"Hold The Chart And Watch This"

[Subdeacon Joe]

Found on Facebook:

[Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646]

Whatever works

 

Imis

[Pat Riot]

I still say the Russians infiltrated the school systems in the 50’s and 60’s and Wallah! We have today’s dumbassery! 

[Major Crimes]

What never gets old?

 

Conspiracy Theories and unvaccinated kids.

 

Anyone who can look at photo's like this and not thank God for the Polio Vaccine (and the others) is a heartless fool!

[Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172]

Obviously you guys don't have tin hats.  Russians, Smussians.  We are being invaded by THEM. 

THEM being those folks from Roswell.  They have invaded our bodies and walk among us. 

Oh look, a squirrel...…..

[J-BAR #18287]

Natural Selection applies to humans as well as other living things.  Unfortunately it’s often the kids who pay the price.

[Noz]

15 hours ago, Major Crimes said:

What never gets old?

 

Conspiracy Theories and unvaccinated kids.

 

Anyone who can look at photo's like this and not thank God for the Polio Vaccine (and the others) is a heartless fool!

We had several kids in my small rural school who spent time in iron lungs.  I was unsure as to what was going on but I was aware that my Mother was scared to death for quite some time until the vaccine( administered by a drop of vaccine on a sugar cube) became available to us.

[Trailrider #896]

Summer was always considered "The Polio Season" when I was a boy.  Stay away from crowds.  So what does my Mom (may she rest in Peace these eight years) do?  She enrolls me in a swimming class at the local Y.  (Of course, it wasn't known back then that polio can be a water-borne disease.  Fortunately, I escaped!  I remember well, while on a car trip with my folks, that the FDA had approved the Salk polio vaccine shots.  Soon as we got home from the trip my pediatrician was able to get the doses (three, plus an annual booster, IIRC).  Later, the oral (on the sugar cube) Sabin vaccine came out.

 

I had most of the "childhood" diseases that they now have vaccines for.  No ill effects, thankfully, but I knew at least one 20-year old who got the measles...and was rendered stone deaf by it! So "Mary" on Little House on the Prairie" going blind wasn't just Hollywood!

 

Good for the attending doc!

[Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103]

Back when dirt was young and so was I, back when I was in Paramedic Clinicals, I was in ER -- I showed up dressed as I would for a duty shift with Byrd Ambulance: pressed slacks, Wellington boots mirror polished, shirt and tie and a whitecoat.

My ER contact was ... let's call him Tony ... magnificent Afro, shocking red, Irish-blue eyes and milk-pale skin, and ornery as a sack full of cats.

Frequent flyer came in, drug seeking (there was drug seeking behavior even back then, believe it or not!) so Tony pulls me aside with a syringe and an orange.
"Doctor," he said, "here is how you give an injection."
I gave it a few practice pokes and he pronounced me proficient.

He said, "We're going to demonstrate the Psychosomatic Effect.  You are going to tell this patient she's getting something that'll make her feel so much better."

It's said there is an angel sitting on each shoulder, one will whisper wise counsel, the other ... well, I'll leave it to you to guess which one was whispering in my ear.

The other one was laughing too hard to say anything.

I strode in and Tony introduced me as Dr. So-and-so, and I gave her a frowning examination -- eyes, glands, tendon-reflex, then I gave her a very serious look and asked her a few questions, things she'd already complained about.

"Oh, yes, Doctor, that's exactly what I've been feeling!"

I nodded, pretended to consider, then I looked at Tony and nodded again.

"I want you to consider this very carefully," I said.  "We are in a test program for an experimental painkiller. This is several times more potent than the synthetic morphine we give terminal cancer patients. I understand you're used to opiates, which make you an ideal test subject." 

She started to say something.

I held up a cautioning hand to cut her off.

"It has a stair-step effect. You'll feel something like a velvet sledgehammer hit you fifteen seconds after the injection, so I want you to hold very still.  You'll start to feel it right away but the bottom drops out from under you at fifteen seconds.  At thirty seconds you'll stabilize and you'll be able to walk again, but I want you to sit for three more minutes before you leave.  Do you understand my instructions thus far?"

She nodded, big-eyed, almost licking her lips in anticipation.

"For the rest of the day I do NOT want you operating power tools, motor vehicles, heavy machinery, making legal decisions or going near swimming pools.  Do you understand?"

Again the quick, jerky, eager double-nod.

I looked over at Tony.

He was behind her shoulder, chewing on his knuckle to keep from laughing, his Irish-white face was absolutely scarlet:  he was barely able to hold out the tray with the loaded syringe.

I gave her a deltoid IM injection of sterile saline; I was barely able to lay the syringe back on the tray before I had to seize her by the upper arms to keep her from falling off the table:  her pupils were not just dilated, they went WHAM! wide-open dead-black, and I looked very sternly into her eyes and in my most hypnotic, persuasive, gently persuasive voice, said "Stay with me now, look at my eyes, it's starting to max out in five, four, three, two, one" -- at one, her eyes rolled back and she had all the substance of a baggie of ground beef.

I picked her up and laid her out on the ER cart, I checked her blood pressure and stayed with her for the next five minutes, talking quietly to her all the time.

I talked her back into consciousness, and when she left, again with due cautions about moving equipment, chain saws, car crushers and swimming pools ... well, Tony had his hand on my shoulder as she went high stepping out of ER, and he shook my hand and pronounced my technique flawless.