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Quick....what would you do?


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The response that Charlie T. Waite gave in a post yesterday brought this to mind.

 

Watching an old episode of image.png.57dc64fd58c173ff3430e053eb3d0133.png there is a scene in which a husband comes home to hear his wife's muffled screams from their garage as the sound of a car engine revs up and busts through the garage door from inside.

Arriving at the inside of the garage, with the car now barreling down the dirt road, the husband sees his wife laying on the garage floor.

Her mouth is taped shut, her feet are tied with a heavy rope with the other end attached to a large upright freezer.

She has a barbed wire noose around her neck which is attached to a very long pile of heavy chain. image.png.a3fb77d526b289232ff68592490e5eaa.png 

The other end is attached to the bumper of the now speeding vehicle.

As the chain unwinds, she continues to scream while frantically flailing about.

You only have less than 15 seconds left until the chain is completely unwound, pulling everything tight and eventually decapitating her......

This is your garage, so you know where everything should be!

What would you do?

 

First: List the answer you came up with within 15 seconds of reading this.

Then: List the answer after you had plenty of time to think about your options, the time it would take to accomplish it and whether it would work.

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Cut the barbed wire, still 15 seconds might go by just taking in the situation.

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Pull out Leatherman and cut barb wire    Eyesa Horg beat me      GW

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Just now, G W Wade said:

Pull out Leatherman and cut barb wire    Eyesa Horg beat me      GW

I bet you beat me, I was heading to the drawer for cutters  (linemans). The leatherman might be quicker depending on how fast you can open it.

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21 minutes ago, Perro Del Diablo said:

First thought be wire cutters after the barbwire

 

3 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Cut the barbed wire, still 15 seconds might go by just taking in the situation.

 

2 minutes ago, G W Wade said:

Pull out Leatherman and cut barb wire    Eyesa Horg beat me      GW

 

That was my thought; however, it came past the 15 second mark.

Like the husband in the episode, most would also panic and end up not acting quick enough.

Of course, knowing how disorganized we guys can be, even knowing a pair of wire cutters, pliers or leatherman would do the trick, we couldn't put our hands on it fast enough. :huh:

I'm sure the villain in the episode intended for the husband to view the demise of his wife. 

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Well let's do the math:

 

Car is "barreling" down the dirt road.  Conservatively 30 mph, but probably faster.  But we'll stick with 30.

 

30 mph = 158,400 feet per hour, or 44 feet per second.

 

15 seconds of reaction time before her death = 660 feet of chain laying on the floor.

 

Who in the hell totes around 660 feet of chain with them while committing a burglary? 

 

Let's suppose that it is only 3/8" chain instead of "heavy duty" 1/2" chain.  3/8" chain weighs 1.41 pounds per foot.  Therefore, total weight of chain = 930 lbs.

 

My advice would be to relax, grab a beer from the fridge and wait.  If the chain is indeed secured to the bumper of the getaway car, the weight of the chain will pull the bumper off the car long before car reaches the full extent of 930 lbs. worth of chain.

 

Call the Police and tell them to be on the lookout for a car with no rear bumper.  Then offer the wife a sip of your beer.  And be kind.  She'll need a few minutes to get over the ordeal before starting supper.

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Marshall, that is a well thought-out answer. Howsomever, when your wife sees that, instead of frantically trying to save her, you went and got a beer, all the explanation in the world will not HELP. You are a dead man. Or at least dee-vorced.

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1 minute ago, Alpo said:

Marshall, that is a well thought-out answer. Howsomever, when your wife sees that, instead of frantically trying to save her, you went and got a beer, all the explanation in the world will not. You are a dead man. Or at least dee-vorced.

 

I've frantically done many things for my ex and STILL got yelled at because I wasn't fast enough. A cold beer sounds really good.

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3 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Marshall, that is a well thought-out answer. Howsomever, when your wife sees that, instead of frantically trying to save her, you went and got a beer, all the explanation in the world will not HELP. You are a dead man. Or at least dee-vorced.

 

Went and got a beer, and called the Police.  Multitasking.

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900 lbs of chain would not pull off the bumper as the ground is holding most of the weight. So I would take out my Leatherman which is ALWAYS on my belt and cut the barbed wire.

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I would grab my bolt cutters and cut the barbed wire where it meets the chain.

 I think I would get a gun in case Snydely Whiplash decides to come back and then I would free my wife from her bonds.

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24 minutes ago, Springfield Slim SASS #24733 said:

900 lbs of chain would not pull off the bumper as the ground is holding most of the weight. So I would take out my Leatherman which is ALWAYS on my belt and cut the barbed wire.

But the bumper is still pulling 960 lbs of weight, regardless if the chain is on the ground or in the air.  And, we haven't even figure in the drag coefficient of the chain rubbing against the road as it is pulled.

