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Bart Slade

Gotta watch what you say in public

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Was given a "watch what you say in public" reminder last night.

 

Was out to dinner with my wife, told her this joke I'd heard at work:

"What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in a bathtub?   You throw your laundry in".

 

Right away the guy in the table next to us says "you know that's joke is offensive".

So I told him "you listening in on my conversation is offensive"

 

He ignored my comment and continued "I had a son who was an epileptic, and he died in the bathtub"

 

I immediately felt about one inch tall.  So I replied to him "Oh my God, that's terrible.  Did he drown?"

 

"No," said the dude.  "He choked on one of my socks".

 

I apologize to any epileptics present

 

 

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That is PERFECTLY sick and twisted!!  I tip my beanie!!

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I'm in before this gets deleted!

 

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If you can’t laugh at this, you are beyond hope!

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Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, Catlow4697 said:

Someone will find this offensive

Won't do them any good.

 

There's a chapter of P.O.O.P(People Offended by Offended People) around here.  We can set Forty on them and pop a batch of popcorn to enjoy during the show.

Edited by Smuteye John SASS#24774
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Don't put all the load on 40.  You can all be members so do it yourself.  If everyone did the problem would be solved in just a few days.

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3 minutes ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

Don't put all the load on 40.  You can all be members so do it yourself.  If everyone did the problem would be solved in just a few days.

Oh, I'm a member!

 

I was browsing Fox News on my tablet while at lunch the other day when some windowlicker sitting behind me piped up with, "I don't see how you can read Fox News."

 

Without even moving I replied, " It's just as easy as you reading over a stranger's shoulder and having the gall to  @#$%* about what he's looking at."

 

I got to eat my lunch in peace after that, for some reason.

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41 minutes ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Oh, I'm a member!

 

I was browsing Fox News on my tablet while at lunch the other day when some windowlicker sitting behind me piped up with, "I don't see how you can read Fox News."

 

Without even moving I replied, " It's just as easy as you reading over a stranger's shoulder and having the gall to  @#$%* about what he's looking at."

 

I got to eat my lunch in peace after that, for some reason.

First you have to know how to read.

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My eleven year old grandson brought this one home this afternoon!! 

 

A patient wakes up in the hospital recovery room. He cries out, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”

 

The doctor replies, “I know! I had to amputate your arms!”

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4 minutes ago, Charlie Harley, #14153 said:

I’m almost ashamed at how hard I’m laughing right now.

 

Almost.

 ALMOST!!  :lol: :lol:

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7 hours ago, Bart Slade said:

Was given a "watch what you say in public" reminder last night.

 

Was out to dinner with my wife, told her this joke I'd heard at work:

"What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in a bathtub?   You throw your laundry in".

 

Right away the guy in the table next to us says "you know that's joke is offensive".

So I told him "you listening in on my conversation is offensive"

 

He ignored my comment and continued "I had a son who was an epileptic, and he died in the bathtub"

 

I immediately felt about one inch tall.  So I replied to him "Oh my God, that's terrible.  Did he drown?"

 

"No," said the dude.  "He choked on one of my socks".

 

I apologize to any epileptics present

 

 

I told me wife this joke. She laughed. I think she was actually laughing at me as I was laughing so hard I darn near feinted. Had to give myself a breathing treatment. :lol::lol::lol:

 

Looking forward to my ribs being healed up again so I can breath right. Good thing is my ribs didn’t hurt from laughing though. :D

 

Oh my gawd, this is a good joke. Thank you for the belly laugh Bart. ;)

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9 hours ago, Charlie Harley, #14153 said:

I’m almost ashamed at how hard I’m laughing right now.

 

Almost.

I am almost ashamed yall are my friends....NOT

Morning OJ through the nostrils is not pleasant

 

Imis

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Neither is the evening "After Dinner" Vino. :o Nor having to clean my Lap Top  :P

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On 8/23/2019 at 7:33 PM, Blackwater 53393 said:

My eleven year old grandson brought this one home this afternoon!! 

 

A patient wakes up in the hospital recovery room. He cries out, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”

 

The doctor replies, “I know! I had to amputate your arms!”

 

The perfect 11-year-old's joke....!

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As insensitive/politically incorrect as these jokes are...THEY ARE HILARIOUS! :lol:  As far as that's concerned, however, there are a LOT of politicians who should watch what they say/tweet in public!  (Regardless of political persuasion, etc.)  It is better to keep your mouth shut and let everyone thing you are stupid...then to open it and let them know!)

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Posted (edited)

 Some of the best tasteless epileptic jokes I have ever heard were told by a friend of mine, who is epileptic herself.

 

I have no doubt she's going to love this one if she's not already heard it.

 

Having a sense of humor is priceless.

Edited by Dantankerous
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2 hours ago, Dantankerous said:

 Some of the best tasteless epileptic jokes I have ever heard were told by a friend of mine, who is epileptic herself.

 

I have no doubt she's going to love this one if she's not already heard it.

 

Having a sense of humor is priceless.

Had a roommate in 'Nam named Boguski.  He told the best and worst polish jokes I ever heard

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