Hellgate #3302 L Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 It started out as just a mustache that has been there since college. Suggestions to shave it off began early in the marriage but it was “me” for better or worse and it has since not become an issue. I think the whiskers went up her nose when we smooched. This year was our 42nd anniversary so none of this is a deal breaker but to me, a head scratcher. So last year I grow a little under the lip “soul patch” ala Doc Holliday/Johnny Ringo (see “Tombstone”). Well it kept growing and ended up a goatee. The wife says it looks “demonic” (kinda got pointed like the Devil) and she said she’d rather I grew a full beard than a goatee. ARRIIIIGHT! On grows a full beard….. Couple months later I say how ‘bout I shave this part off and go with this: my hands covering the sides and leaving the ‘stash, some side and the chin. She says “ No Way! I’d rather you look like a mountain man than a pervert!” I’m not sure where the “pervert” came from. Then she says “the beard just makes you look really old” (I’m 69). So I says “yeah, but then that makes you look like a TROPHY WIFE” (assuming that was a compliment). She rolls her eyes and resumes some routine activity. A day or two later she says, “You know what would make a great Christmas present for me? If you shaved off the beard.” What’s a guy to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 Since it's so recent, shave it off. It my case I've had it for 50 years, so she wouldn't recognize me without it. But then, maybe she'd like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 OP-You already know what to do.......... You know you're gonna do it. OLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 19 minutes ago, Hellgate #3302 L said: A day or two later she says, “You know what would make a great Christmas present for me? If you shaved off the beard.” What’s a guy to do? What else? You buy a straight razor, strop, shaving brush, shaving soap, shaving mug and box it up for her as a Christmas present. Let her shave you Christmas morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 16 minutes ago, Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 said: Since it's so recent, shave it off. It my case I've had it for 50 years, so she wouldn't recognize me without it. But then, maybe she'd like that. My wife has told me that if I ever want a divorce all I have to do is shave. The last 4 or 5 years I've had my hair cut in a "business man's cut," getting it trimmed two or three times a year. It's been a while since I've been willing to waste the time in a barbershop so I'm starting to tie my hair back again. A few days ago Lisa told me, "You look more like Joe with your hair pulled back like that." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 DO NOT wait till it's cold outside to shave your beard. Do it when its warm out. Your face will still be cold in a breeze even in summer. I cut off my last one in January and went fishing the next day .I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE MY FACE TO FROSTBITE! PURE MISERY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Mrs. Lose wanted me to shave my beard off about 20 years ago and I did and she complained right away that it made me look 20 years younger than her so I grew it back and she hasn’t said a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 50 minutes ago, Yul Lose said: Mrs. Lose wanted me to shave my beard off about 20 years ago and I did and she complained right away that it made me look 20 years younger than her so I grew it back and she hasn’t said a thing. Now that's too funny. My bride wont let me shave my mustache for the same reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry T Harrison Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 My wife and I have been together for over forty years she has never seen me without my mustache Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 In forty-three years of marriage and three years of courtship, Schoolmarm has never seen me clean shaven! The last picture of me without facial hair is the photo taken for the senior picture in my high school yearbook, which was taken in June of my junior year!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I grow a goatee out once in awhile. I try to have one for the State Match, for whatever reason (see my avatar). I'm still currently sporting one, although I'll likely shave soon. Mrs. Doc is NOT a fan of me having facial hair. We were working hard this afternoon, and I knew I was doing something right when she pulled me in by the shirt and planted a kiss on me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cactus Jack Calder Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Mustache In 1968 I grew my mustache at sea while in the US Navy on a 6 month cruise. When we returned to port the enlisted men’s wives/girlfriends were allowed onto the hanger deck to meet their men. 640 sailors looking for their families all at once. When I found my wife her back was to me. I put my hand on her shoulder turned her around and went to give her a kiss. She almost clocked me before she recognized me with that stache. 