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48 minutes ago, Marshal Hangtree said:

Well let's do the math:

 

Car is "barreling" down the dirt road.  Conservatively 30 mph, but probably faster.  But we'll stick with 30.

 

30 mph = 158,400 feet per hour, or 44 feet per second.

 

15 seconds of reaction time before her death = 660 feet of chain laying on the floor.

 

Who in the hell totes around 660 feet of chain with them while committing a burglary? 

 

Let's suppose that it is only 3/8" chain instead of "heavy duty" 1/2" chain.  3/8" chain weighs 1.41 pounds per foot.  Therefore, total weight of chain = 930 lbs.

 

My advice would be to relax, grab a beer from the fridge and wait.  If the chain is indeed secured to the bumper of the getaway car, the weight of the chain will pull the bumper off the car long before car reaches the full extent of 930 lbs. worth of chain.

 

Call the Police and tell them to be on the lookout for a car with no rear bumper.  Then offer the wife a sip of your beer.  And be kind.  She'll need a few minutes to get over the ordeal before starting supper.

 

Yep, she drives a Camry. That bumper's coming off. Then she can get ME a beer and explain how he got in to begin with.

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Noticing that the vehicle was a V.W. Bug, I was not concerned knowing the force at the end of the chain would snap the bug back to my driveway. By then my 45 would be out and take the stupid varmint into custody.

Any other vehicle I would have done

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Let’s face it.  The wife is going to die.

 

You must then dedicate your life afterwards to coralling the culprit, Tie him up, hook onto his tongue with needle-nose pliers, pull it way out and push a very long meat skewed through his tongue at the mouth.  Then, cut off his clothing, and start cutting chunks of him off with your Bowie knife.  Barbecue the little chunks and feed them to the dog while he watches.

 

Of course, that’s only the beginning.   Find out where his family lives and grab one or two of them, kids included.  Bring them back and start on them, while he watches.

 

Make a video and play it endlessly back to him.  You could probably become more inventive as you get into it.  I imagine you could keep them alive for several weeks.

 

Personally, for something like this, a grisly Vendetta is the only option.

 

Cat Brules

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In 15 seconds, I would pull my pistol and shoot the barbed wire.

YES, I think I would have time to place the wire right at the muzzle and shoot to cut it.

 

 

..........Widder

 

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23 minutes ago, Cat Brules said:

Let’s face it.  The wife is going to die.

 

You must then dedicate your life afterwards to coralling the culprit, Tie him up, hook onto his tongue with needle-nose pliers, pull it way out and push a very long meat skewed through his tongue at the mouth.  Then, cut off his clothing, and start cutting chunks of him off with your Bowie knife.  Barbecue the little chunks and feed them to the dog while he watches.

 

Of course, that’s only the beginning.   Find out where his family lives and grab one or two of them, kids included.  Bring them back and start on them, while he watches.

 

Make a video and play it endlessly back to him.  You could probably become more inventive as you get into it.  I imagine you could keep them alive for several weeks.

 

Personally, for something like this, a grisly Vendetta is the only option.

 

Cat Brules

 

Honestly, I like your thinking.

 

I've always thought I would catch the culprit, skin them alive, hang them upside down from

the local high bridge with some 'fuse' tied around their neck.   THEN,  pour BROMINE down their body.

Somewhere in there, right before I thought they were gonna pass out, I would then pour

a flammable material on them and light the fuse.

 

..........Widder

 

 

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44 minutes ago, Cat Brules said:

Let’s face it.  The wife is going to die.

 

You must then dedicate your life afterwards to coralling the culprit, Tie him up, hook onto his tongue with needle-nose pliers, pull it way out and push a very long meat skewed through his tongue at the mouth.  Then, cut off his clothing, and start cutting chunks of him off with your Bowie knife.  Barbecue the little chunks and feed them to the dog while he watches.

 

Of course, that’s only the beginning.   Find out where his family lives and grab one or two of them, kids included.  Bring them back and start on them, while he watches.

 

Make a video and play it endlessly back to him.  You could probably become more inventive as you get into it.  I imagine you could keep them alive for several weeks.

 

Personally, for something like this, a grisly Vendetta is the only option.

 

Cat Brules

 

So you're not the only one who suspected him of sleeping with your wife prior to you coming home? <_<

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I can drag a 250 lb container of lead up my drive way but I sure can't lift it. The bumper isn't coming off until it gets to the end, and by then your wife is toast.

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The "mess" in the garage is only a mess to the uninitiated.

 

Grab the big pliers out of the second from the bottom drawer (they are in the back, on the right), cut the barbed wire, THEN mag dump into the back of the back of the car.

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My Bolt Cutters Reside right by the door , grab them Cut the Chain or Barb Wire ....

Give Her 30 minutes to get Supper Started after I free her ....

Wonder if I shouldn't have acted so Quickly ,,,, When she is still fussing and crying after 45 Minutes instead of Starting Supper ... <_<

 

Jabez Cowboy 

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