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Alpo

When speaking of your spouse

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When you are talking to your children, and you are talking about your spouse, how do you refer to him or her?

 

When Daddy was talking to Mama, he called her Shirley. When he was talking to us about Mama, he called her Mama.

 

When I grew up and got married I did the same thing. Called her Sara, and referred to her as Mama.

 

Comic strip I was reading the other day, and a distant relative was coming to visit. The mother is explaining who the relative is to the little girl. "She's John's cousin." John is the father. So the mother called the father by his name when talking to the daughter. That just read so weird to me.

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But then, there was a Happy Days episode where little ten-year-old Joanie was going to bed and she kissed Howard goodnight. On the lips. That shocked me greatly. When I was little and kissed my parents goodnight, it was on the cheek. Mouth-to-mouth kissing was a romantic kiss. Not a paternal kiss.

 

So maybe I was just raised wrong. :rolleyes:

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When talking to my kids, I've always referred to Mrs. Doc as "Mom" or "Your Mom."

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Your mom or momma.

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Not really sure when I became aware that Mom had a first name.

After commissioning we had a social. Per protocol, in the reception line, I introduced my parents to the commanding officer as Robert and Helen. Felt really weird. 

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I never referred o my parents or grandparents by their Christian names.  Grandpa/Grandma, Mom and Dad.  It was our custom to kiss my Grandparents and mom and dad on the forehead when we visited as a sign of affection and respect and left. My children kiss my forehead, grand kids give hugs.. Oh well.

Wife referred to her mom as Baba and grandmother as Paupau  (might be a village dialect thing). All the relatives had titles that identified their relationship - really hard to remember all of them.

 

STL Suomi

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My parents were always mom and dad. My ex called her parents by their first names which was weird 

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1 hour ago, St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 said:

All the relatives had titles that identified their relationship - really hard to remember all of them.

Finnish, right?

 

Heinlein's Citizen of the Galaxy, the hero is on a ship where they speak Finnish. It said that unlike our "uncle and aunt", or even the Scandinavian "mother's brother and father's sister", with one term they could identify something like "fathers sister's husband's eldest son by his first marriage".

 

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54 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Finnish, right?

 

Heinlein's Citizen of the Galaxy, the hero is on a ship where they speak Finnish. It said that unlike our "uncle and aunt", or even the Scandinavian "mother's brother and father's sister", with one term they could identify something like "fathers sister's husband's eldest son by his first marriage".

 

Reminds me of Navajo.

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3 hours ago, Alpo said:

Finnish, right?

 

Heinlein's Citizen of the Galaxy, the hero is on a ship where they speak Finnish. It said that unlike our "uncle and aunt", or even the Scandinavian "mother's brother and father's sister", with one term they could identify something like "fathers sister's husband's eldest son by his first marriage".

 

Finnish does have that capability - it is an agglutinative language - take a base word and add ending to  further define the base  - in my wife's case it is Chinese (Guangdong village dialect)

TL Suomi

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I always use "your mom" with my daughter.  I make it a point not to refer to her by name because that's how my family did it with all of our elders (other than aunts and uncles because there were so many).  I'm not sure how old I was when I first learned my mom's name.  I recall getting phone calls for her and having to ask the entire house if we knew the person.  I learned my dad's name when he started taking me around on sales calls one summer.  For me and my sister, most of our friends called them mom and dad cause that's how we introduced them, and conversely, we called most of our friends parents mom and dad for the same reason.  Thinking back, the only time I called the parent of a friend "Mrs Johnson" or similar was when they introduced themselves. 

 

My wife and daughter came as a package deal and the girl was a teenager when we first met.  So my wife and daughter usually use my christian name when they speak of me.  I do like it when the girl 'slips' and calls me dad though.  I'm lucky she hasn't realized what a sucker I am. 

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Somehow or other, I don't remember how, my wife became Yo Momma when talking to the kids about her...

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To my kids, "yer mom" or "The Mom".
To adults, "My bride" or "The Sweetie", then introduce her by her first name.

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On 5/1/2020 at 10:26 AM, Utah Bob #35998 said:

Not really sure when I became aware that Mom had a first name.

I overheard Grandson #1 replying to next-door-neighbor (one week his junior):  Bobbie.  But her REAL name is Grandmom.

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I learned my mom's name real early because my dad, my grandparents, and her neighbors and friends called her by it, as was the custom in those days.

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