What Can We Do?

[J-BAR #18287]

Actually, there is something pretty simple we can do to help our kids thrive in today’s society.  And it’s not that hard:

 

https://theconversation.com/science-says-eat-with-your-kids-34573

 

 

 

[Blackwater 53393]

DANG!!  I thought for a second it said to “eat your kids”!!  I missed the “with” the first time!!  

[Smoken D]

Several years ago the wife and I were mentoring two young ladies, (age 11 & 12) We would pick them up from school on Wednesdays and bring them to our house. There we would make sure to give them a really good dinner meal every time. We would sit all together at the table and talk about their lives that day. One time they told us that this was the first time in their lives to ever sit at a table much less talk to each other about them. Think that was around 16 years ago now, they have grown up and when they contact us they mention how they make sure they eat at the table with their family's and the T.V. is OFF. Great way to communicate with your children.

[Sixgun Sheridan]

Not realistic. These days if you want to eat with your kids you first have to strap their legs to the chair with duct tape then pry their smartphones from their hands and toss those into the next room. Then as soon as CPS finds out about it...

 

Second, your kids might get a fright because they won't even know who you are unless you tell them your Facebook handle.

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  Dinnertime with our 3 kids at our house was spent 'undoing' what the schools did that day..... 

[Utah Bob #35998]

4 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

Not realistic. These days if you want to eat with your kids you first have to strap their legs to the chair with duct tape then pry their smartphones from their hands and toss those into the next room. Then as soon as CPS finds out about it...

 

Second, your kids might get a fright because they won't even know who you are unless you tell them your Facebook handle.

I disagree. I think it is well within our grasp. 

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

It is within our grasp. 

 

My 39 year old son once commented fondly how we sat at the table for meals when he was growing up. For reasons unknown to me, they are lax about that with their kids at their house. Particularly when it comes time to leaving the table. When kids are done eating they leave whenever it suits them.  

 

When we have grandkids over without parents, we insist they stay seated until excused by us. Sometimes we do that when parents are there too because well, they don’t require kids to do that. Our house, our rules sez us. 

 

Kids pushed back a little initially, but when they found they could take part in conversation and be listened to, they tend to stick around. And they’re learning the art of conversation too. Listen, talk, listen....

 

It’s not always smooth because they’re kids. But they’re more than capable and are  learning well. 

 

 

[bgavin]

Ask yourself:  how much did you listen to your parents?

My kids are 45, 42 and 34.
#1 and #4 are Democrats, #3 doesn't give a hoot, and #2 is an anti-terrorism officer in the Navy.

One of the sad parts of parenting is knowing your kids insist on blowing you off, and learning the same lessons you learned:  the hard way.

[punxsutawneypete]

1 hour ago, bgavin said:

Ask yourself:  how much did you listen to your parents?

 

 

I must have listened well, because I keep hearing my dad's words coming out of my mouth.

[bgavin]

Yeah, but as a grown man.

I hear my Dad saying the same, but I had to put down a lot of mileage, a lot of years and many mistakes before I started hearing those words.
After 45 years of kids... I want away from 'em.

Out of all those years, I've only had 16 months with their mother without kids or their babies around.
I have 2 more years until the last one is through nursing school and out of my house.

[Blackwater 53393]

13 minutes ago, punxsutawneypete said:

 

I must have listened well, because I keep hearing my dad's words coming out of my mouth.

 

"When I was seventeen, my father was the stupidest man I knew. When I turned twenty-five, I was amazed at how much he had learned."  (Mark Twain)

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

old too soon , smart enough to listen way too late 

[Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217]

43 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

 

"When I was seventeen, my father was the stupidest man I knew. When I turned twenty-five, I was amazed at how much he had learned."  (Mark Twain)

My dad was a Conservative and my mom was a Liberal. Guess who I wish I'd have listened to. However, in her (and my defense) Liberalism wasn't as shameful in the '60s as I find it to be now.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

In earlier times, liberalism (note small L) was not what it has been morphed into.

Unfortunately, here in Canada for example, Liberalism (note large L) has changed dramatically, into something too far left for many of us to swallow.

 

[J-BAR #18287]

Parenting strategies vary from one family to another.  I did not want to copy what my father did with me.  He was very controlling, autocratic, etc.  I did not think it was necessary to try to make my kids grow up to be like me.  They were/are individuals, with their own interests and goals.  My job as a dad was to provide a safe environment for them to become their own persons.  Meal time was not an opportunity for me to lecture them; it was a time to keep my mouth shut and find out what they were concerned about.

 

Both of them have Master’s degrees, neither have done drugs or been in jail,  both are comfortable with visiting us and being visited by us.

 

They are honest responsible adults.  I really don’t give a damn how they vote.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

On 8/10/2019 at 1:14 PM, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said:

My dad was a Conservative and my mom was a Liberal. Guess who I wish I'd have listened to. However, in her (and my defense) Liberalism wasn't as shameful in the '60s as I find it to be now.

My grandmother was Catholic, grandfather was Protestant, in a day when that was frowned upon about the same as black-white marriages. Rules of the House were no discussions of religion or politics.

[MizPete]

My Mama always said it didn't matter how busy everybody was; we could all find the time to sit down at the table for at least one meal a day.  I raised mine accordingly.  Additionally,  at my house, everybody was required to read the newspaper (might just be the comic section for Baby Girl when she was little) and comment on something in it.  No arguments at the table.  And a home-cooked meal; well, most of the time.