Subdeacon Joe Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Wilderness Safety Tip: When lost in the forest say aloud “Man, it’s good to get away. This is exactly what I needed. Peace and quiet.” Loud noisy people will be along shortly and they will have electronics. NEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Essential items in anyone survival kit are a deck of cards and two bottles - one of gin and one vermouth. If you get lost, take out the cards and deal a hand of solitaire. Someone will soon come along and tell you to play the black jack on the red queen. If, for some unknown reason, this does not work, take out the two bottles. Someone will shortly come along and tell you the correct way to mix a martini. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Heck, just say aloud that SASS needs more shooting categories. People will appear out of nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chili Ron Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Howdy, I just say anything. Someone always argues with me. Best CR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty Hill, sass # 49256 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Isn't that the truth, locates are accurate.....MOST of the time. (I used to be a backhoe Operator). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty Hill, sass # 49256 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 13 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Isn't that the the truth. Locates are accurate ......MOST of the time (I used to be a backhoe orerator) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I have 2 methods if I get lost in a forest. 1 or the other walays works. First I shoot a shot our of my gun. Then I wait for the game warden come to see why I was hunting out of season. Or I carry a small axe and start cutting down a tree. And sit back and wait for the forest ranger to come and wirte me a citation. Two of the nosiest critters on Gods green earth are Game Wardens and Forest Rangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 Yup... Tascosa's got it dialed in. I've hiked miles into the forest and had a warden step out from behind a tree to "greet" me. Been accused by a ranger of polluting the woods, until I showed him my backpack full of trash I'd picked up. And more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 Wilderness Safety Tip: When lost sit down and mimic animal calls of the animals that Sierra Club and other outdoor associations enjoy. Hikers will be along shortly to share their Gorp and point you in the right direction out of there: Wilderness Safety Tip: When lost in the Forrest do not yell for help or do any of the signaling that one may have learned in Scouting or in the military. Simply shout “Hey, I got 3 bars over here” or “Hey, I have a signal” every few minutes. Someone will be along shortly. It may be best to be prepared for a heated discussion on why they can’t get any bars once they arrive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. James H. Callahan Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 These two Aggies went deer hunting one time, and after a few hours became hopelessly lost and were wondering what to do. One had taken a Hunter Safety course, and said if you get lost, you should shoot three shots in the air as a universal distress signal. They tried it twice, waited an hour between volleys, no results. One said "Well, I don't know what to do other than try it again." Other Aggie said "Well, you'll have to shoot this time. I'm all out of arrows." JHC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 1 hour ago, Capt. James H. Callahan said: These two Aggies went deer hunting one time, and after a few hours became hopelessly lost and were wondering what to do. One had taken a Hunter Safety course, and said if you get lost, you should shoot three shots in the air as a universal distress signal. They tried it twice, waited an hour between volleys, no results. One said "Well, I don't know what to do other than try it again." Other Aggie said "Well, you'll have to shoot this time. I'm all out of arrows." JHC Best joke I've heard in a long time. Im a gonna keep it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oklahomabound Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us." So they shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again; still no response. Finally the second hunter said, "I suppose we can try again, but it better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 It’s Deja Vu all over again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 That one is closer to the way I originally heard it, although in the one I heard they were Polish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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