Update from the UK on the Panic Situation !!

[Gracos Kid]

 

UK Virus ALERT:

 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to the recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

 

The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

 

The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

 

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

 

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

 

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

 

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[Capt. James H. Callahan]

Thanks for the laugh. We can all use one about now. People have lost their ever loving minds.

JHC

[Smuteye John SASS#24774]

The French battle flag is NOT white.

 

It's a white/off white/bright white tricolor with pastel white stars on a plain white field with a snow white St George's Cross in the center (in commemoration of the British kicking their @$$#$ so regularly for the better part of 500 years) .

 

I know it sounds a little busy but we are dealing with the French here. Considering that the last great native French military leader was a 16 year old girl that heard voices in her head, I can see how they'd feel the need to over compensate with gaudy pageantry.

[Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L]

4 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

. Considering that the last great native French military leader was a 16 year old girl that heard voices in her head, I can see how they'd feel the need to over compensate with gaudy pageantry.

 

 

I think Marquis de La Fayette did a pretty good job for George Washington

[Sedalia Dave]

Everybody pokes fun at the French Military. However the average French soldier can hold their own pretty darn well.

 

Their problem is that their Senior leadership and their government especially has no stomach for a fight.

[Earl Brasse, SASS #3562]

Best virus laugh yet, thanks.  

 

maybe it'll go viral.............

[Smuteye John SASS#24774]

54 minutes ago, Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L said:

 

 

I think Marquis de La Fayette did a pretty good job for George Washington

Yeah, for us.

[DocWard]

Reminds me of the joke about the thinnest books in the world.

 

5. America's Most Popular Lawyers

4. Bill Clinton's Book of Morals

3. Jane Fonda's How I Served My Country

2. George Foreman's Book of Baby Names

1. The Big Book of Great French Military Leaders