Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum
Sign in to follow this  
Subdeacon Joe

It's Prom Season

Recommended Posts

That's the way it's done.  Since she has no corsage, as yet;  I'm assuming her date has just pulled up to the curb. Set the proper tone, right from the beginning.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Proms are all about traditions.  In our family, we aren't so gauche as to have firearms present when the dates come to pick up the girls. 

 

We sharpen knives.  :lol:

 

Big hunting knives or bayonets are a favorite.  Nothing settles a young man's ardor and 'focuses' his noble intentions like sitting across the table from a man slowly passing the edge of a 10" Bowie across a well oiled bench stone or stropping the freshly honed blade before checking the edge with a thumb or against the hair on the back of a hand.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter had a  date pick her up once. 

He was cocky and arrogant, showed up smoking a cigarette. 

She was having problems with shoes or something so she was still upstairs. 

 

First thing out of his mouth after sitting down was "is this where you start telling me about the guns you have and what you'll do to me if I touch your daughter?"

No, this where I tell you about my shovel and 180 acre property. How my neighbors love me and could never see me harming a fly.  They would never find you. 

 

20 minutes later his mom called my wife horrified. 

No, he would never say that to Tim.... was all she said with a smile. 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bill Engvall does a great comedy bit about his daughter dating, He and the boy are waiting on the couch while she is finishing getting ready.  He says 'boy that little girl is everything to me, you treat her right because I ain't got no issue with going back to prison'!. Or something along those lines. Funny stuff.

IKe

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, grey ghost said:

First thing out of his mouth after sitting down was "is this where you start telling me about the guns you have and what you'll do to me if I touch your daughter?"

 

No, this where I tell you about my shovel and 180 acre property. How my neighbors love me and could never see me harming a fly.  They would never find you

No, this is where I tell you to get your ass outa my house. Not only are you not dating her tonight, you're not dating her, period.

 

Similar to that Lonesome Dove quote about "I hate rudeness in a man", I hate smartassedness in a kid, and I won't put up with it.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On the morning of my oldest granddaughter's wedding her intended ask me if I was OK with the wedding. I told him as long as he never gave me a reason to shoot him I was happy as could be. So far so good.

 

Imis

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, grey ghost said:

My daughter had a  date pick her up once. 

He was cocky and arrogant, showed up smoking a cigarette. 

She was having problems with shoes or something so she was still upstairs. 

 

First thing out of his mouth after sitting down was "is this where you start telling me about the guns you have and what you'll do to me if I touch your daughter?"

No, this where I tell you about my shovel and 180 acre property. How my neighbors love me and could never see me harming a fly.  They would never find you. 

 

20 minutes later his mom called my wife horrified. 

No, he would never say that to Tim.... was all she said with a smile. 

Should have added that your cousin- that thinks the world of your daughter- has a backhoe, so you even have to work up a sweat digging the hole or filling it in.:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, grey ghost said:

My daughter had a  date pick her up once. 

He was cocky and arrogant, showed up smoking a cigarette. 

She was having problems with shoes or something so she was still upstairs. 

 

First thing out of his mouth after sitting down was "is this where you start telling me about the guns you have and what you'll do to me if I touch your daughter?"

No, this where I tell you about my shovel and 180 acre property. How my neighbors love me and could never see me harming a fly.  They would never find you. 

 

20 minutes later his mom called my wife horrified. 

No, he would never say that to Tim.... was all she said with a smile. 

 

My daughter had a date like that once..."HAD" being the key word. I sent the punk packing..and I did show him my 1911. Little #@$%#&*%$#^%,! He's lucky I didn't shoot his arse right then and there.

 

Most of my daughter's dates were very respectful. The word was out on me...and I made sure I reiterated and amplified everything they may have heard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, grey ghost said:

No, this where I tell you about my shovel and 180 acre property. How my neighbors love me and could never see me harming a fly.  They would never find you. 

 

 

I'm stealing this. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My youngest niece had a boyfriend that I got to know a little.  When they broke up, one of her "friends" tried to stir up some drama by lying and saying the the boy intended to "get even" for getting dumped.  When she told me about it, I told her that he wouldn't do that because, while we never talked about it, he and I had an understanding.  Once she got the chance to confront him with what she was being told, she said the first words out of his mouth was that he'd never do anything like that in the first place followed quickly by if he ever did, he was certain that he would have to answer to me and, for some reason, he didn't think that would be a pleasant, or long, experience. 

 

She accused me of threatening him but I, honestly,  hadn't said even a harsh word to the boy.  He was right, but that's because he was paying attention, not because of anything that I had said.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When my daughter was 16 and in high school, she had two brothers, 17 & 18, both in the same high school.  She used to complain that no one would ever ask her out on a date, because they knew they had to deal with her big brothers if they messed up.

 

And she looked at me and said "and then there's you."

 

I asked her what she meant, and she said "NO boy my age wants to piss you off."

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My college girlfriend's granddad came over with a sixteen gauge model 12 Winchester and a broad grin.

I tried to trade him out of it.  (The gun, not the broad grin!)

He wouldn't trade.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just remember to tell the boy

 

Guns don't kill people,

 

Dads with pretty daughters kill people

 

Got that from a friends t shirt

 

Regards

 

:FlagAm: :FlagAm: :FlagAm:

 

Gateway Kid

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter told her daughter's (Brianne), if they got out of line they would have to face Brianne's grandfather and he had a "big assed gun".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kaya last year for her prom.

IMG_20180428_164001561.jpg

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/17/2019 at 3:08 PM, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

I sent the punk packing..

& then yr daughter has no date for prom and hates you forever.  I still haven't forgiven my Dad for not letting me go to a dance in the 8th grade.

Different, but related, topic:  my Mama (nor I my daughter) would not have let me out of the house in what passes for a prom dress these days.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, MizPete said:

& then yr daughter has no date for prom and hates you forever.  I still haven't forgiven my Dad for not letting me go to a dance in the 8th grade.

Different, but related, topic:  my Mama (nor I my daughter) would not have let me out of the house in what passes for a prom dress these days.

It wasn’t Prom, Miz Pete. It was a date...that he didn’t go on with my daughter. And she thanked me later once she realized what a piece of excrement he was.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎5‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 8:06 PM, Michigan Slim said:

Kaya last year for her prom.

IMG_20180428_164001561.jpg

Then Kaya really doesn't need an armed Dad does she

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another little thing about daughters and the fathers that love them.

Both my daughters future husbands got this little talk from me and listened.  Then of course I was 6' 4'' and 230 with a know bad disposition.

" Son I know people get mad at each other and they grow apart and get divorces and that's your business not mine, but you ever hit her or any child you will be dealing with me".  The oldest daughters new inlaws were standing there beside him.  The father a retired Army Command Sergeant Major said "I'll hold him"  She corrected me "with us".   What a wonderful man he is not because of any threat I made but because mom and dad in both cases did their job.  The younger daughters hubby nor his parents reacted  to my statement the marriage ended poorly but in the end he was terrified that she would tell me he hit her.     

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife's dad said, "The shotgun's loaded."  :unsure:

 

 

 

 

 

.

Edited by Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.