Tennessee williams Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 Y'all know why Widder can't fart loud? Cause he won't be quiet long enough to build up a good pressure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 Showing his feminine side? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 10 hours ago, Tennessee williams said: Y'all know why Widder can't fart loud? Cause he won't be quiet long enough to build up a good pressure! I use a Cpap machine to help me breath while sleeping. Anyone who uses one knows that it can build up a little air in your system. Ya oughta hear me in the mornings. Sounds like I'm playing 'Marching thru Georgia' on a trumpet. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Widder I too use a CPAP. The object is to BREATH the air, not swallow it. No wonder you play a tuba symphony Imis and TW has hiccups from too many nanner splits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Sounds like you are saying Widder is full of hot air Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Hey Imis. Truth be known, all this stuff that TN puts on the Wire is basically hisowndang life experiences. Have you ever noticed that when you hear him passing gas........... his lips start flapping. He actually wrote a hit song for the 'Bangles' back a few years ago. It was titled..... "Just Another Nanner Monday", but they changed it to "Just Another Manic Monday" to help sales. True Story. Hey, I don't make this stuff up. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 5 minutes ago, Perro Del Diablo said: Sounds like you are saying Widder is full of hot air Theres a good reason I have been invited to all the hot air ballon events..... But, unlike TN Williams, I don't have to carry a 20 pound magnet in my back pocket to help keep me from floating away. TN WILLIAMS..... Poster Boy for the Helium experience! ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 23 hours ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said: Showing his feminine side? There's a image I didn't need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 8, 2020 Author Share Posted July 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said: There's a image I didn't need. That's an image nobody needs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 8, 2020 Author Share Posted July 8, 2020 That reminds me of the time Widder bout got in to a fight at a big high fallutin' party. In his defense, he didn't want to go to start with but his wife made him anyway. She won't make that mistake again. Anyhow, Widder was walking across the room to the buffet to see what they had. He passed by a table with a bunch of suits sitting around it eating. He let out one of those big gurgling jobs. Immediately a feller all decked out jumps up from the table and says, "how dare you flatulate in front of my wife!" Well ole Widder never missed a beat and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was her turn." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 bwaaaaaahhhaaaaahahahahhaaaaa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Wheeler Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 16 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: I use a Cpap machine to help me breath while sleeping. Anyone who uses one knows that it can build up a little air in your system. Ya oughta hear me in the mornings. Sounds like I'm playing 'Marching thru Georgia' on a trumpet. ..........Widder Yeah, but when your dog rips one in the middle of the night, right next to the air intake of your CPAP machine, let me tell ya, it will wake you up in an instant and make your eyes water! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Tennessee williams said: That reminds me of the time Widder bout got in to a fight at a big high fallutin' party. In his defense, he didn't want to go to start with but his wife made him anyway. She won't make that mistake again. Anyhow, Widder was walking across the room to the buffet to see what they had. He passed by a table with a bunch of suits sitting around it eating. He let out one of those big gurgling jobs. Immediately a feller all decked out jumps up from the table and says, "how dare you flatulate in front of my wife!" Well ole Widder never missed a beat and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was her turn." What I actually said was...... "Well Excuuuuuuuuse me. I didn't realize it was her turn". Ole Bazooka Butt still can't tell that story right. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickamauga Slim Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 deleted ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Badly Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 Dang, I requested to be on a posse with those two at the state match. Guess I better take a mask and a bottle of poo-pourri. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Badly Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 My wife bought me this for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickamauga Slim Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 3 hours ago, Mister Badly said: Dang, I requested to be on a posse with those two at the state match. Guess I better take a mask and a bottle of poo-pourri. Mr. Big & Badly, A cold bottle of Diet Pepsi will suffice for me, along with a good hot dog with mustard and chili. TN Williams will take a Dr.Pepper with a hotdog with a dob of Mayonnaise on it. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Badly Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 Just to be clear, the timer operator has never said "pooter ready" to me on the line. I can neither confirm nor deny it has happened to others on this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 58 minutes ago, Mister Badly said: Just to be clear, the timer operator has never said "pooter ready" to me on the line. I can neither confirm nor deny it has happened to others on this post. With my hearing (or the lack thereof), I have no idea what the TO says to me. After I say my line, I just hope I hear 'something' that sounds like "Standby" and then the "BEEP". Thats why I normally ask for a 'test beep' at my left ear at the start of each day. For the record, TN Williams makes all this stuff up. He makes it up about his new truck, his local farm and the ranch in Wyoming. Says he's got lots of money and owns a 'cat' house in Nevada...... while I know for a fact that he's allergic to cats. But he does have some pet goats and dogs. And of course, he kilt a big snake one time..... