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Baptist Pastor Resigns In Disgrace


Subdeacon Joe

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Local Southern Baptist pastor Pete Harrison resigned in disgrace earlier this week after admitting that he doesn't like eating casseroles.

 

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The scandal unfolded after a church congregant unearthed comments made by Harrison in a recorded sermon over 10 years ago, in which Harrison said he preferred "something healthy like a nice garden salad" to "fatty, unhealthy casseroles."

Dozens of angered church members stormed Harrison's home with pitchforks and torches hastily assembled out of the church's unused front pew, demanding answers. The pastor emerged, frightened and sheepish, and made a statement.

"I apologize to all those I've hurt," he mumbled as several elderly church ladies began fashioning a Molotov cocktail to throw through his window. "It's clear to me now that I'm unfit for ministry. Please accept my resignation, and for the love of all that is holy, don't hurt me!"

 

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46 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

That is like attacking Mormon womens' green Jell-O with shredded carrots or funeral potatoes.  He's lucky to have escaped alive.  :P  :lol:

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I thought I was the only deviant!  I'm married to a Lutheran minister's daughter.  Her whole family loves casseroles.  I can't stand them or the idea of a "pot-luck" dinner.  You'll recognize me at the voters meeting after the service.  I'm the guy with the bag of take-out food sitting by myself. 

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14 minutes ago, TN Mongo, SASS #61450 said:

I thought I was the only deviant!  I'm married to a Lutheran minister's daughter.  Her whole family loves casseroles.  I can't stand them or the idea of a "pot-luck" dinner.  You'll recognize me at the voters meeting after the service.  I'm the guy with the bag of take-out food sitting by myself. 

That’s worse than buying two burritos before taking the red eye and opening them an hour before landing.

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That preacher Harrison doesn't like casseroles!  :o  Goodness!!  He wouldn't even qualify to shoot in the Baptist Category.

 

Harrison probably drank alcoholic beverages and danced too!! -_-

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4 minutes ago, Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 said:

That preacher Harrison doesn't like casseroles!  :o  Goodness!!  He wouldn't even qualify to shoot in the Baptist Category.

 

Harrison probably drank alcoholic beverages and danced too!! -_-

 

I guess I'm out too; I hate casseroles. 

 

 

The Baptists around here don't really have a problem with dancing, so not sure why that's excluded(Ecclesiastes 3:4)

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I hate casseroles. My mom used to come up with some that were absolutely terrible and we had to sit there until we choked them down. Haven’t had any since I left home.

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I was raised on casseroles.  Mom had to figure out a way to disguise leftovers because dad didn't like leftovers.  I don't mind them.  I think of them like pot pies and the like.  It was either casseroles or soup at our house.  We ate a lot of soup too.  Good thing dad traveled a lot.  I got tired of meat and potatoes, meat and potatoes, meat and potatoes.  My poor mother never could count on what time dad would come home from work so more often than not, the meat was cooked to the point it was unrecognizable.   Pork was cooked extra well done so you wouldn't get sick from trichinosis.  Old school cooking.  Mom could make gravy and gravy was required.  Not so much as a condiment but more as a beverage to rehydrate the meat.  My wife can whip up a great casserole.

Church food is always a little suspect.  I make a point to have my wife point out which one she brought so I know I'll get something decent to eat.  I was raised in the Lutheran church.  The church ladies have written books on the many ways to make Jello.  Much of it is inedible.

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6 hours ago, Tyrel Cody said:

 

I guess I'm out too; I hate casseroles. 

 

 

The Baptists around here don't really have a problem with dancing, so not sure why that's excluded(Ecclesiastes 3:4)

 

It’s ok if a Southern Baptists drinks as long as the shades are all down. They can also dance as long as they are in the next county. :P :D

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What an awful, horrible minister. Not liking casseroles? Why couldn’t he have just been a normal minister molesting his alter boys? At least then he wouldn’t have had to resign 

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6 hours ago, Redwood Kid said:

What an awful, horrible minister. Not liking casseroles? Why couldn’t he have just been a normal minister molesting his alter boys? At least then he wouldn’t have had to resign 

 

Baptist don't have alter boys.

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7 hours ago, Redwood Kid said:

What an awful, horrible minister. Not liking casseroles? Why couldn’t he have just been a normal minister molesting his alter boys? At least then he wouldn’t have had to resign 

 

 

A few years ago I did some digging into the stats.  Overall, about 2% of the general population molest underaged.  Clergy, ALL denominations and sects, it goes to about 3%.  TEACHERS in the school system is over 5%.  

So, saying that "normal" clergy molests children is like saying "normal" cops are racists and murderers.

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1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

A few years ago I did some digging into the stats.  Overall, about 2% of the general population molest underaged.  Clergy, ALL denominations and sects, it goes to about 3%.  TEACHERS in the school system is over 5%.  

So, saying that "normal" clergy molests children is like saying "normal" cops are racists and murderers.

First off, it was a joke. Second, those stats are for caught pedophiles. Nobody covers it up better than clergy 

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As an amateur chef, I have made a few casseroles, mostly so I can save ideas about how to make it better.  Then is called upon, my plan is to go into hyper experimentation mode making a half dozen different tries, testing and carry the test results to the soup kitchen and saving my preferred recipe and technique for the called upon result.

 

The one I hate the most is green bean casserole with those canned fried onions

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17 minutes ago, Chili Pepper Kid, SASS #60463 said:

There was a restaurant in Omaha that only served casseroles. Loved the tater tot casserole!!

I bet they had the recipes and techniques down pat.

 

okay, having said that, the recipes typically have come down through many cooks and can be great. But the techniques suffer from lack of training.  My mother always burnt the onions and she was not the only one. My grandmother left her pot roast on the stove until it was gone.

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Lasagna is about the only casserole I'll eat.  Schoolmarm makes a taco thing where she makes all of the tacos, stacks them in a casserole dish, and then bakes 'em in a cheesy sauce!!  It's good, but it needs to be eaten at the first sitting or the leftovers are liable to be a little greasy.

 

Reckon I'd never rate being a minister. I ain't into all that turmoil!!

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