Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 "Duct tape won’t fix that." "We don’t keep firearms in this house." "No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe." "I just couldn’t find a thing to buy at Walmart today." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 “No grits.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 That fried tofu was wonderful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 Here, hold my chardonnay and watch this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake River Clay SASS #34984 Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 PBR sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 “NASCAR? What’s that?” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 voting demon-crat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 I don't like sweet tea. "Oh, you don't have to call me Ma'am (or Sir), Darlin', just use my first name." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 "That's it for the primer. Now for the topcoat!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-BAR #18287 Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 Still got all my teeth, no cavities either! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozark Huckleberry Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 Things you won't hear a red-neck say? Things like: - What in the world does a pickup need THAT much ground clearance for? - We need to find someone who's got a set of jumper cables. - You're gonna need a tow truck to get your car out of that mud. - Women are strong enough to open their own doors. - If my neighbor needs a hand, his own family needs to help him 'cause it ain't my business. - It's my right to sit here on my butt while they play the anthem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dude Slade Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 - Checkmate. - Pardon me, but, do you have any Grey Poupon? - I'd like a Zima, please. - I can't go hunting this weekend, it's my wife's birthday. - I never keep the fish, I only catch and release. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck Steak Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 ...get that little TV that works off of that larger TV that doesn't work anymore ...did you guys watch "The Connors" last night ...is that gluten free ...I'm going to go with the eggshell lace draperies ...we should ban sugary drinks ...the Pledge of Allegiance has no educational value and is “reminiscent of totalitarian US regimes and colonialism.” ...I donated campaign money to politicians that were best friends with Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein ...you didnt build that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 I love neckties. Less power is better. I am sick of meat...give me the veggie plate. Do you think I should use more product in my hair? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 "I prefer clean t-shirts with sleeves". "The only shotgun I own is a fancy engraved English double". . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Crimes Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 When I was doing my Masters at Yale........... I will have the Decaff, soy, caramal latte please No bacon on that please (we call them bogans) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 Speaking as a redneck that's half hillbilly, I always find these sort of lists amusing- since I know that if there's a tornado that traps the jokers in their homes, they get lost in the woods or stuck in the mud on the back side of no-where, it will be some of my redneck/hillbilly brethren that will show up with a chainsaw, a pack of bloodhounds or a jacked up 4x4 with a winch and tow chains to pull their butts out of trouble. And most of them will be insulted when you try to pay him for doing right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 No thanks I don't drink beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 Damn well said, Johnny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Hangtree Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 52 minutes ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said: Speaking as a redneck that's half hillbilly, I always find these sort of lists amusing- since I know that if there's a tornado that traps the jokers in their homes, they get lost in the woods or stuck in the mud on the back side of no-where, it will be some of my redneck/hillbilly brethren that will show up with a chainsaw, a pack of bloodhounds or a jacked up 4x4 with a winch and tow chains to pull their butts out of trouble. And most of them will be insulted when you try to pay him for doing right. My friend Smuteye is absolutely correct. When the snit hits the fan, we rednecks don't call AAA to tow us out of a ditch, or wait on FEMA after a storm. We roll up our sleeves, fire up the chainsaws and generators, and grill burgers for the first responders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said: Speaking as a redneck that's half hillbilly, I always find these sort of lists amusing- since I know that if there's a tornado that traps the jokers in their homes, they get lost in the woods or stuck in the mud on the back side of no-where, it will be some of my redneck/hillbilly brethren that will show up with a chainsaw, a pack of bloodhounds or a jacked up 4x4 with a winch and tow chains to pull their butts out of trouble. And most of them will be insulted when you try to pay him for doing right. What's really sad is that if you bailed out some liberal tourist from NYC who got into trouble like that they'd still make fun of you afterwards for being a redneck. If there's one thing they can't stand it's somebody who takes care of themselves and doesn't need government assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 You guys are correct, I've never said any of that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G W Wade Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 I got too many guns GW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said: What's really sad is that if you bailed out some liberal tourist from NYC who got into trouble like that they'd still make fun of you afterwards for being a redneck. If there's one thing they can't stand it's somebody who takes care of themselves and doesn't need government assistance. Petty people live petty lives. They will lie to themselves and claim that those they encountered were the exception rather than the rules. I can't help if they are gullible enough to believe the systematic lies they have been told for generations. The 'redneck' stereotype has existed under various names since Colonial times. Anything repeated for that long will be believed by the small and weak minded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Hangtree Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 3 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said: What's really sad is that if you bailed out some liberal tourist from NYC who got into trouble like that they'd still make fun of you afterwards for being a redneck. If there's one thing they can't stand it's somebody who takes care of themselves and doesn't need government assistance. That's all right. It doesn't bother us one bit. Even if they do think that we are ignorant, backwoods slugs . . . we'd still help out the poor little helpless government-dependent miscreants. Then we'd wave as they drive off, laugh like hell, and go get a beer. All in a days work for a redneck. And BTW. Rednecks aren't only in the South. Some of the redneckyist folks I know are from rural Pennsylvania, central Ohio, Nebraska, and even out on Long Island. Good folks, all of them. We just have different accents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 25 minutes ago, Marshal Hangtree said: That's all right. It doesn't bother us one bit. Even if they do think that we are ignorant, backwoods slugs . . . we'd still help out the poor little helpless government-dependent miscreants. Then we'd wave as they drive off, laugh like hell, and go get a beer. All in a days work for a redneck. And BTW. Rednecks aren't only in the South. Some of the redneckyist folks I know are from rural Pennsylvania, central Ohio, Nebraska, and even out on Long Island. Good folks, all of them. We just have different accents. It's a state of mind, not a state of being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 8 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: “No grits.” Say WHAT? OLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabez Cowboy,SASS # 50129 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Boys pass me that "Beyond Meat Burger" and a Cream Soda .... I think I made Too Much Smoke .... Jabez Cowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major General Shagnasty Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 I"ll be a takin that there Ugo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoky Pistols Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Hell no, I don't want any gravy--all I need on my biscuits is butter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Did you watch Ellen yesterday? I prefer the Dom, 73 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Creek Law Dog Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I voted Democrat in the last election. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Brules Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Cop: “you got any ID?” Redneck: “‘Bout whut?” CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooster Ron Wayne Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Bartender give me a Shirley Temple to drink ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 "Would you bring me a wheat grass rather than sweet tea?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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