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Fun with phone calls


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Mama's name was Susie. Our phone number was either one number away, or possibly it had a couple of numbers transposed (I don't really remember) from the local propane dealer. And her name was also Susie.

 

RING RING

 

"Hello?"

 

Can I speak to Susie?

 

"Yeah, hang on.  MAMA! PHONE!"

 

Except they didn't want to talk to Mama. :wacko:

 

Daddy was a junior. My brother is the third, and my nephew is the fourth. It was their anniversary, or maybe it was Daddy's birthday (don't recall). The clan had gathered. My brother is standing in the kitchen talking to Mama.

 

RING RING.

 

"Hello?"

 

Can I speak to Jim?

 

"Which one?"

 

Uhhh - Jim Smith.

 

"Which one? Jim my father, Jim me, or Jim my son?"

 

Uhhhhhhh - the one in his sixties?

 

"DADDY!"

 

 

What WHEN my brothers growed up they moved out of state. Me - I lived half a mile away from the house I growed up in. After Daddy died, I'd be over visitin', and the phone would ring. I wouldn't think anything about it, just pick it up. "Hello?"

 

And there'd be a little bit of silence, as whoever it was that was calling an old woman that lived by herself was parsing hearing that man's voice. Then, "I'm sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number."

 

Maybe not. Who you wanna talk to? :P

 

 

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Reminds me of the message on my home answering machine.

 

"Hello", followed by a 5 second pause, "you have reached the home of...".

 

Folks almost always start talking during the pause and long before beep to leave a message.

 

My mother-in-law hates it; especially when I emulate the answering machine on a real call; I even make the beep noise just to mess with her :lol:

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A dear friend and brother Mason answered his with, "Hello, this is me, is this you?"

 

One night my pone rang (long before caller ID) and I picked it up:  "Howdy, Joe!" and there was this long silence and the town marshal -- Joe Hunt -- said "How'd you know it was me?"
"I'm psychotic.  I mean psychic."

 

I misdialed here some years ago and got a gentle voiced little old gal.

I apologized and admitted I'd dialed the wrong number, and apologized for interrupting her day, and she allowed as I had much better manners than most who called her by mistake, and we must have talked for a good fifteen minutes, two complete strangers laughing over our common experiences with wrong numbers.

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When co-workers called my extension their name would appear on my phone's display.

 

Ring...I look at the display, it is Rex calling me.  

 

Me:  "Hello Rex.  What can I do for you?"

 

Rex:  a Long pause before "This is Rex"

 

Me:  "Yes Rex.  What can I do for you?"

 

You see Rex had a personal procedure to follow and if that procedure was interrupted he'd start all over.

 

 

Greetings I had sung for our answering machine:  

 

(Jim Reeves) Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone.  Leave a message right after the tone.

 

(Brenda Lee) I'm sorry.  So sorry.  I could not answer the phone. Please leave message,  after the tone.  bum-a-bum bum-a-bum bum-a-bum.

 

 

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Lately, lots of calls from solicitors. Mostly robocalls, but every once in a while I get to do this:

 

Solicitor: May I speak with Xxxxx?

 

Me: Hey,  you don’t need to check on me, I said I’d be in touch when the job was finished. But you better get the clean-up crew here, like NOW!  And you’ll need to pay them extra. It got messy. You said there’d be no one else here. I gotta go. 
 

Click

 

 

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1 minute ago, Ozark Huckleberry said:

Lately, lots of calls from solicitors. Mostly robocalls, but every once in a while I get to do this:

 

Solicitor: May I speak with Xxxxx?

 

Me: Hey,  you don’t need to check on me, I said I’d be in touch when the job was finished. But you better get the clean-up crew here, like NOW!  And you’ll need to pay them extra. It got messy. You said there’d be no one else here. I gotta go. 
 

Click

 

 

 

Robocalls:  "Hello.  County Sheriff's Department.  Fraud Division.  How can I direct your call?"

 

Or...my smart phone enables all calls NOT in my contact list goes straight to voice mail, my phone doesn't ring.  Once or twice a week I look to see if I have any that have left a voice message, very few do.  Had one that stated my social security number had been suspended and I need to call them back ASAP!!!!!  I didn't. 

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A friend had an amusing answering machine message in an exasperated tone:

 

"I knew it, I knew it.   I waited and waited for you to call and you didn't.  The minute I left the house you called.  I'll call you back!"

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My sister has an answering machine message that is so long I sometimes forgot why I called.  I finally asked if she had a caller ID on her phone. She does.  So now I call, wait until the message starts and hang up.  She'll call abck within a few hours.

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Until he had it changed, my uncle's 'phone number was a couple of digits off from a Chinese Food take-out or delivery restaurant.

Phone calls late at night (or early morning) from some intoxicated and hungry people resulted in him taking the order and promising rapid delivery.

Then he would disconnect the phone until morning.

