Success At Last

[Yul Lose]

My little local liquor store, which prides itself on having over a hundred different selections of single malt scotch, has a parrot whose life I saved early last winter. When I first went in there when the bird was new I noticed that it was freezing to death because they leave the doors open from open until they close. Well this poor bird was in a cage shivering like a naked Eskimo in Alaska. I brought the store clerks attention to the matter and he, Jesus (Haysoos) said that he had just got the bird and didn’t know much about them so I told him to put a cover over the cage and sit a heater underneath to warm the bird up and sure enough the parrot survived. Well a few months ago I started saying “Jesus (Haysoos) where’s your scotch” every time I went in there, two or three times a week and no not always for scotch. Anyway I went into the store today to get a bottle of scotch and the bird says “ Haysoos where’s your scotch”? and it sounds just like I do.

 

I asked Jesus (Haysoos) if I could teach him how to say other stuff and he told me only if there wasn’t any swearing so I said “You bet your a$$” when I walked by the parrot cage this afternoon.

[J-BAR #18287]

You are my hero!  You helped an animal and you buy at least one bottle of single malt per week. 

 

Salud!  

[Yul Lose]

I asked Jesus (Haysoos) why the bird didn’t speak Spanish because that’s what they talk around there most of the time and with a perfectly straight face he says “He doesn’t understand it”. That was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

There are many stories about the African Grey parrot, Nigel, that went missing for four years and learned Spanish while gone.

 

 

 

 

[Pat Riot]

There was a gun store in Pennsylvania that my Dad frequented. The first time my Dad went there when he walked through the door he heard a gruff voice say “Hi there, wanna but a gun?”. My Dad looked around but saw no one but he answered anyway “Just looking around, thanks”. Then he heard it again “Hi there, wanna but a gun?”

It was a Myna Bird in a cage behind the counter. The bird sounded like the owner and said all kinds of gun related stuff.

 

I was in a veterinarian’s office with my dog. As we were waiting there was a green parrot making noises and whistling. A lady came in with a cat and the bird immediately started saying “Here kitty, kitty, kitty...” It was funny but an odd thing to teach a bird.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

16 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

There was a gun store in Pennsylvania that my Dad frequented. The first time my Dad went there when he walked through the door he heard a gruff voice say “Hi there, wanna but a gun?”. My Dad looked around but saw no one but he answered anyway “Just looking around, thanks”. Then he heard it again “Hi there, wanna but a gun?”

It was a Myna Bird in a cage behind the counter. The bird sounded like the owner and said all kinds of gun related stuff.

 

I was in a veterinarian’s office with my dog. As we were waiting there was a green parrot making noises and whistling. A lady came in with a cat and the bird immediately started saying “Here kitty, kitty, kitty...” It was funny but an odd thing to teach a bird.

Yeah but a bird in a cage five feet off the floor can torment a cat.

[MizPete]

Our vet took in a parrot after its owner died.  Decades later, the bird was still calling for the butler.

[Shotgun Willie Nelson]

8 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

I was in a veterinarian’s office with my dog. As we were waiting there was a green parrot making noises and whistling. A lady came in with a cat and the bird immediately started saying “Here kitty, kitty, kitty...” It was funny but an odd thing to teach a bird.

I'm trying to teach ours that now. Of course he stays out in the sun room patio with my wife's dozen cats.

We used to have a cockatiel that would whistle Dixie, repeat "Pretty Bird" over and over and then say "Shut up Stupid!" 

[Charlie Plasters, SASS#60943]

Dad used to tell the story about a parrot that the neighbors had. They had acquired it from an old sailor. When dads parents would bird sit, the bird would often go off with some pretty colorful language whereupon, the cage would be put in the bathtub, covered and water run; the bird immediately became startled and said "Polly won't swear no more".

[Sedalia Dave]

My buddy in Spain had a Green parrot. When he got married the household gained a cat.  Usually when they left they would lock the parrot in its cage.  One day they forgot and when they got home and opened the door there were a few feathers on the floor along with a couple of tufts of cat fur. When they got into the room where the cage was the cat was inside the birdcage and the parrot was on top.  That cat was very glad to be inside the cage. Took two of us two get the cat out of the cage. AFAIK the cat never attempted to eat the parrot ever again.

[Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217]

I wanna parrot now!

 

Yul, this is a great thread!

[Yul Lose]

15 minutes ago, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said:

I wanna parrot now!

 

Yul, this is a great thread!

After all of us kids had left home my dad bought a gray parrot like bird and they kept it in the living room. Dad used very colorful language  most of the time and the bird picked it up. Whenever I’d bring the practice wife and kids up to visit my mom would stick the parrot in their bedroom because she didn’t want it cussing in front of the kids, dad could get away with it but not the bird.

[Smoken D]

We could write books with stories having 2 Macaw's, 2 African Gray's, Cockatoo, cat, dog, did have conure, yellow naped, but here is one with the yellow naped.

Wife and friend were in the back room playing with some of the other birde and the yellow naped was on the perch in the living room. Friend's husband comes to the screen door which is locked, knocks and the naped yells out, "Come on in". Brian calls back, "I can't, the door is locked". Of course Baby Bird calls out again, "Come on in". All along Brian is knocking and calling out that he can't because the door is locked. This goes on for around five minutes till one of the girls finally hears Brian and goes to the door to let him in. Brian never did believe them because the bird sounded just like my wife.

Now that same bird had a habit of yelling, " Helllllllllp, Hellllllp"!!!!  Which sounded like a little old lady. You can guess how that went when the windows were open. 

If you ever get a bird like these, make sure you are careful what TV programs they watch. We kept the birds in a room to their selves with the TV. Usually Sesame Street is on, which is OK because Carlton the African Gray can now count to ten, but all of a sudden the birds were screaming and yelling, bouncing up and down on their perches. We went running into the room to see what was going on and on the TV was chants of " Jerry, Jerry"! Of course it was the Jerry Springer Show and the fights were going on. Changed channels real fast. 

They will learn everything you don't want them too and refuse to repeat everything you are trying to get them to say. Each one can sing a different song.

[Lorelei Longshot, SASS #44256 Life]

We had a small parrot (I think they are called beegee parrots) when I was a child.  We were teaching her to say "cracker."  What she learned was, "Say cracker. Cracker." She stayed out on the screened porch since we didn't have air conditioning and would yell, "Shut up, Chris." when the dog barked.  Once she told the mailman "Hi stupid" as he walked past the porch which had bushes and vines that hid her from view.  When anyone knocked on the screen door, she'd yell, "Come in Pat" who was our next door neighbor. Every time the telephone rang, she'd say "Hello, then mumble something for a while, then say Good bye."

[Cypress Sun]

A man goes into a pet store to buy a parrot. There is only one parrot in the store so the man asks the owner "How much for the parrot?" Owner replies "You don't want this parrot, he was raised in a saloon and cusses like a sailor." The man says "I really want this parrot, how much?" The owner says "I'll give you the parrot and cage if you'll take it and never return it" The man agrees and takes the parrot home.

Once at home the man asks "Polly want a cracker?" Parrot replies "Screw (not the real word) you." The man tells the parrot "We are a god fearing household and do not swear in this house....now, Polly want a cracker?" Parrot replies "Screw you". The man immediately grabs the parrot and puts him in the freezer. After 15 minutes, he removes the parrot from the freezer and asks "Have you learned your lesson?" Parrot replies "Yes, what did the turkey do?"