Loophole LaRue, SASS #51438 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 Worked in an auto parts supply store in MN when I was in school. We had a weekly flyer, which often advertised "Tailpipes starting at 99 cents". Of course, the only pipes that sold for that price were the little stubbies for a VW. Fellow came in one Saturday night, absolutely soused. Went on and on about needing a new tailpipe for his car. When asked, he told us he drove a late model Cadillac. We quoted him a price, and he immediately shouted back..."No. no! I want a 99 cent tailpipe, just like you advertise". No amount of explanation could convince him otherwise. So we sold him a 99 cent VW tailpipe for his Cadillac. He never brought it back. LL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loophole LaRue, SASS #51438 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 2 hours ago, DocWard said: I won't begin to get into the stupidity I've dealt with in the law. I'm shocked...absolutely shocked! LL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidekick Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Cypress Sun said: My boss stuck me with a "helper" for about a month who was indeed stupid. Took a whole 1/2 hour to figure that one out. He supposedly had two years in the electrical field, yeah right. Anyway, I gave him a demonstration on how to use a Tapcon fastening system, took about 15 minutes for him to try it and (supposedly) get it. I then took him to another building on the job where I had bent and installed electrical conduit stub ups on various wall....gave him a hammer drill, box of Tapcons, the Tapcon tool, a level and a bunch of 1 - hole straps. Told him to level and strap the pipe to the concrete block wall. I went back over to the other building to work aggravation free (so I thought) for an hour or so. Hammer drills are loud, so I can hear him drilling...for an hour....then another hour....then I start to wonder....hmm. I go back over to the other building but as I'm walking to the other building, he comes out of the building holding the box that the Tapcons came in and says......"These don't go in like they did for you". He then shows me a box of 100 MELTED Tapcons. Instant 200 over 150 blood pressure. Made him go sit in the truck for the rest of the day. Never worked with him again. I think I've had the same helper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Cypress Sun said: My boss stuck me with a "helper" for about a month who was indeed stupid. Took a whole 1/2 hour to figure that one out. He supposedly had two years in the electrical field, yeah right. Anyway, I gave him a demonstration on how to use a Tapcon fastening system, took about 15 minutes for him to try it and (supposedly) get it. I then took him to another building on the job where I had bent and installed electrical conduit stub ups on various wall....gave him a hammer drill, box of Tapcons, the Tapcon tool, a level and a bunch of 1 - hole straps. Told him to level and strap the pipe to the concrete block wall. I went back over to the other building to work aggravation free (so I thought) for an hour or so. Hammer drills are loud, so I can hear him drilling...for an hour....then another hour....then I start to wonder....hmm. I go back over to the other building but as I'm walking to the other building, he comes out of the building holding the box that the Tapcons came in and says......"These don't go in like they did for you". He then shows me a box of 100 MELTED Tapcons. Instant 200 over 150 blood pressure. Made him go sit in the truck for the rest of the day. Never worked with him again. Ask for help and they send opponents! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raylan Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 At an agency where I worked a client became physically violent and a fellow staff member yelled at the receptionist - "Call 911!" The receptionist paused then said, "What's the number for 911?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 14 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Once I called a hardware store to get directions. Got the directions and asked "Is the store on the north or south side of the street?" The lady who had given me the directions said "It depends on which way are coming" That actually sounds like something I'd say to someone when in one of my "wise-ass" moods. By the way ~ let's not forget the fact that intelligent people too can sometimes do stoopid things. Heck ~ not saying that I'm particularly intelligent, but I might have even been guilty of such once or twice in my life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 ... oh dear Lord ... I'm wiping wet streaks of laughter from my cheek bones ... this is funny ... and I have met these very folks ... including the car that careened around the ROAD CLOSED sawhorses and reflective signs, around the police cruiser all lit up, through the row of burning fusees, past the town Marshal who was quick enough to dive out of the way ... and then go blasting into the floodwaters of the mighty Hockhocking River in beautiful downtown Chauncey. First time I ever saw a car hydroplane. Sideways. After the magnificent fan of water blasted into the atmosphere, after the engine died very suddenly, after the driver climbed out the window yelling, only to fall into that dirty floodwater ... The town marshal and I tossed coin to see who would wade in after the poor fellow. The Marshal lost the toss but I loaned him my thigh high fire boots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Foot Johnson Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 21 minutes ago, Raylan said: At an agency where I worked a client became physically violent and a fellow staff member yelled at the receptionist - "Call 911!" The receptionist paused then said, "What's the number for 911?" Sometimes, it's not 911... I worked at a local industrial facility for 23 years, and to get an outside line required dialing 9 first. We had an emergency requiring fire & medical services, and whoever was trying to dial 911 kept dialing 911 and couldn't get through because from all the plant phones, 911 was 9911. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Church Key, SASS # 33713 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 An interesting and very true quote: "He/she were educated beyond their level of intelligence." ---Anon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said: That actually sounds like something I'd say to someone when in one of my "wise-ass" moods. By the way ~ let's not forget the fact that intelligent people too can sometimes do stoopid things. Heck ~ not saying that I'm particularly intelligent, but I might have even been guilty of such once or twice in my life... There was a bit more to the conversation. I tried to explain that it didn't matter which way I was going because North was always North. She insisted that it depends on which direction I was going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 23 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said: There was a bit more to the conversation. I tried to explain that it didn't matter which way I was going because North was always North. She insisted that it depends on which direction I was going. Not if your at the North Pole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 29 minutes ago, Cypress Sun said: Not if your at the North Pole. But there all directions are South. Be hard to have a North side of the street there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 "Ya can't get there from here. Ya gotta go someplace else first!