son. Once school work starts suffering, injuries start happening, and the coach shows no respect for players or parents, then it is time to play the trump card.

I'm with Doc Ward. Unless your son has an undying love for the game, or the possibility of a scholarship, his education of important things should come first. 

For the record, sports is NOT important.

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He loves the sport but is good at recess but not so good in  a real game.  He was too lazy to study the playbook, even though I kept stressing him too.  His younger brother also plays but has a better attitude but they don't play him much either, even when I meet their requirements that week.   Once I picked up they don't value my time or my son's time I stopped caring about what they want.  My youngest has 2 more games and he is done, he is starting to get it, that they disregard his efforts and time.  His oldest thinks he is great but its my fault he can't be great at football.   That attitude got him taken off the shotgun team this year by me.  

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If a coach or a teacher cannot perform in the allotted time they are at fault. If they do it obnoxiously or on purpose they are an ass and need to be put in check, either by you or someone that controls their paycheck. 
 

Sports s not the reason for school or education. Sports is a side benefit, if it’s a benefit at all. 
 

2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Just my opinion of course, coaches tend to be control freaks. If they can’t control someone they don’t want him.

Agreed. I do not tolerate manipulators snd control freaks well. 
 

Years ago my daughter’s track coach acted similar to TM’s son’s football coach. This guy even disregarded my daughters heart condition and forced her to run laps as punishment for being late to practice. He and I had a short but very educational, for him, discussion in the parking lot that day. It never happened again. 

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3 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

Sports s not the reason for school or education. Sports is a side benefit, if it’s a benefit at all. 

I couldn't have said it better. But the way most people act, you would think just the opposite.:D Especially at the collage level.:huh: I've seen shooters pack up and leave a shoot early because there was a U of A game on.:angry:

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Last night my youngest son went an hour and a half away for a middle school game and they did not play him at all.  It seems the coach told him he had lied to him.  

 

On Wednesday I had told my son to skip practice because he had failed 2 test in a class making his grade a  "c".  U let the main coach know..  Another coach saw him and told him to get to the weight room and lift weights for football.   He tried to tell him what his father said and he cut him off and ordered him to go.  He went, and turned around and went to the office to wait for his sister to get out of class to bring him home.  The coach called it a lie because later the coach asked him about it and he said he went and left but the coach said it was a lie, so he didn't play at all. I praised him for obeying his father over a coach.  

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The coach evidently got a hold of the headmaster ahead of me as one day I  brought a case of bleach for the school to clean with and the coach was in the parking lot talking to the headmaster and the headmaster approached me and asked if I had a problem,  I said no, I'm donating some bleach since your emails notifying us of another sick child mention you will sanitize everything.   The headmaster was ready and angry all ready, hoping for me to say something so I knew he was going to defend the coach.  I had noticed at the game the night before he refused to look at me as I walked by, so evidently the coach thought I would complain about him and presented his narrative. 

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First of all, and vitally important, is this coach and those at the other schools taking proper precautions about testing for the COVID-19 virus?  If not, then you need to contact the school district superintendent, possibly with your lawyer in tow.

Second, you may have to put your foot down, even if it means your older son "hating" you for it, and tell him he has to get his grades up to at least "C's".  An injury can be career ending in sports, or worse (that kid with two neck injuries could be risking paralysis).  But education will take him well down the road, even if he became an NFL star.

Best of luck!

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Adults living their lives vicariously through children, enforcing expectations and results they themselves can’t live up to. I was very strong in the weight room in high school ( benched 305, squatted around 500 and could incline sled 800 lbs 3 sets of 8, I could dip 3 sets of 8 with 90 lbs-295 # total-added weight on a chain belt) and ran a 4.5 sec 40 yard dash at 6’2” 200 lbs. Coaches wanted me to play but I figured out real quick that though the community came together for the team, the coaches are in it to keep their jobs and advance to bigger name programs. I could just as easily get a job, get paid and commended for a good job rather than run sprints for a few mistakes.

