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Alpo

Ah, the put-down

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Posted (edited)

Book. Woman has anger and self-control issues. Seeing a therapist, who tells her to wait and count to ten before exploding.

 

Next session. "How did you do?"

 

She tells how a co-worker put something in the wrong place, again. "I wanted to yell and call her a stupid ________ __________ ____ , but I remembered what you said, and I counted to ten, and then asked her, 'Did your mother bathe in lead-based paint when she was pregnant with you?' "

 

 

Edited by Alpo
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My nephew was several bricks short of a chimney when some similarly challenged  member of the opposite gender married him. They proceeded to procreate and blamed all subsequent problems on lead paint.

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3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

My nephew was several bricks short of a chimney when some similarly challenged  member of the opposite gender married him. They proceeded to procreate and blamed all subsequent problems on lead paint.

I think they might be my neighbor

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4 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

several bricks short of a chimney

 

I've not seen that one before.   I must remember it.

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A few fries short of a Happy Meal

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Posted (edited)

Dumber than a grubbin' hoe!!

 

Dumber than a fishin' worm.

 

Sharp as a bowling ball!

Edited by Blackwater 53393
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Dumber than a box of hair.

 

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

 

Dumber than the current politician of the 14th congressional district of NY

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15 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

My nephew was several bricks short of a chimney when some similarly challenged  member of the opposite gender married him. They proceeded to procreate and blamed all subsequent problems on lead paint.

 

Don't recall hearing it exactly like that, but for many years,  I've heard..... "He/She is A few bricks shy of a full load".

 

Lots of folks say... "their elevator don't go all the way to the top".

 

..........Widder

 

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Not the sharpest pencil in the cup.

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1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

Don't recall hearing it exactly like that, but for many years,  I've heard..... "He/She is A few bricks shy of a full load".

 

Lots of folks say... "their elevator don't go all the way to the top".

 

..........Widder

 

I know a few whose elevator is stuck in the basement.

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"Dumb as a bucket of shrimp!" -Det Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence)  Bad Boys 2

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My uncle liked to say "he's a can short of a six-pack". Not sure how common that one was.

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Dumber than a steel wheeled rake.

 

Dumber than a box of rocks.

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Not travelin with a full sea bag.

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Posted (edited)

Not the sharpest spoon in the drawer.:D

 

On the site that I argue politics, I have been known to ask someone that's angry if the left their crayons on the short bus again.

 

For the record, Leftist trolls do NOT appreciate being called window licker for some reason.  Also, don't mention their helmet, tell them when Kroger has tin foil on sale so they can freshen up their tin foil helmet liner or mention anything about their mom's basement apartment their job at the 7-11 or the laundromat and NEVER ask them about the data plan on their Obamaphone.

Edited by Smuteye John SASS#24774
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20 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

It’s an original.

Too dumb to pee a hole in a snow bank.  (Thanks, Dad.  You gave me some good material to work with.)

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Too dumb to pour pee out of a boot, even if the directions were written on the sole.  

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the wheels on their bus don't go 'round and 'round

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Porch light's on but NOBODY'S HOME!!

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Their stairway doesn't go all the way to the top.

 

Their cornbread ain't done in the middle.

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Her/his attic is empty.

Her/his attic is filled with broken toys.

 

STL Suomi

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He/she has the IQ of their shoe size.

 

Missing a few dots on his dice.

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Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

If clues were shoes he would be barefoot.

Doesn't know his azz from a hole in the ground.

 

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If his brain was dynamite it wouldn't tip his hat!

 

 

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He/she isn't just clueless!  They don't even SUSPECT anything!!!

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