Yul Lose Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 There is a woman that lives down the road about a mile with her husband. They both drive Tesla’s and are what I call environmental freaks. Every year when we have our first fire in the wood stove she’ll come by and tell me how much damage I’m doing to the environment, yada, yada. When I start up my smoker and she sees the smoke she’ll come over and investigate. I try to be nice but lately her unannounced visits are becoming a nuisance. A couple of times over the last few weeks I’ll be working in the shop and turn around and she’ll be standing in the doorway. She jogs up and down the road in front of the house and if she hears my shop equipment running she’ll come over to see what I’m building. She’s very complimentary except for her criticism of me using hardwoods instead of pallet wood or bamboo for my projects. Yesterday I told her that I didn’t really like her coming around, she has never came by when my wife is home, and please stop with the unannounced visits. Time will tell if it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 If she dares to come back.......just show her how your Lichtenberg wood burning equipment works. Have here stand close, real close....just so she can see how it REALLY works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Wheeler Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 One of these might work too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Just put up a sign on your shop door that says something like: See the famous Yul Lose perform his Woodworking magic. Front row seats, $45. Standing room in the rear, $35. Please silence your cell phones and remain silent during the performance. Autographs may be available after the performance for a small fee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Yul, face it, she's got the HOTS for you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 You’re being flirted with. May have been a while since that happened, but she’s definitely got more than woodworking on her mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc X Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Build up an old west style casket from pallet wood and leave the end off. Next time she stops by you can say, "Oh good! You're here, I just need a couple more measurements." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Pictures (or it never happened)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tex Jones, SASS 2263 Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Yul Lose: Wood worker extraordinaire, chick magnet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 At least tell us that she left the donut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted May 7, 2020 Author Share Posted May 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Charlie Harley, #14153 said: You’re being flirted with. May have been a while since that happened, but she’s definitely got more than woodworking on her mind. I’m not really into sweaty wimmen and I doubt I’d survive the ass whipping Mrs. Lose would administer when she found out about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Post 'No Trespassing' sign, and if she shows up again, tell her you have her on video and will call po-po to cite her. If you have a lawyer friend. Ask this lawyer to send the person a 'knock it off' letter. Also, you could reaim your sprinklers to cover where she stands. OLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Brules Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YUL?!! Can’t you tell when a woman is trying to get in your pants?!! Cat Brules Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Hey, you should see this! I made it from the last surviving Chestnut in eastern America! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Bill Burt Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 3 hours ago, Charlie Harley, #14153 said: You’re being flirted with. May have been a while since that happened, but she’s definitely got more than woodworking on her mind. I think wood working is exactly what she has on her mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Eye Jake Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 My neighbor has a driveway which is about an 1/8 mile long and often times people think it's a county road. So he put up these signs: First sign. Prayer is one way to meet your maker. Trespassing is faster Second sign. Turn around NOW! It has greatly reduced people driving into his yard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED. My favorite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Brules Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 SIGN: “Trespassers, Survivors, Shot” Cat Brules Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 I guess I'm not the only one who thought the strangest part of that story was that she never comes round when Mrs lose is home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Four-Eyed Buck,SASS #14795 Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 Yup, face it, you're a chick magnet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 4 hours ago, Michigan Slim said: TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED. My favorite. That might just be the idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 Just now, DocWard said: That might just be the idea I thought that later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cholla Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 I am sure if you did some research you could find all sorts of non-environmentally friendly things that go into a Tesla. There has to be some rare-earth metals somehow, that often come from China, which we all know is one of the most environmentally aware countries on earth. You could tell her that her running shoes were most likely made by slave labor in China. Or you could tell her that many of the woods you use could cause respiratory complications and that you feel she shouldn't come over any more for her own safety. Flying a Trump flag might also make her not come over. Or you could blare conservative talk radio and have Fox news playing on the TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 Start wearing one of your revolvers around the shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-BAR #18287 Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 Just take a photo of her standing in your shop, and then tell her if she ever steps onto your property again you will show the photo her husband. And if that doesn’t work show it to your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hells Comin Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 She's just checking out your Wood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Chance Morgun Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 Honey, she followed me home. Can I keep her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 10 hours ago, Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 said: Just put up a sign on your shop door that says something like: See the famous Yul Lose perform his Woodworking magic. Front row seats, $45. Standing room in the rear, $35. Please silence your cell phones and remain silent during the performance. Autographs may be available after the performance for a small fee. Inspiring conversation with the woodworker by appointment only, $100/10 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 I think Yul must have been leading her on. Now he's turning his back on her. The dog. Toying with her affections that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Bill Burt Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 The least you could do is show her a little skin Yul. Give her something to think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 14 hours ago, DocWard said: That might just be the idea Or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 She’s a tree hugger. You’re not. Shame on you. You’re a bad boy. Some women like bad boys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 13 hours ago, Hells Comin said: She's just checking out your Wood. You have no idea how glad I am that I had just set my coffee cup down when I read that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Wheeler Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 14 hours ago, Cholla said: I am sure if you did some research you could find all sorts of non-environmentally friendly things that go into a Tesla. I think the most obvious topic to discuss with her is, how do they generate the electricity to CHARGE that TESLA. In many places in the country, they BURN fossil fuel! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cholla Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 25 minutes ago, Dutch Wheeler said: I think the most obvious topic to discuss with her is, how do they generate the electricity to CHARGE that TESLA. In many places in the country, they BURN fossil fuel! Burn, block fish migration, create nuke waste, create carbon waste. There's so much to complain about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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