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 18 hours ago, Assassin said: I work in the mental health industry. Degrees in psychology must be easy to aquire. I met a Lady once who had been a nurse in mental health .... she said that the main difference between the patients and the staff was ..... ......... who held the keys ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 On 4/12/2020 at 5:43 PM, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said: They walk among us. 23 hours ago, Wild Will Bartell said: And, unfortunately... they vote. Often times, repeatedly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 4 minutes ago, Calamity Kris said: Often times, repeatedly. .... and again, and again, and again ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted April 13, 2020 Share Posted April 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said: There was a bit more to the conversation. I tried to explain that it didn't matter which way I was going because North was always North. She insisted that it depends on which direction I was going. 1 hour ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said: "Ya can't get there from here. Ya gotta go someplace else first!" Before and during my first two years of college, I delivered furniture furniture for a living. On a country road in West Virginia, not far from the Ohio border, the driver of the truck I was working heard that exact thing repeatedly from a gentleman who appeared to be digging potatoes. I remember it well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAYOBARD SASS #13025L Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 After thirty two years as a Los Angeles Deputy Sheriff, I feel your pain. My tolerance for stupid people has evaporated. Have been retired for seven years. It’s getting better over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, MAYOBARD SASS #13025L said: After thirty two years as a Los Angeles Deputy Sheriff, I feel your pain. My tolerance for stupid people has evaporated. Have been retired for seven years. It’s getting better over time. My Dad was a Los Angeles Deputy Sheriff... that was a long time ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Bill Burt Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 In our previous house we had a very nice, but shall we say ‘challenged’ neighbor. One day he was working on a home improvement project and realized he had bought the wrong kind of plywood. He threw a half dozen pieces of plywood onto the back of his flatbed pickup to bring them back to Home Depot to exchange and asked me if I wanted to go with him. I said ‘aren’t you going to tie those down? You don’t want them blowing off.” He responded ‘nah, I’ll be fine, it’s not windy today.’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 I am a contractor and facility/Fleet manager at an office that does some very specialized work. Some of these people have genius level IQs. Sometimes I feel ornery and have a bit of fun. One morning I'm walking past a fella and tell him I'm going to be doing some maintenance on the phones and will be blowing compressed air through the phone lines. I told him to put his head set in a bag so it doesn't get dust everywhere. After lunch I walk by his office and he asks me when he will be able to unbag his phone and use it again! I told him I wasn't quite finished yet. Another time we had a woman that was doing yoga instruction put in a work order to IT because her projector was malfunctioning. No problem, right? Wrong. Her malfunctioning projectors problem was it quit showing pictures on the wall every time someone walked in front of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Old Man Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 Retired from Kroger as a meat cutter. Have seen all kinds. SWMBO is currently a cashier at Kroger. It's even worse now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 19 years as a public servant and another 27 years in the service industry the more I agree with Mark Twain, "The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyrus Cassidy #45437 Posted April 14, 2020 Author Share Posted April 14, 2020 13 hours ago, MAYOBARD SASS #13025L said: After thirty two years as a Los Angeles Deputy Sheriff, I feel your pain. My tolerance for stupid people has evaporated. Have been retired for seven years. It’s getting better over time. I tried sending you a PM but the button won't work. I don't know why. My old Ops SGM from when I was a BN S3 did about that amount of time in your department, most of it on the motors, I think. Shoot me a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 One time I was lost and flagged down a cop to ask for directions. He said "You can't get there from here". I resisted the urge to jerk him out of the car through the window and instead explained that since I HAD been 'there' earlier in the day and was now 'here', there must be a path. Then he replied yeah, but YOU can't get there from here cause you're lost. I still didn't jerk him out of the car. I rubbed my temples and started to walk away and then he gave me directions. I was about an hour past being in the mood for that. This doesn't exactly fit the topic but the "ya can't get there from here" reminded me of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 I always managed, somehow, to forget stupid people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Angus McPherson Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 22 hours ago, Ramblin Gambler said: One time I was lost and flagged down a cop to ask for directions. He said "You can't get there from here". I resisted the urge to jerk him out of the car through the window and instead explained that since I HAD been 'there' earlier in the day and was now 'here', there must be a path. Then he replied yeah, but YOU can't get there from here cause you're lost. I still didn't jerk him out of the car. I rubbed my temples and started to walk away and then he gave me directions. I was about an hour past being in the mood for that. This doesn't exactly fit the topic but the "ya can't get there from here" reminded me of it. I sometimes wonder where people ended up that asked me for directions while I was directing traffic around an accident. Angus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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