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Boston Herald printed some chucklers about recent police contacts:


A woman who was low on gas pulled over in Leduc, Alberta, when she spotted some Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers and asked them for assistance. This, despite the fact that the car was stolen, and she and her two male passengers were all wanted on outstanding warrants. In addition, a search of the vehicle turned up 900 grams of methamphetamine, and 85 grams of cocaine. They are facing “a multitude of charges.”


I HAVE MY REPUTATION TO THINK OF … A woman returned to her Stuart, Fla., apartment after being “out all night drinking and abusing narcotics,” and told her boyfriend that she had engaged in a sexual threesome. He then called her “every name in the book.” She told officers who arrested her that she attacked him because she felt threatened, and didn’t call authorities on the boyfriend, because her landlord said he would make her leave “if the police keep showing up.”


BANNED!? ME!? BUT WHY!? I WASN’T SPEEDING! … A woman spent several hours riding around the parking lot of the Walmart in Wichita Falls, Texas, on an electric mobility scooter while drinking wine from a Pringles can. She has been banned from Walmart.


COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE … Police entered the Bunnell, Fla., apartment of a man wanted for kidnapping and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon to find a mattress propped up with writing on it: “I know my warrant is active. I’m not here. I am … turning myself in to Volusia Branch Jail!!” The cops searched the place, and found him hiding in a small wooden dresser.


HMMMM, WHAT COULD THIS BE I WONDER? … A man tried to board a flight from Berlin to Israel while smuggling a boa constrictor in a bag tied with a cord and stuffed down his trousers. Security personnel decided to search him when they noticed a large bulge in his pants.


THERE’S SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THIS GUY … A man who robbed a bank in New Haven, Conn., made no effort to disguise himself, and later paid for a hotel room with money covered in red dye.


AND WHO AM I TO ARGUE … When a police officer told a man to move his Ferrari off of a public dock on the Palm Beach Inlet, the guy got into the car and drove it into the water. He told the cop that “Jesus told me to.”


LADIES, LADIES, PLEASE!! … Six women got into a fight in a grocery store in Jackson, Miss., and started throwing cantaloupes and other produce at each other and hit a security guard over the head with a bottle of syrup when he tried to break it up.


HEY, WE’RE COPS TOO! … A man impersonating a police officer used his car, which was equipped with sirens and flashing blue lights, to try to pull over another vehicle. Alas, there were two Arizona state troopers in the other car. The impersonator pulled alongside and then in front of the troopers’ unmarked car and was very surprised when they turned on their siren and pulled him over.




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The older I get the more I believe that we need to find a way to identify certain people so that one can avoid them at all costs. Perhaps a forehead tattoo with color coding or with today’s technology they just get chipped and whenever they enter a public place a sensor detects them and an announcement is made:


”Attention: A complete moron has entered this facility. This moron has 3 warrants for their arrest and police have been called. Do not interact with this moron until police arrive. This moron is also a thief so keep an eye on him. He also wets the bed and rarely takes baths...don’t touch him!”

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In a certain area where I worked we called them, "BEMS". (Burger Eating Morons) Part of the East Zone patrons. :blink:

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Several years ago, I had a friend who was in the Narcotics Division of the local police force.  They had busted a drug dealer at his home.  While they were in the process of searching the residence, there was a ring at the door.  My friend was wearing his badge clearly visible  around his neck when he answered the door and some women repeatedly tried to get him to sell her some drugs. :huh:


Bless her heart.





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WICHITA FALLS, Texas — Police in northern Texas say a woman has been banned from a local Walmart after she spent several hours driving an electric shopping cart around the store's parking lot while drinking wine from a Pringles can.

Police tell the Times Record News that officers responded to a suspicious person call at about 9 a.m. Friday at a Walmart in Wichita Falls, about 125 miles (200 kilometers) northwest of Dallas.

Wichita Falls police spokesman Jeff Hughes says the woman had reportedly been riding the electric cart around the parking lot for about three hours.

Hughes says police eventually found the woman in a nearby restaurant and told her not to return to the store.

Police say the woman wasn't arrested and her name was not released.


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3 hours ago, Tascosa, SASS# 24838 said:

And we allow these people to breed?? If we had a horse or cow like that, guess what would happen?



3 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

  ……………..…………………….. seems that a lot of them can vote too   :(


In some states they are recognized, identified, and their votes mined (or harvested) by a certain political party.  <_<

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