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Subdeacon Joe

More Fake Food

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Introducing Beyond Broccoli, Made from 100% Real Pork

 

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Have a craving for a food with the disgusting taste and texture of broccoli but the nutritional value of bacon? Well say hello to Beyond Broccoli, the only vegetable made from 100% real pork!

“Every one of our pigs is fed a diet consisting entirely of wholesome, organic broccoli,” said company spokesman Brad Weimaraner. “So each bite of its flesh tastes like a crisp, delicious floret picked fresh from the vine, or whatever it is that broccoli grows on.”

Weimaraner says Beyond Broccoli is currently available in bacon, pork chop, and ham varieties. But they’re considering adding kielbasa and Canadian bacon options to break into the international market.

“Consumers will no longer have to worry about getting enough pork in their diets,” he said. “All the health benefits of an entire pork shoulder are now available in a single head of broccoli.”

At press time, the company announced the upcoming release of Impossible Carrots, made from 100% grass-fed beef liver.

beyond broccoli

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4 minutes ago, The Original Lumpy Gritz said:

Have you thought about seeking professional help? :lol:

OLG 

 

 

Nope.  Why would I want to go to someone who is more screwed up than I am? :D

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1 minute ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

Nope.  Why would I want to go to someone who is more screwed up than I am? :D

 

To take lessons :P

OLG 

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My oldest grand daughter turned into a vegetarian several months ago.  We are dearly hoping that she grows out of this, but, I think I'll forward this post to her anyway.

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28 minutes ago, Dawg Hair, SASS #29557 said:

My oldest grand daughter turned into a vegetarian several months ago.  We are dearly hoping that she grows out of this, but, I think I'll forward this post to her anyway.

 

My wife and I are leaning more towards lacto-ovo vegetarian these days.  Not for any great moral reasons or health reasons, but more because meat just isn't quite as appealing.  No idea why.  She is a bit more like that than I am.  Some of it, I know is that we are once again trying to follow the rules fasting in the Orthodox Church.  But even without that, we are eating a whole lost less meat.  

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I’ll eat anything that doesn’t eat me first.  :o  :P   

 

I do like vegetables...any vegetables, pasta, chicken and beef.  I like pork, too, but I don’t eat it as much (besides bacon and ham sandwiches).....never learned how to prepare it well.
 

Cat Brules

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1 hour ago, Cat Brules said:

I’ll eat anything that doesn’t eat me first.  :o  :P   

 

I refer to it as being an opportunistic omnivore.

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Years ago I tried being vegetarian. I did it for a couple of months before I decided that it wasn’t for me. 
 

The thing that I did was I actually tried it but did not talk about it or ruin other people’s meals blathering in about my diet, how self-righteous “I” am or how bad the food they were eating was for them. :D

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7 minutes ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

I believe I'd rather starve than eat something like that.

 

 

Looks like they took a pork shank and pushed the meat down to one end.  Think of it as a pork-sicle. 

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7 minutes ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

I believe I'd rather starve than eat something like that.

Wait til you see what they can do with liver!

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13 hours ago, The Original Lumpy Gritz said:

Have you thought about seeking professional help? :lol:

OLG 

 

OLG, I believe it might be too late for that!

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6 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

Looks like they took a pork shank and pushed the meat down to one end.  Think of it as a pork-sicle. 

Hmmmm.... Pork-sicle.:lol:

 

Throw it on the grill for a bit and sell them with a little cup of Foy's as a dipping sauce and I bet it would be a hit!

foys-mild-16.jpg

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