Irate calls about late delivery, to the correct number, must have been interesting.

 

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My scoutmaster's number was one digit off from a -- "black" taxi company. He would get phone calls in the very early Saturday and Sunday morning from drunk people wanting a taxi cab to come to the Harlem Bar or the Little Savoy. And he would tell them, in his best Amos & Andy accent, that he would have a cab there in 5 minutes. Then he'd hang up and go back to sleep.

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I had a number that was one digit off from a Dunkin Donuts. I’d get 1am phone calls from drunks looking for their friend to drive them home.

 

id get call for a woman.  She’s in the bedroom with a client and asked not to be disturbed, can I take your name and number?

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Howdy,

So this friend of mine was named Andy.

His father also Andy and of course his son Andy as well.

Their difference was the middle name which no on could ever keep straight.

They thought it was all fun to frustrate folks.

That is until the youngest was found guilty of a felony.

Stopped being so funny then.

Good luck buying a gun or getting thru a background check.

Best

CR

 

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Moved into an apartment, got a new phone number then a few weeks later a lady called and was very upset that I had answered her daughter's phone! I tried to explain that I just got the number but she kept going on as to how I should not be allowed to have her daughter's number. I had to hang up on her.

 

A coworker's office phone number was the same as the FBI's office in Los Angeles County, just a different area code. He got a lot of calls from people trying to reach the FBI. I don't know if he played any of them along.

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Ring, Ring

Me - Hello

Them - We're offering you a free home alarm system

Me - Great I've been looking for one

Them - OK, are you the homeowner

Me - Yes I am

Me - One question before we start, can you alarm a yurt?

Them - Click

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4 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Until he had it changed, my uncle's 'phone number was a couple of digits off from a Chinese Food take-out or delivery restaurant.

Phone calls late at night (or early morning) from some intoxicated and hungry people resulted in him taking the order and promising rapid delivery.

Then he would disconnect the phone until morning.

Irate calls about late delivery, to the correct number, must have been interesting.

 

Disconnecting the phone was a good idea.

We lived 30+ years in Orange County, NY. Shortly after we moved there we started getting calls between 00:30 and 02:00 from a drunk asking for a Taxi to pick them up. I would explain that we were not a taxi service and hang up. They would call back and insist that I send a cab immediately. Finally I figured out to call my number with two numbers in the exchange code transposed. The answer was a heavy Hispanic accent "Jyonkers Junion". Turns out it was the Yonkers Union Taxi Cab Co. in Yonkers, NY. The next drunk that called me I told her "be there is 5" and hung up. I waited and sure enough 10 minutes later she called back "Where's my Cab?" I said "wrong number", hung up and disconnected the phone. Next day I went to our Telephone Co and asked for a different number. Once I explained the midnight calls they were very accommodating. It was too bad, as my wife really liked the old number.

 

CJ

 

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I thought this was going to be about those old time prank phone calls we pulled as young uns!

 

Ya know like,

 

Hello M'am "Is your refrigerator running"

"Why yes it is",

WELL YA BETTER GO CATCH IT!!!

 

Hello Sir do have Prince Albert in a can? "

Why Yes I do!

Well I think you should let him out now!

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Long ago at a previous job; if you googled the unemployment / welfare office my work phone number would be listed as as one of the numbers to call.

 

Most callers went right into their tirade even though I answered the Phone with XXXX Aerospace  YYYY division. When I could get a word in edgewise I would tell them I was a rocket scientist and not a social worker.  Phone would go click and then they would immediately call back. This time when I answered XXXX Aerospace they would just hang up. Some time I would get 4 or 5 calls in a row before they gave up.

 

Most tirades were about not getting money they thought they were owed.   Wanted so badly to say "If you had a job you would know where your check was now wouldn't you." Never did because I was afraid that they would get really mad and file a complaint with my employer. My site manager had no sense of humor. :(

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I get several calls at my business and I do look forward to some sales calls.

Call#1  Hello this is Ace tool warehouse in San Diego and we have a great special on cut off wheels this week.

me; No not interested I can get them cheaper at the auto parts store.

her; well can I interest you in something else.

me; what have you got

her; well if you have an open mind, I also have adult films for sale.

me; no thanks,  I had one here once and the mechanic and the secritary found it and thought it was a training film and they were gone all afternoon. Bye.

 

Call# 2 This is Delta security service and we will be in your area tomarow and would like to have a represenitve stop and give you a free security inspection.

Me; No thanks we have a good system installed at the present time.

her; Oh what is it Smith and Wesson, or Colt?

me; No I have a very good system, the city police come by about 3 times a day, the state police roll past the shop at least once a day. I have see Black suv's with no plates on them parked across the street and even a helicopter will do a slow fly over from time to time.

her: What kind of system is that?

me; I have a camel tied up in the back and an Isis flag in the front,   bye.

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