51 years later she probably wouldn’t recognize me without it. CJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I shaved my 1969 vintage mustache off a few years ago. It was not a good decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellgate #3302 L Posted July 22, 2019 Author Share Posted July 22, 2019 SubDeacon Joe, you said: "What else? You buy a straight razor, strop, shaving brush, shaving soap, shaving mug and box it up for her as a Christmas present. Let her shave you Christmas morning." I'm askeered she'd slit my throat (accidently of course). I told her once that in order to get rid of me she'd either have to divorce me or kill me. She instantly quipped: your choice! So I says you'll have to kill me. She says "No problem. You won't feel a thing 'cause you'll be in your sleep." Now I keep one eye open. Michigan Slim: I appreciate the heads up on the cold weather shave off. I'll mention that to her. Maybe she'll knit me a chin cozy. Henry T. Harrison: Same here. As long as she has known me I've had the mustache which is not at issue. Utah Bob: Mine is a 1971 vintage but not very lush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Michigan Slim speaks truly! Dear old Dad complained bitterly when he shaved his -- which he only did once -- because, "As long as a man has hair on his face it guards his throat and as long as I wore a beard, I never had so much as a sore throat. When I shaved my beard I got sicker'n hell." I hacked off my chin whiskers once, and once only, in the past twenty years. The wife was unhappy, my daughter cried and the dog did not recognize me and snarled all bristled and bare fanged until he realized it was me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I wore a beard when my son was little. Shaved it off and cut of about ten inches of hair. Poor kid didn't know me! Scared the crap out of him when I walked in the door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Plasters, SASS#60943 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Last time I shaved off the mustache and goatee the wife said grow it back it hides more of your ugly mug! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-BAR #18287 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 14 hours ago, Hellgate #3302 L said: A day or two later she says, “You know what would make a great Christmas present for me? If you shaved off the beard.” What’s a guy to do? How lucky you are to have that woman! First she is honest with you and she is willing to tell you what she wants. Second, she did not ask for expensive jewelry or a cruise or a bigger house or another child to make her happy; she asked for a shave! A shave for crying out loud! I wish I could make my wife happy with something so trivial. Shave. Hair grows back whenever you want it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, "It is just as I feared! --- Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren Have all built their nests in my beard." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raylan Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Luckily enough none of my wives had mustaches or beards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie MacNeil, SASS #48580 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I shaved my mustache off many moons ago, kept the lip bare for a month or so then grew the 'stache back 'cause I really hate shavin' my upper lip! Hurts too much! Haven't shaved my upper lip since... My lovely bride doesn't seem to be taken with the waxed handlebars I'm sporting now, but I like it, and she's not complaining any more than usual, which actually ain't all that much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 My wife loves facial hair on men. Since I was 19, I've sported a mustache. Most of my family wouldn't know what I look like without my 'stache. When I retired from the Army, I decided to grow a beard for the wife. I don't have a lot of facial hair so my beard looked terrible with holes, patches, and rough spots. I finally declared "crop failure" and shaved it off; just keeping the 'stache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cactus Jack Calder Posted July 24, 2019 Share Posted July 24, 2019 Benny A man named Benny consulted a Gypsie Fortune Teller, and asked how can I live forever? The Gypsie sold him a bottle of magic elixir. She told him if he drank the elixir and never cut his hair or shaved his beard he would never age and live forever. However, if he drank the elixir and then cut his hair or shaved his beard he would be turned into a Grecian Urn. Benny did as instructed and lived a long and generally satisfying life. The only thing Benny lacked was a family, as women were turned off by his exceptionally long locks and beard. Finally after many years Benny met a beautiful young woman who was willing to get to know him. Once Benny had known her for a while he realized she was the love of his life and he asked her to marry him. The young lady replied that she would marry Benny only if he would cut his hair and shave his beard. Benny was so thrilled he forgot what the Gypsie had told him. Benny rushed to the Barbershop and said ‘Give me the works’. The Barber began to shave Benny’s beard and he was immediately transformed into a Grecian Urn. The moral of this story is “A Benny shaved is a Benny Urned”! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellgate #3302 L Posted July 25, 2019 Author Share Posted July 25, 2019 I guess I'll count my blessings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 On 7/21/2019 at 10:02 PM, Henry T Harrison said: My wife and I have been together for over forty years she has never seen me without my mustache Same here it's been on my face since I met her in '73 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 I recall having an Economics Professor at the University of South Carolina that had a full beard and mustache when I first took his class. About mid-way through the semester, he came in cleanly shaved. Most of us were hesitant to ask him why he had completely shaved; however, a brave young lady did the inquiry for us. His reply: "My wife is due to have our first child, and when he is born, I wanted to make sure he recognized his father from when he was first conceived" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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