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Sedalia Dave

Lone Ranger and Tonto

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the wilderness. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,"'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically-speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you,Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo... It mean someone stole tent."

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Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding along when they were suddenly surrounded by 100 indians that looked mean as hell. The Lone Ranger said to Tonto,"Kemosabe, what should we do?" Tonto said, " What do you mean Kemosabe, white man"?

Edited by Rye Miles #13621
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Tonto was trotting back and forth in front of the saloon.  The Lone Ranger walks into the saloon and the bartender says, "Sir, you left your Injun running."

 

I bet nobody can come up with a cornier Lone Ranger/Tonto joke than mine! ^_^

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Lone Ranger and Tonto were trying to ride up a steep mountain, but with the shale and loose gravel, Silver and Scout just couldn't make it. Lone Range tells Tonto 'Tie Scout to that bush, and climb up here behind me'. Tonto, confused but ever faithful, ties up his horse, climbs up behind Lone Ranger's saddle, and Silver has no problem at all climbing up the mountain.
Lone Ranger ties Silver to a tree, and he and Tonto walk back down the mountain to get Scout. Tonto unties the horse, jumps in the saddle, and tells Lone Ranger 'Now, Kemosabe, you climb up behind me.' Lone Ranger tells him 'It doesn't work that way, you have to be behind the saddle.' Tonto says 'Why that, Kemosabe?' Lone Ranger shakes his head pityingly, and says 'Don't you know anything? It's common knowledge you get better traction with the Injun in the rear.'

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I've heard the OP's joke before, only it was Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson who were camping. Still very funny.

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You left your Injun running.

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