Tequila Shooter Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 We all got'em, some we heard, some we use. What's yours? Here's an example: Something bad - Hell come a rollin Losing it - His cheese slid off his cracker Good, better......More better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 I could pee over a ten rail fence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bearded Wonder Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 A few bricks short of a full load A few fries short of a happy meal "Peeing" in the wind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 I Q of a lawn chair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Uglier than a mud fence. Dumber than a fence post. (side note: as you can see I had a lot of experience with fences and posts.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Dumber than a bag of hammers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Denser than lead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 IQ the same as his shoe size. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 So ugly she could scare a dog off a meat wagon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Crimes Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 WOW something the Aussies can shine at, Hold my Beer and watch this As ugly as a bucket of smashed crabs As dry as a dead dingo's donger Syphon the python Technicolour yawn A few roo's short in the top padock Fill your boots with soup As thick as two short planks The lights are on but no ones home We call him aspro, a slow working dope I am sure Mohawk has a million of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tequila Shooter Posted December 16, 2019 Author Share Posted December 16, 2019 How about messed up like a soup sandwich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 " Never date cross-eyed people as they may be seeing someone on the side! " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Technicolour yawn Talking to Ralph on the big white telephone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 When someone gives up easily: "Folded faster than a lawn chair in a hurricane". An idiot: "Two cans short of a six-pack". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Null N. Void Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 1/2 a bubble off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Null N. Void Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Only one ore in the water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc X Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 So ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 breath so bad he'd knock a buzzard off a shit wagon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Dumber than oatmeal Imis (some would tell you same-same) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Graybeard Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Ain't got enough sense to pour piss out of a boot Ain't got sense enough to pound sand in a rat hole He's a total waste of air space Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 A few fries short of a Happy Meal®. His Big Mac is missing the patties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duffield, SASS #23454 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 As useless as a screen door on a submarine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tequila Shooter Posted December 17, 2019 Author Share Posted December 17, 2019 My train of thought went down a dirt road Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Angus McPherson Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Ain't got enough sense to pour piss out of a boot From my grandmother: "He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel." Angus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 - Don't let the door hit cha where the good Lord split cha. - He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. - Ain't no problem a man can't, with a Colt .45 or a 30.06. - She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. - She's a butter face. Everything is perfect but her face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 "and my ass is a Chinese Typewriter" as frequently said by Blackwater Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustin Checotah Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Everybody thought he was going to be an astronaut because the teacher said he was just taking up space. He or she is not totally useless they can be used as a bad example. I'm not slow and not fast I'm Half-fast. (say it quick) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I just looked in the mirror and same the same expression I usually have this time of day. Not quite the same, but when I got married we sub let an apartment just off the USU campus. The guys who had been there and had painted the toilet bright red under the theory that everyone should have the opportunity to hug a redhead once before they graduated. We left a picture of my wife for them to see when they returned. She was a certified 100% real redhead. There was a note with the picture: "Eat your hearts out." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tex Wilson Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 One can short of a six pack, or 1 six pack short of a case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Worthless as teats on a boar hog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major E A Sterner #12916 Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 He/She Works harder than an ugly stripper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizPete Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 comin' up a cloud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 About as sharp as a bowling ball. Nothing between here and the North Pole but a bobwarr fence and two of three strands broke. Smell was so bad it would gag a gut wagon maggot. Crooked as a politician's conscience. The man was so crooked he planted a grove of cork screws for shade. Crooked enough they screwed him into the ground when he died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 Their elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Blarney Kid Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 Ain't got the sense God gave a gopher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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