Horse humor

[Dorado]

Had a discussion today that brought back some memories. We were talking about horses and their sense of humor. Here was my contribution.

 

Back when I had horses, before each ride, I'd check their hooves and clean them out, trim their hooves and frogs as needed before saddling them. Each horse would "thank" me in a different way. The stud horse would wait until I've got his rear leg supported in mine before kicking out sending me rolling. My gelding would wait until my ear was next to his tail and would send a warm guttural fanfare my way.

The mare though...the stud's mother, would be as pleasant as can be until I started working her back feet. I would then feel her tail raise followed by tapping on my shoulder. If I moved away she'd stop and give me a looking saying "Why'd ya stop?". As soon as I got back to work though, the "tapping" would begin again.

I got so accustomed to this that I would always bring an extra shirt. One was my $#!+-shirt, the others would be my riding shirts.

They all had their riding quirks as well. Stud would buck and kick like a saddle-bronc, the mare was smooth like a Cadillac, the gelding liked walking under trees especially mesquite.

I remember all the injuries and work they created. Yet I still want a good horse to ride.

[Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663]

We can all learn something from a horse.

 

Horse Sense

by Anonymus

 

A horse can't pull while kicking.
This fact I merely mention.
And he can't kick while pulling,
Which is my chief contention.

Let's imitate the good old horse
And lead a life that's fitting;
Just pull an honest load, and then
There'll be no time for kicking.

[Pat Riot]

My experience with horses is very limited. 

I had a girl friend in high school that raised, showed and competed with horses. Quarter Horses. One of her horses hated men. Somehow every time I got around that horse he would do something to me. Tromp on my foot. Kick me. Bite me. Stand on my foot then lean me into the wall of the stall...his favorite. I put up with this to be with my girl and to try and impress her Dad. Who I found deserved no respect nor did he deserve my actions to get on his good side. He was and probably still is a sonofabetcha-thought-I-was-gonna-cuss.

The reason the horse hated men was because of the way that guy treated that horse. He used a cattle prod in it to get it to run the barrels faster. He also beat the horse. This piece of $&@# would hide a mini cattle prod up his sleeve and would prod the horse in competitions. At least he did until I dropped a dime on him and he was banned from competing. 

I never bore any ill will toward that horse. He was head strong but he didn’t deserve that treatment. 

[Finagler 6853 Life]

My time with horses is somewhat limited as I only owned a few for a few years.  I do however remember a memorable creature I rode while in Montana elk hunting.  Ol' Blue would walk down the trail and if a tree was next to the trail he would lean just far enough that your knee would catch and either hit or be scraped on the tree as you passed.  It never touched him but after 2 or 3 passings, it started to hurt.  Ol' Blue and I had a come to Jesus meeting.  The outfitter didn't say a word as he was watching after I mentioned it.  I wasn't abusive but my point was made.

 

Horses are dangerous on both ends and crafty in the middle - Sherlock Holmes movie.

[Guest Grass Range #51406]

Horses are known for trying to scrape off their load on trees but a mule as in our pack string will sidestep around a tree and not let the load touch

[Dorado]

My gelding liked pulling my buggy. Took him in a parade and was astonished that he stopped at every intersection. Took a few blocks before I saw that he would stop at the white line in the road.

[Trailrider #896]

I never had a problem with the outfitters' horses I rode when I went hunting. But one outfitter had a horse new to his cavvy.  That horse tried to kick one of the other "dudes", who raised his own horses.  No damage.  But one morning, before daybreak, the outfitter was riding the outlaw. Outfitter was shining a flashlight on the ground looking for elk tracks.  It spooked the horse, which reared straight up, and fell over backwards! The guide unloaded, but the horse twisted as he fell over, and the rider caught the saddle horn smack on the middle of his thigh!  Thought he might have broken the femur, but he was able to get up off the ground.  He had a newly restocked .300 Weatherby in a saddle scabbard, which was smashed to fine kindling!   Outfitter was so mad, he picked up the rifle and smacked the horse aside of its head!  He asked me to look at the remains of the rifle, which showed a bent barrel.  Don't know if that happened when the horse landed on it, or when he hit the horse.  I told him, I would never do that to the horse...I would have drawn my .44 Magnum Blackhawk and shot the s.o.b. right there!  Eventually, he had so much trouble with that horse, that he sold him off.  Turned out he had a badly bruised thigh.

 

Personally, give me a good riding mule!  Just ask Festus and BG George Crook.

[Captain Clark]

Nothing much better than a good horse.

Nothing much lower than a horse beater.

I learned that lesson when I was 14 maybe, a drunken SOB at a roping arena was going to "discipline" my horse which on that day I decided he wasn't!

Glad he was a lot of hot air and little of stature that day.

I can still see that drunken waste of air, but only in my mind as he got fatally kicked in the head a couple months later.... Ain't Karma a fickle woman !

 

My Navajo paint today is a swell trail horse, kinda like a peppy sedan, luxurious and quick but not a hotrod.

Yea, and the donkey gets all upset when I take the paint out of his sight

[Guest Grass Range #51406]

Any horse that ever came over backwards with me is instant Alpo

[Finagler 6853 Life]

A guy work with has had horses for years and trained quite a few.  If he had a horse that liked to rear up, when it did (you can feel it start if you know what to is going to happen) he would grab the horn and lean back to cause the horse to come all the way over as he would step out of the stirrups away from the falling horse.  The horse would shake itself, wondering what just happened but it would stop that action quick.

[Dorado]

7 hours ago, Grass Range #51406 said:

Any horse that ever came over backwards with me is instant Alpo

So he'd have strange questions?

[Dorado]

I helped a friend train a mustang. It was a bit less than a yearling so it wasn't that bad to train. He turned into a great horse. I wanted that one for a long time. Smart, fearless, hated everyone but me and the owner and would do anything we asked him to. My friend gun trained him and  never flinched from the sound of a gun.