All in all I sucked in organized sports for lack of drive and and passion for the game.

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On 10/9/2020 at 5:16 AM, Trigger Mike said:

Last night my youngest son went an hour and a half away for a middle school game and they did not play him at all.  It seems the coach told him he had lied to him.  

 

On Wednesday I had told my son to skip practice because he had failed 2 test in a class making his grade a  "c".  U let the main coach know..  Another coach saw him and told him to get to the weight room and lift weights for football.   He tried to tell him what his father said and he cut him off and ordered him to go.  He went, and turned around and went to the office to wait for his sister to get out of class to bring him home.  The coach called it a lie because later the coach asked him about it and he said he went and left but the coach said it was a lie, so he didn't play at all. I praised him for obeying his father over a coach.  

 

You need to go to the admin, and if necessary to the district superintendent, or higher and get those coaches fired.

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Since it is a private school and the headmaster already came to me wanting to know if I have a problem,  I opted to let the guy i buy tractors from , who is on the board,, know I tried to give the coach 4k to help him meet the virus guidelines he was violating and was turned down and then offered to buy a freezer for the concessions stand to sell ice cream because a teacher wished they had one, and was ignored. 

 

He said he had not heard I had made those offers and would have the headmaster call me to arrange for me to help with a need for the school.   In my messages I mentioned why I offered the items.  

 

Meanwhile they lose each game by at least 40 points.  55 to zero last night.  

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Reading this thread, the only thing I've seen the coach do that I approve of was to turn down the $4,000. It shows that he has at least walking about sense.

 

If I was a coach and one of my kids's parents offered me four grand, I would assume that it was a bribe to get their kid on first string, and when I did not make him a starter (since he is third string material) the parent would go to the principal with the canceled check screaming that he had paid for me to make his kid the starting quarterback.

 

While I don't know if that maneuver would do anything good for the parent, it would most certainly get me fired, and blackballed from coaching.

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2 hours ago, Alpo said:

Reading this thread, the only thing I've seen the coach do that I approve of was to turn down the $4,000. It shows that he has at least walking about sense.

 

If I was a coach and one of my kids's parents offered me four grand, I would assume that it was a bribe to get their kid on first string, and when I did not make him a starter (since he is third string material) the parent would go to the principal with the canceled check screaming that he had paid for me to make his kid the starting quarterback.

 

While I don't know if that maneuver would do anything good for the parent, it would most certainly get me fired, and blackballed from coaching.

I figured he might think that but I also told him I don't care if he plays or not as education is more important,  but since the coach didn't want it for his program to help him meet the virus standards I am offering it to the school which has multiple fund raisers as attendance is down due to the virus and other factors.   While I am not worried about the virus, if the school fails to meet health standards set by local doctors they will get shut down and kids sent home.  I don't want that.  I told the coach I would give him what he needed to keep the team from going into quarantine and instead they went into quarantine when he played a symptomatic kid and they all went into the weight room together without mask, despite school rules for the virus. 

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It seems to be a requirement that high school coaches have to be assholes.  It was the case when I was in high school.

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Like most of us, I've known a number of people who really drove their kids in sports with the dream of making the pros someday.  Often at the expense of academic pursuits.  I suspect the ROI on academics would have been higher.

 

This is from about four years ago, but the numbers are undoubtedly still close:

 

              Asset2_Success_QA (1)

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In the mid-70s, high school funds would go to boy’s football and baseball.  Girl’s teams and band had to bust tooshy to raise money with candy sales and other fund-raising activities.  Meanwhile football players had their own gym, weight room, physical therapist, vending machines...

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Speaking of my sons playing,  since they refuse to study the playbook, watching them play reminds me of the new puppy we got.  All excited about playing,  run in circles. Sometimes trips up, has no clue what is going on just glad to be playing.   I don't foresee a scholarship from football. 

 

Also when they do play they complain about the hurt back and dislocated shoulder.

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