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Baptist Pastor Resigns


Subdeacon Joe

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The scandal unfolded after a church congregant unearthed comments made by Harrison in a recorded sermon over 10 years ago,

 

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WEST HATTIESBURG, MS—Local Southern Baptist pastor Pete Harrison resigned in disgrace earlier this week after admitting that he doesn't like eating casseroles.

The scandal unfolded after a church congregant unearthed comments made by Harrison in a recorded sermon over 10 years ago, in which Harrison said he preferred "something healthy like a nice garden salad" to "fatty, unhealthy casseroles."

Dozens of angered church members stormed Harrison's home with pitchforks and torches hastily assembled out of the church's unused front pew, demanding answers. The pastor emerged, frightened and sheepish, and made a statement.

"I apologize to all those I've hurt," he mumbled as several elderly church ladies began fashioning a Molotov cocktail to throw through his window. "It's clear to me now that I'm unfit for ministry. Please accept my resignation, and for the love of all that is holy, don't hurt me!"

 

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If its a Southern Baptist church, he could lose his ministry license.

His license  could be restored if he stops preaching against dancing and moonshine.

 

If he's Independent Baptist, he could get to keep his ministry license but

must serve 2 years in a foreign missionary position..... somewhere in the S.Pacific

like Hawaii.

:D

 

..........Widder

 

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OHHHHHH:

 

I am going to warn my pastor so he does not make the same mistake.  I have noticed he has a tendency to hit the pirogi pretty hard but not so much on the polish sausage and kraut - symptoms of maybe something deeper?

 

STL Suomi

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8 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

 

If he's Independent Baptist, he could get to keep his ministry license but

must serve 2 years in a foreign missionary position..... somewhere in the S.Pacific

like Hawaii.

:D

 

..........Widder

 

 

That could be interpreted two ways.  I can think of worse positions. :D

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2 hours ago, St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 said:

OHHHHHH:

 

I am going to warn my pastor so he does not make the same mistake.  I have noticed he has a tendency to hit the pirogi pretty hard but not so much on the polish sausage and kraut - symptoms of maybe something deeper?

 

STL Suomi

You do realize that''s there's probably not 3 people in West Hattiesburg that knows what a pirogi is, right?

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1 hour ago, Marshal Hangtree said:

 

That could be interpreted two ways.  I can think of worse positions. :D

 

Howdy Marshal.

I was wondering if anyone would catch my usage of the word 'position'.   You got it!

;)

 

..........WIdder

 

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Showed my pastor that some time ago. He assured me no problem in that area. At his size I agreed.:lol:

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18 minutes ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

Howdy Marshal.

I was wondering if anyone would catch my usage of the word 'position'.   You got it!

;)

 

..........WIdder

 

I believe we both must have sick minds, Widder. :o

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Just now, Capt. James H. Callahan said:

Almost as bad, we had a pastor a few years ago who didn't like fried chicken. Great preacher, but not sure what planet he's from.

JHC

How can you have Sunday dinner on the ground if you don't like fried chicken?  Blasphemy, I tell you!

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4 hours ago, St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 said:

OHHHHHH:

 

I am going to warn my pastor so he does not make the same mistake.  I have noticed he has a tendency to hit the pirogi pretty hard but not so much on the polish sausage and kraut - symptoms of maybe something deeper?

 

STL Suomi

 

Is that like a bong, or what?

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13 hours ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said:

Read the article. It’s from the Babylon Bee...  hysterical IMO. :lol:


OF COURSE it’s a joke!

Whadda you think we are?!  Maroons?  Embassy sells?!

:angry: :)

Cat Brules

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AIYEEEEEE!!

 

A pirogi is a filled dumpling, usually fried in butter and onions.  Filling can be fruit, cheese, or kraut.  Think a ravioli, a kreplach, or a European version of a Asian pot sticker or sui mai.  Think a wonderful little noodle like dough package around a great tasty surprise.  My favorite is cheese/potato.

 

STL Suomi

 

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1 hour ago, St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 said:

AIYEEEEEE!!

 

A pirogi is a filled dumpling, usually fried in butter and onions.  Filling can be fruit, cheese, or kraut.  Think a ravioli, a kreplach, or a European version of a Asian pot sticker or sui mai.  Think a wonderful little noodle like dough package around a great tasty surprise.  My favorite is cheese/potato.

 

STL Suomi

 

And are delicous!

 

But are a Central European thing and there weren't a whole lot of Poles, Czechs and Austrians settling in West Hattiesburg, so it hasn't worked its' way into the local cuisine.

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5 hours ago, Marshal Hangtree said:

 

Is that like a bong, or what?

 

If it was a bong, he'd be hitting the sausage and kraut and casseroles and fried chicken and fried chicken and fried chicken.....then he'd go back for seconds.

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7 minutes ago, Cypress Sun said:

 

If it was a bong, he'd be hitting the sausage and kraut and casseroles and fried chicken and fried chicken and fried chicken.....then he'd go back for seconds.

Exactly! And the chips! Where's the chips?

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My wife (who grew up in a Baptist home) likes to tell a story about her church and her Grandpa. The short of it is this:

 

W, "Grandpa why don't Baptists dance?"

Grandpa whispered, "They don't know how"

 

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12 hours ago, St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 said:

I have noticed he has a tendency to hit the pirogi pretty hard but not so much on the polish sausage and kraut - symptoms of maybe something deeper?

 

Maybe IBS?

 

Or an ulcer from having you in his congregation.

:lol:

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We Baptist believeth that all things should be combined together to make very hearty, meaty, and delicious cassaroles.  That Pastor is found in the scriptures as weak (and we should pray for his strengthening).  That pastor confessed he preferred herbs in the form of "a nice garden salad."  Can't be having weak pastors.  Or worse, weak Baptist Category shooters!!! 

 

Romans 14:2 (KJV)

For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.

 

We need to pray for all weak vegetarians. -_-

 

(Another one of my fractured scriptural misinterpretations.)

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2 hours ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said:

You guys better be careful or Birdgun will be in here yelling about a Baptist Category. 

Just remember that crossdraws are illegal in the Baptist category because Baptists don't dance. :rolleyes:

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On 3/12/2020 at 6:39 AM, St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 said:

OHHHHHH:

 

I am going to warn my pastor so he does not make the same mistake.  I have noticed he has a tendency to hit the pirogi pretty hard but not so much on the polish sausage and kraut - symptoms of maybe something deeper?

 

STL Suomi

They probably don't know what a pasty is either. A good Finn like does.

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56 minutes ago, Finagler 6853 Life said:

They probably don't know what a pasty is either. A good Finn like does.

Howdy:

 

Ja sure I do!  I love them - the UP misses me - I used to go to Menominee and we always got several at a little stand  that was in a converted bus in a gravel pit.  LOVED them - still do. 

OH get ready for St Urho's day.  heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, mene helvettiin  :-)

 

STL Suomi

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3 hours ago, Finagler 6853 Life said:

They probably don't know what a pasty is either. A good Finn like does.

I know what a pasty is. If you take them off like you would a bandaid, you better have more than singles.

 

Just a heads up.

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