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Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out,
"Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"  Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it." So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back . . ."Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!" "Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole! "Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix." So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back . . ."Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!" Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling . . ."Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!" To which Ma replies . . . "Hurts, don't it?!" 

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AKSHULLY, you turn and lift the lid on the tank, where things are chillin'

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25 minutes ago, Dutch Wheeler said:

 

Heck, that works!  Who's going to look in the fridge for valuables? 

 

Just hope the thief isn't hungry or thirsty for a cold brew. 

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1 hour ago, Dutch Wheeler said:

 

Heck, that works!  Who's going to look in the fridge for valuables? 

 

Don't know about the fridge, but I have read several different novels where people hid jewelry in the ice cube trays in the freezer.

 

I have read it often enough that if I was burglarizing a house I would check the freezer. It's like lifting the mattress on the bed. It's a no-brainer.

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1 hour ago, Alpo said:

Don't know about the fridge, but I have read several different novels where people hid jewelry in the ice cube trays in the freezer.

 

I have read it often enough that if I was burglarizing a house I would check the freezer. It's like lifting the mattress on the bed. It's a no-brainer.

 

Yep years ago my wife's house was robbed. They emptied all the cereal, oatmeal, pasta boxes and anything else that was in the cupboards all over the floor. They also emptied the freezers

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27 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

Yep years ago my wife's house was robbed. They emptied all the cereal, oatmeal, pasta boxes and anything else that was in the cupboards all over the floor. They also emptied the freezers

 

We like to think of thieves as being dumb and lazy, but that couldn't be further from the truth. They are just as proficient with their day job as we are with ours. They know all the likely hiding places for valuables and they WILL check them out. There's really nowhere you can hide things that they haven't thought of. All you can do is make it so that it takes too much time and effort to get to it, since they typically won't spend more than ten minutes in your house just in case they tripped a silent alarm or somebody saw them and called the police.

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Edited by Sixgun Sheridan
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