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Widder, SASS #59054

Double Oxymoron

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When the soldier was shipped overseas, his family said:

 

He left right handed.

When he returned, he would write left hand.

 

Why does the dump truck have a sign on the back that reads:  :Stay back 100 feet"  but the

print is so small, you can only read it within about 25 feet.

 

How come apartments are attached to each other and compounds are separate?

 

..........Widder

 

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Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

 

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Why do women typically wear one bra, but a pair of panties?

 

(Borrowed from an old George Carlin routine.)

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Why is the opposite of progress Congress?

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Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut.

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Why did Kamikaze Pilots wear helmets?

 

..........Widder

 

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Why do they sterilize the needles used for lethal injections?

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What do you do when your hot water heater goes out?

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I served in a Military Intelligence company.

 

Imis

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If parks can have walking paths and bike paths, then why can't the walkways at psychiatric hospitals be called psycho paths?

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17 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

Why did Kamikaze Pilots wear helmets?

 

That was really dark, but I like it. :lol:

 

I also always wondered why transporting things by vessel is called cargo, but transporting it by land is a shipment. :huh:

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Two guys, high on pain killers, drop their bikes in your yard and ring your doorbell....

Oh no, not oxymormons again!

 

(For the pun only.  No hatred or insult intended.)

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On 4/29/2019 at 7:42 PM, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

Why do they sterilize the needles used for lethal injections?

I have wondered this very thing, for many years.

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Also, why the big deal about suffering for the damn criminal? Unfortunately I've had do the deed with aged pets and none have appeared to suffer in my arms. Maybe the prisons should just call in a Veterinarian.

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On ‎4‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 4:58 AM, Shotgun Willie Nelson said:

What do you do when your hot water heater goes out?

Why are you heating hot water?

 

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Leave us say that you have a 40 gallon water heater. Leave us further say that it is still set at the factory default - 140°.

 

It is full of hot water - correct?

 

Now let us open the valve and drain 10 gallons of it into the tub.

 

When the 10 gallons of 140° water ran out of the heater, it was replaced with 10 gallons of tap water. Correct?

 

Let us say, just for funzies, that the tap water is 60°.

 

With 30 gallons of 140° water and 10 gallons of 60° water, the temperature of the water in your heater is 120 degrees.

 

Would you agree that 120° water is hot?

 

If, however, you go listen to your water heater, you will hear that it is working. It is heating the 120° hot water in the tank up to the 140° it is supposed to be.

 

It is heating hot water.

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Posted (edited)
On 4/30/2019 at 5:01 AM, Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 said:

I served in a Military Intelligence company.

 

Imis

Thatanswers a LOT of questions about a LOT of things and brings up a LOT more questions.  :P  :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Forty Rod SASS 3935
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How come the glue doesn't stick to the inside of the container?

 

Why are they called "breezeways" when theres no breeze

 

Why are APARTments so close together?

 

Can you sleep all night on a day bed?

 

Is it still a breakfast nook if you eat lunch or dinner there?

 

Can you hate someone when you're sitting on a LOVE seat?

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Even though an Elephant can lift one half of his weight, and an Ant can lift 80 times his weight, an Ant cannot lift an Elephant!  Good night,  Hoss C,

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If the plural of "mouse" is "mice,"  is the plural of "spouse"...."spice"???

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SO ………

 

 

 

 

 

 …….. is a double oxymoron 1 idjut with 2 blowtorches OR 2 idjuts with a blowtorch each ?  :huh:

 

 

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It's two idjuts with one torch, amd they can't figger how to make it work.

 

I just had a vision, of a forest fire started by someone attempting to cut a tree down using a cutting torch.

 

That would be an oxymoron.

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2 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

I always thought that a oxymoron was a idjut with a blowtorch …….

 

:o

I always thought it was an Ox that was a moron!:o

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