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Subdeacon Joe

Fact Checking

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Your wife recently made the incredible claim that she was "fine" and that "nothing is wrong" when you asked her if everything is OK.

 

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Official Babylon Bee fact-checkers say that you should apologize immediately for whatever it is you did. A foot rub or chocolates are appropriate acts of penance.

You should also get better at communicating with her. She's your wife, bro.

She also claimed that she was OK with "whatever you want" for dinner, and we rate this claim Four Pinocchios.

 

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Yep, bad JuJu there.

 

Young husbands have to learn the hard way.

 

Points do not carry over from previous days.  Every morning when the husband wakes up, at best he is even and starting fresh.  At worst, history happens.

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PLUS ONE too J-BAR and Joe  :D

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The kids are grown and gone, so I asked "What do you want for Christmas."
She said, "The kids are gone now, you don't have to get me anything."

Big mistake.
Big, big, big mistake.

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12 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

Points do not carry over from previous days.

 

Ain't that the truth. You can be Husband of the Year for three weeks straight, and the first boo-boo you make you're back to sleeping on the couch. :huh:

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And, why is it that when they say "That's all I have to say about it"...........it's NEVER all they have to say about it.

 

Also, the words "Nevermind" and "Oh, nothing"........They are warnings. Run, hide, mow the yard or go to the store if you know what's good for you.

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13 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

Points do not carry over from previous days.  Every morning when the husband wakes up, at best he is even and starting fresh.  At worst, history happens.

 

And sometimes you wake up already in trouble for something you did in one her dreams.

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6 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

 

Ain't that the truth. You can be Husband of the Year for three weeks straight, and the first boo-boo you make you're back to sleeping on the couch. :huh:


Garage.
Actually, to clarify... the garage was the only quiet place with a house full of kids and working graveyard shifts.

My sweetie of 39 years is a rare one... she has never exiled me to the couch or the garage.
I did step on my johnson by not "reading her mind" about the Christmas gift, but it was good natured ribbing only.

I have gotten "that look" about something I did in her dreams... but even that winds up as something humorous...

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My wife woke up one morning and said she had a dream about me and one of my exgirlfriends (from before I even knew my wife), who was one of her old high school classmates.  She rode my butt for two days about something that never happened, drawing out every detail.  Me: “Why are you doing this?  It was a dream!“. Her:  “I know her and I know you!  I know what you two were doing!”  Hard to argue with that logic.  Btw, my old gf had cast me aside for one of my friends, a university basketball player, and they were later married.  After a couple of days, my wife just dropped it and, she never mentioned it again. ?????Who knows?

 

Cat Brules

 

 

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this.jpg

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39 minutes ago, Cat Brules said:

My wife woke up one morning and said she had a dream about me and one of my exgirlfriends (from before I even knew my wife), who was one of her old high school classmates.  She rode my butt for two days about something that never happened, drawing out every detail.  Me: “Why are you doing this?  It was a dream!“. Her:  “I know her and I know you!  I know what you two were doing!”  Hard to argue with that logic.  Btw, my old gf had cast me aside for one of my friends, a university basketball player, and they were later married.  After a couple of days, my wife just dropped it and, she never mentioned it again. ?????Who knows?

 

Cat Brules

 

 

 

I was going to post this in the "Memes" thread, but THIS ^^^^^gives me the perfect place for it.

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