Subdeacon Joe Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Miners working for Starbucks have confirmed an exciting discovery: vast swathes of pumpkin spice buried deep beneath the earth, just under the coffee company’s Seattle headquarters. “We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.” “He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint. At publishing time, spice harvester crews had discovered ample deposits of peppermint mocha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Hmmmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 16-45, they lie about their age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 9 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: “We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.” “He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint. Dune... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozark Shark Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 22, 2020 Author Share Posted September 22, 2020 1 hour ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: Dune... Dow-Dune average. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Starbucks = House Harkonnen, explains a lot... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adolph Vancinghand, SASS #28923 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 37 minutes ago, DeaconKC said: Starbucks = House Harkonnen, explains a lot... Absolutely perfect. And here I was thinking that I was the only closet Dune fanatic out there... Does that make Amazon the Guild? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 That's strange, I thought the only things you'd find in Seattle were used needles, bags of weed and pro-communist literature? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 22, 2020 Author Share Posted September 22, 2020 6 minutes ago, Sixgun Sheridan said: That's strange, I thought the only things you'd find in Seattle were used needles, bags of weed and pro-communist literature? You misspelled San Francisco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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