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This Explains A Lot


Subdeacon Joe

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Miners working for Starbucks have confirmed an exciting discovery: vast swathes of pumpkin spice buried deep beneath the earth, just under the coffee company’s Seattle headquarters.

 

 

“We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.”

“He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint.

At publishing time, spice harvester crews had discovered ample deposits of peppermint mocha.

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9 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

“We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.”

“He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint.


Dune...;)

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Starbucks = House Harkonnen, explains a lot...

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37 minutes ago, DeaconKC said:

Starbucks = House Harkonnen, explains a lot...

 

Absolutely perfect.

 

And here I was thinking that I was the only closet Dune fanatic out there...

 

Does that make Amazon the Guild?

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6 minutes ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

That's strange, I thought the only things you'd find in Seattle were used needles, bags of weed and pro-communist literature?

 

You misspelled San Francisco. 

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