DocWard Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 As a child? The humorous, much has already been covered. From my mother: "I'll give you something to cry about!" "Don't make me come up there!" "If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" The only real piece of wisdom I can recall my father giving me: "The only people not making mistakes aren't doing anything." (As I recall moments later, he criticized me for making a mistake) As for the profound, I grew up in the era of Nixon, Ford and Carter, so nothing earth shatteringly profound there. However, as I look back on my young adulthood, watching this still puts a lump in my throat: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diablo Blanco Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 The only thing worse than a Viet-Cong is a Viet-Cong sympathizer. Took me a long time to understand that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South-Eye Ned Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 From The Little Engine that Could”: I think I can, I think I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 If brains were gasoline you wouldn’t have enough to fuel a pissants motorcycle to go around a bb once. Ask your mother. Ask your father. Youll never get rich working for someone else. Were you born in a barn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 “Close the door! We’re not trying to heat the whole neighborhood!” ”Close the fridge! We’re not trying to cool the whole house!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Willie Nelson Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 On 11/16/2018 at 8:26 AM, Yul Lose said: Dammit!!! Until I was bout fifteen, I thought that was my name. On 11/16/2018 at 9:09 AM, Chase Randall, SASS #45902 said: Go get me a hickory !!! On 11/16/2018 at 8:00 PM, Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 said: That one STILL brings a shiver! Somehow it hurt worse when I had to pick the implement of my own chastisement! 10-4 +1 +1 Mine was always go cut a switch. Have to pick the implement, should have been classified as cruel and unusual punishment, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 Me-I have an idea Him- Treat it kindly, it's in a strange place Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 When I would voice my unsolicited opinion. my dad would say "You don't get a vote! You don't have a union card!" I got a 1/2 vote upon graduation from the University. (lesson - sit down, shut up, you are rocking the boat and you might just learn something) Strong advice "You can agree with me, tolerate me, or get the 4ELL out of here.: - the Fathers at the University echoed the same advice: I tolerated. (Lesson - The boss is always right, even when he is wrong.) When I threatened to run away - he would say "OK - Take your clothes off and hit the bricks - you came here naked and you can leave the same way." I stayed. (lesson - be thankful for what you have) Dad was a tough teacher of the ways of the world. When I would hurt myself, he would ask if the corresponding area on the opposite side hurt. When I would reply "NO" he would say, "You are only half hurt - get outta here". Mom would "fix" the owie! ( Lesson - No whining - no one cares) And if he said "vitus" - an Finnish word that encompasses almost all of the Anglo-Saxon vulgarities, we knew it was time to go away - far away - anywhere - quickly. (lesson - everyone had a button - do not push it) STL Suomi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Creek Law Dog Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 My mother was a messy housekeeper, she used to say to us kids. " Take your shoes off before you go outside, I don't want you dragging dirt out into the yard." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoky Pistols Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 Seventh grade English teacher--"Intelligent people are never bored". Funny thing is, I understood that immediately. I haven't been bored since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 19 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Think of all the starving children in China (or India). My mom always said something to that effect when I refused to eat something at dinner time. My response was usually "Is UPS open at this hour?". Note: don't be a smartass to your mom or dad until you're finally out of the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 Mom, what time is it? "Half-past kissin' time, time to kiss again!" "I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail." "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." After a really good dinner or suchlike: "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight?" [and we weren't rich, not hardly....] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 Or to quote my grandmother at Sunday dinner "You can't get food like this at a restaurant!" to which I always replied under my breath, "No they'd go out of business." unless mom made meatloaf in which case my response was "No, but maybe at the penitentiary..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 I was always told to think of all the poor kids in other lands that didn’t have anything to eat and one thing I never said again when Mom surprised (nauseated) us with a new dish was “I’ll trade them places”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nasty Newt # 7365 Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 I grew up hearing my dad use the expression, "You got a good scald on that." I knew it meant you did a good job, or performed some act just right, and I never wasted any time wondering about the derivation of the phrase.. I was grown before I learned that he was referring to the process of dipping a hog's dressed carcass in boiling water. If all the hair was gone, you "got a good scald on it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Want in one hand and [poop] in the other and see which one gets full first. There are 2 rules to living a happy life 1. Don't sweat the small [stuff] 2. It's all small [stuff] There are 3 rules to being successful in life (my dad liked lists. And cussing) 1. Never tell anyone everything you know Me: I got that from my dad Dad: I guess so ... If I ever meet that SOB, I'm gunna break his nose Probably the best advice my dad ever gave was: Never bet a man at his own game. (if you doubt this advice, then lets make a bet on how many drops of water are left in this glass. I'll give ya real good odds) But the most memorable wasn't words. It was the jingling that dad's belt buckle made when he took it off. It would send me and my sister running for the hills. At some point my sister stole it and hid it. After my dad died we found it and my sister wanted it to stay hidden. Just in case his spirit came back to visit her, she didn't want him finding it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Don't sweat the petty stuff. Don't pet the sweaty stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Nichols, SASS #6461 Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Son I can dress you and send you to school but you have to do the learning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
40Chev Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Not sure we got many pearls of wisdom - the two I do recall came from dad. 1. If you fell down in his viewing range it was "Crawl over here, I'll pick you up". 2. Standing in line waiting to board the bus to the induction center the day I got drafted I turned to him and said "I don't want to go". His reply "I didn't either". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. R. Hugh Kidnme Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 On 11/19/2018 at 4:35 PM, Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 said: Mom, what time is it? "Half-past kissin' time, time to kiss again!" "I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail." "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." After a really good dinner or suchlike: "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight?" [and we weren't rich, not hardly....] My Mother ( God rest her soul) used the last one a lot, in similar situations. And, we too, were far from rich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillbilly Drifter Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 My uncle used to say " live and learn...die and forget it all..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keystone, SASS # 47578 Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 From an aging History teacher & World War II Navy Vet to a male student unable to sufficiently answer a question in class, "You're like a rim on a bucket, all around it, but not in it." My father regarding mealtime, "You eat to live, not live to eat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Nichols, SASS #6461 Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 kinda rude but one of my most memorable from my dad ( army airborne DI and combat vet) life is hard if you go around being 6 oz of piss in a 4oz cup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 My boss when i was in college had a couple of good ones that I still remember. Difficult we can do. Impossible takes a little longer. I see said the blind man to his deaf dog. (I think there was more to this one but he always ran out of gas) The King James version was good enough for Paul and Silas, and it's good enough for me. A pre-millenialist believes Jesus will return before the millennium. A post-millennialist believes he will return after the millennium. I'm a pan-millennialist. I believe that whatever happens, it'll all pan out in the end. Don't worry, I skipped ahead and read the end of The Book. It all turns out OK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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