Tennessee williams Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I keep a few good insults handy for when Widder or people at work act up. Do yall have some on stand by? I aint saying you're stupid, you just have bad luck when you're thinking. You got so much hair, when you walk your dog, folks pet you first. I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is on overtime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I see your reality check bounced. You ever consider thinking? You're not useless. You make a perfectly good horrible example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 You might have the desire to understand what I’m telling you but you don’t have the ability to understand what I’m telling you. If I wanted to hear you bitch I would have married you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaleWolf Brunelle, #2495L Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 18 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said: I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. I'm stealing that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Did your folks have any kids that lived?? I see you left your brain at home!! Are you under a doctor’s care??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cowboy Small Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I understand you and the Bunkhouse Boss have been married 30 years. She told me its the best 4 years of her life. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Old Man Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 _____ You and the horse you rode in on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I was angry yesterday and came up with one out of the blue that will be added to my repertoire. "He couldn't find his [rear end] with both hands if you spotted him the first hand." Others include: "Why are you wasting my oxygen?" along with a few variations. "You're not the brightest bowling ball in the tool shed, are you?" "If you were any dumber, they wouldn't feed you, they'd fertilize you." "Do us all a favor and just stop talking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHOOTIN FOX Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Does it tingle before you do something stupid or just whosh over you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 If I had known this was gonna be a test I would have recorded all the ones said to me. Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hashknife Cowboy Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Were your parents related? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 My favorite is by the Original Lumpy Grits who is absent here for some reason. 'Having you along is like losing two good men!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkey Flats Jack Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Well bless your heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Null N. Void Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Are you naturally this stupid or do you practice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Hashknife Cowboy said: Were your parents related? Yeah, first cousins, but there's nothing wrong with me with me with me with me...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I told a woman in a parking lot that just because she was blond didn't mean there was law saying she had to be stupid. She just looked at me and said, "Huh?" Some people are great ads for retroactive birth control. A surprising number are elected officials. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Cross, SASS #13848 L Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 A lot of good starting lines here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I have a special reply to obvious lines of BS!! ”Yeah!! And my @$$ is a Chinese typewriter!!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 One I use on Widder quite regularly is "If you were any slower you'd need watering"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 24 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said: One I use on Widder quite regularly is "If you were any slower you'd need watering"! When a feller has to pick on me just to make hisowndangself look better, then he is already in a bad way. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I used to have a fairly decent library of “put downs” and insults, but I seem to have resorted to one word insults over time, like; Morons, Idiots, Dumbasses, Bureaucrats, Pinheads, Knuckleheads, etc... One word works, besides, they aren’t smart enough to retain any more than 3 syllables, tops! Calling “them” Mouth-breathers is about all they can handle. And don’t ever mention the word “syllables” around these folks. If they find out what it means they get really P.O.’d. It’s because they try to count syllables and listen at he same time...Bless their hearts. Drives ‘em nuts! Poor dumb bastages... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tequila Shooter Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 When I was in the Navy I used quite a few since I was usually dealing with younger, junior folks. Like: Use that lump of $h1t 3 feet above your a$$ for something besides holding your hat. If they started with "Hey..." I'd quickly say Hay is the first step of horse$h1t, you want to continue this conversation. Did you swallow your chemistry set as a kid. Your a poster child for birth control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: When a feller has to pick on me just to make hisowndangself look better, then he is already in a bad way. ..........Widder We're not picking ON you Widder. We are picking WITH you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 48 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said: We're not picking ON you Widder. We are picking WITH you. But I'm a nice guy. One who sits quietly at the keyboard and spreads compliments and good tidings to all my Wire Pards. I'm even nice to all the lame brain knuckle headed idiots who never heed my advice..... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Painted Mohawk SASS 77785 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 Curiously asking a person I don't have much time for... So how tall are you anyway..they answer with their height 6'5'' or whatever it may be , why they ask ? Oh I didn't know they stacked s##t that high ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Old Man Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 Dumber than a steel wheeled rake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Bill Burt Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 I wouldn't cross the street to piss on your head if it was on fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 You flunked kindergarten, didn't you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Smoken D said: You flunked kindergarten, didn't you. She was valedictorian in a class of ONE. ..........WIdder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted May 14, 2020 Author Share Posted May 14, 2020 I gained so much weight during the quarantine, I walked in front of the TV and my wife missed 2 episodes of Andy Griffith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted May 14, 2020 Author Share Posted May 14, 2020 You're uglier than a sackful of fried buttholes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted May 14, 2020 Author Share Posted May 14, 2020 You have mint breath. Mint to brush your teeth and forgot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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