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My James Bond Impersonation


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Woke up a week ago with floaters and spider webs in my right eye; no accident, no disease - just black things floating in my field of vision.  Saw the eye doc; he referred me to a retina specialist.  After a bunch of lights and lenses, he advises that I have a torn retina, a separated vein, and hemorrhaging into the eye. 

 

So this morning, I'm in a chair, tilted back looking at the ceiling, awaiting.....the LASER!!!!!

 

"So, Mr. Bond......tell me where MI 6 has hidden the rocket, or I will burn off the backs of your eyeballs!!!"

 

Two whole minutes of zapping, and all is fixed.  I'm told the eye will reabsorb the blood, and the floaters will disappear.  Unfortunately, they also tell me that chances are good that the same will happen on the left side.

 

LL

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As the laser slowly burns its way up the table towards his crotch:  "Do you expect me to talk?"

 

"No, Mr Bond*, I expect you to die."

 

 

 

 

* that's correct, not a typo. the brits don't use a period in mr

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Glad to hear it was an easy fix.

 

Dad had a detached retina several years ago. The fix was to inject a little air into his eye to form a bubble. Until it reattached itself he couldn't bend over and spend he had to sleep upright in a chair.  Did that for a couple of weeks before the problem repaired its self. Then he had problems seeing until the air bubble was reabsorbed..

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I have a wrinkle in the meniscus in my right eye.  When I had cataract surgery, the doctor filled the eye with fluid. 

Said it would help smooth out the wrinkle, which it did, but for three days I was walking around under water. 

At least it looked that way. I watched the fluid level lower each day. I felt like a submarine with UP PERISCOPE. 

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11 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

WAIT a gosh darn minute.  What happened to the girls?????????

That was specific to the individual movie and came after the boresight shot and the first scene. On of my favorites is You Only Live Twice. :wub:

 

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I don't think the floaters will disappear. I had them for years and in my experience they will tend to settle down at the bottom of the eye but when you have some significant movement like running or jumping they will be back. Also be aware of a floater that attaches cause it can eventually pull the retina off - don't ask me how I know.

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I've had floaters as long as I can remember.  I'd guess they first showed up around 13.  At 18 I went to an eye doctor and was told I had the most impressive collection of floaters she'd ever seen.  No one has ever even mentioned the possibility of 'fixing' them, but the optometrist looks at them every year.  For a while, one of them was keeping a count but I don't think the current Dr. does that. 

 

Mine never settle down, but I only notice them when I'm thinking about them.  Like right now. 

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Howdy,

Eye Doc said they might reabsorb all by themselves.

Operation only if it suddenly get much worse.

One eye a couple years ago and those are gone with no operation.

Everybody might be a little different.

BUT its good to check out and at the checkup the worse thing

was hiking up the stairs to the second floor and going back down.

And after the checkup have sun glasses ready too.

Best

CR

 

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12 hours ago, Charlie Plasters, SASS#60943 said:

vitreectomy

 

vit·rec·to·my
vəˈtrektəmē/
noun
noun: vitrectomy; plural noun: vitrectomies
  1. the surgical operation of removing the vitreous humor from the eyeball.

 

WAT?  I won't be able to see funny stuff anymore?  Or will it only remove the clean jokes.  I reckon most of the memes I look at every day don't have much virtue. 

 

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40 minutes ago, Ramblin Gambler said:

 

vit·rec·to·my
vəˈtrektəmē/
noun
noun: vitrectomy; plural noun: vitrectomies
  1. the surgical operation of removing the vitreous humor from the eyeball.

 

WAT?  I won't be able to see funny stuff anymore?  Or will it only remove the clean jokes.  I reckon most of the memes I look at every day don't have much virtue. 

 

It will give you a clear unobstructed view of the world.  Uh oh that might not be good. 

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On ‎8‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 2:43 PM, Alpo said:

As the laser slowly burns its way up the table towards his crotch:  "Do you expect me to talk?"

 

"No, Mr Bond*, I expect you to die."

 

 

 

 

* that's correct, not a typo. the brits don't use a period in mr

You beat me to the punch.

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