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 54 minutes ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: With my hearing (or the lack thereof), I have no idea what the TO says to me. After I say my line, I just hope I hear 'something' that sounds like "Standby" and then the "BEEP". Thats why I normally ask for a 'test beep' at my left ear at the start of each day. For the record, TN Williams makes all this stuff up. He makes it up about his new truck, his local farm and the ranch in Wyoming. Says he's got lots of money and owns a 'cat' house in Nevada...... while I know for a fact that he's allergic to cats. But he does have some pet goats and dogs. And of course, he kilt a big snake one time..... ..........Widder How big was that snake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Rich Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 I'm not sure but it stretched from here to there so it musta been big. kR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 The 1st TN told the story, the snake was about 48" long. Then later, it was 55" long. Last I heard, it was 70+" long. Come October, it will probably be about 80" when he talks about it at the TN State. Ya'll need to come listen and hear what tall tale he might muster up by then. Hey, did you hear about the one where he cut a 1/4" rope with 1 shot from a derringer at about 50'. Well............ here's the rest of the story: TN glued some long pieces of 1/4" ROTTEN rope to a 2x4. And ALL the pieces were hung next to one another touching. All he had to do was shoot amongst those hanging pieces of rope and there was NO WAY any of those pieces wouldn't get hit. He don't tell that part of the story. He only tells about hitting that 1 pieces of rope at 50' with a derringer..... It ain't exactly a lie, but it does fall a few feet short of the whole truth. Hey, I don't make this stuff up. P.S. - don't be surprised if one of the stories for the State stages is about TN and his glory days of wrestling alligators and catching giant rattlesnakes. Truth be known, all he ever did was win a contest catching 'lighting bugs' in a jar one summer night. And the first Nanner Split he ever eat was free because he caught a 'june bug' once, tied a small string to its leg and it flew longer than the other june bugs. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 On 7/7/2020 at 10:35 PM, Widder, SASS #59054 said: I use a Cpap machine to help me breath while sleeping. Anyone who uses one knows that it can build up a little air in your system. Ya oughta hear me in the mornings. Sounds like I'm playing 'Marching thru Georgia' on a trumpet. ..........Widder I use a CPAP too. I'm thinking you might be hooking it up wrong. 9 minutes ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: The 1st TN told the story, the snake was about 48" long. Then later, it was 55" long. Last I heard, it was 70+" long. Come October, it will probably be about 80" when he talks about it at the TN State. Ya'll need to come listen and hear what tall tale he might muster up by then. Reminds me of true story. I was fishing with my dad on a dock one evening and a bunch of crappie started schooling around the dock. We caught a pretty good sized white crappie. I can't remember how big it was anymore, but I'm thinking about 12 inches. A couple of people came down to see it and before long we started getting people saying "I heard you caught a 13" crappie". We kept showing them the fish and let them know the real measurement. Once the fishing died down my dad said "watch this" and cleaned and filleted everything we had caught so far. People kept coming down and saying "We heard you caught a 13" crappie" and we showed them the fillets and told them the real measurement. Then more people would come down wanting to see the 14" crappie, and the 15" crappie. We kept telling them the truth but the sucker kept growing anyway. We had friends who lived on the other side of the cove and we learned from them the next week that someone on our side of the cove had caught an 18" crappie that very same night! That was the lesson for the day; Once a critter get to a certain size, he'll grow a lot faster after his death than he ever could have alive. The quicker you carve him up the faster he grows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 9, 2020 Author Share Posted July 9, 2020 6 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: with a dob of Mayonnaise on it. ..........Widder That's just nasty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 9, 2020 Author Share Posted July 9, 2020 10 hours ago, Mister Badly said: My wife bought me this for some reason. Thats rough drinking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 It is a "tasting." Swish the poo-pouri around in your mouth and then spit it out. Think mouthwash, not beer guzzleing. Uncultured bumkins Imis I have noticed the first liar has no chance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Badly Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 It's a spray. Like Binaca. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Reading this thread, and all I can think of is I don't know where I left my hip boots, and the first poster don't have a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 16 minutes ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said: Reading this thread, and all I can think of is I don't know where I left my hip boots, and the first poster don't have a chance. I started wearing my boots when i first read this post. Then got a step stool had to step up to a chair until now I'm on an 8 ft step ladder and the tide is still rising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 18 hours ago, Mister Badly said: It's a spray. Like Binaca. I have two bottles on my crapper too. One is cherry, the other is nanner split scent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 3 hours ago, Perro Del Diablo said: I started wearing my boots when i first read this post. Then got a step stool had to step up to a chair until now I'm on an 8 ft step ladder and the tide is still rising. Greenhorn. Always start out in a boat when dealing with Widder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krazy Kajun Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 7 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said: Greenhorn. Always start out in a boat when dealing with Widder. Paddle wheel or tug? Kajun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 20 minutes ago, Krazy Kajun said: Paddle wheel or tug? Kajun Sounds like frieghter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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