An old Yiddish joke

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

I admit I stole this:

 

I am reminded of a Yiddish joke from the closing days of WWII.

In the closing days of the war, Hitler was getting despondent about the way things were going. He sought out a fortune teller, and found the one old Gypsy lady whom he had not already consigned to the camps. He went to her in what he thought was a disguise, and asked her what the outcome of the war would be.

The fortune teller, who was not fooled by the disguise, spent some time consulting several arcane books, and then said, “I can’t forecast the answer to this question, but you can. Take a one-mark coin, hold it first in your right hand, then in your left, then stand on it with your right foot, then your left. Then flip that coin high in the air, and see how it comes down.

“If it is heads, America and England will win. If it is tails, then Russia wins.”

Hitler was distressed. He asked, “Is there any other possible outcome?”

She replied, “Yes. If it lands on edge, then France will win.”

Hitler comes back and asks again, “Check you references again, please. Is there no other way this could end?”

So the fortune teller performs some rituals with goat entrails and bat bones, and finally says, “Well, I didn’t want to mention it, because it isn’t very likely, ….”

“Yes?”

“But if the coin remains aloft, spinning, and never lands at all, … “

“Yes, yes?” he prompts.

“Then Czechoslovakia wins.”

[Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L]

oy vey